Parts 8-11
*************
Part 8
By Gail
:TSUKASA!: Gail screamed inwardly as Mamo-chan grabbed her arm and with a swish of his cape and a flip of the Time Key transported them to Crystal Tokyo. Clutching the only keepsake she had of Tsukasa, the Pantene Pro V shampoo they had enjoyed so much in the bath the other night, she stifled another sniffle as Mamo-chan led her into the master bedroom of the Crystal Palace. White gauzy curtains let in muted light and she gasped as she beheld the huge white bed, piled high with a mountain of fluffy down pillows. Her shock was further increased when Mamo-chan proceeded to take off his hat, jacket and cape, and smiling at her, began to unbutton his starched white shirt VERY SLOWLY.
"No, NO.....I am not attracted to Mamo-chan, we broke up....remember? We broke up because of the dreams.....those wierd kinky dreams that Mamo-chan had about me, Jen, Miaka and Tenshi washing his hair all at once....REMEMBER? I am not affected, I am not affected, I am not...Oh my god...."
Gail stared dumbfounded as Mamo-chan walked over to the bed, his tight dress pants molded over his cute butt, and laid back on the pillows, dark hair falling over his eyes a bit as he motioned to her.
Mamo-chan: My love, arent you going to join me?
He summoned a rose and twirled it around in his fingers, as Gail looks on glassy eyed.
Suddenly, her shoulder length black hair lengthened into long Odangos as the silky white negligee of Neo-Queen Gail formed billowed around her. Still glassy eyed, she walked slowly to the bed. Mamo-chan smiled "I knew you would come back with me, no one can compete with me, right baby?"
Eyes wide, Fingers slackening, the pantene pro-V shampoo fell to the ground, landing on her foot. Screaming with pain, Gail suddenly remembered where she was.
"Tsukasa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Miaka, Jen, Tenshi, HELP ME!"
The dollar symbol shone bright on her forehead as a beam of light brightened the night sky.
*************** "Onnisan needs to get a life."
Wincing at the sound of yet another wine glass being thrown at another innocent marble pillar in the throne room on Nemesis, Saffir looked down at the portal once more. Well, at least things were looking interesting, Miaka and Sojiro were busy picking roses off the walls, and tickling each other, having forgotten all about about Gail and Mamo-chan AGAIN. Saffir looked on, nauseated as he watched Sojiro pull out a bottle of Herbal Essences from his under one of the pillows on the bed and proceeded to wash Miaka's Hair on the spot. About to hurl as Miaka shouted "YES YES! Baby, more shampoo! More!" Gail was currently screaming for some guy named "Tsukasa" as Mamoru dragged her onto the bed and was attempting to tie her to the bedpost while he readied a portal to grab Miaka, Jen and Tenshi and a couple bottles of shampoo...."Haha my little fantasy will be complete!"
"Uh Oh, Oniisan isn't going to be happy with this."
Deciding that it had been too quiet in the throne room for the last couple of minutes, he quietly tiptoed down the hall and opened the door. Glass glittered and wine ran along the tiles as he beheld his brother asleep in his huge chair.
Walking over, about to wake him up, he touched a lock of his brothers snow white hair then pulled his hand back in horror.
Pink Curlers were haphazardly strewn all over Demando's hair as he murmured in his sleep "MUST HAVE CURLY HAIR, MUST HAVE IT!"
***************************
"Jen, he is MINE! DO YOU HEAR ME?"
Rui looked on, highly amused and entertained as Tenshi grabbed Jen and began wrestling around on the bed.....contemplating whether or not he should climb into bed with them, or go back to sleep, he turned to Tsukasa, and said "I think I will let you go on, Um, I have to sleep early, and um ....yeah.... well."
Tsukasa: Fine, fine, I am coming to save you, Gail, my silky haired,Pantene princess!
Running out the door, Tsukasa crashes into Akira in the Hallway, wearing nothing but tiger stripped boxer shorts. "Where are you going?"
Akira: "Rui invited me to some party, said there were naked girls fighting....sounded fun! He said to dress APPROPRIATELY!"
Tsuaksa, tearing at his hair: ARGHHH!!! Will no one help me save Gail?"
******* "Dammit, I am lost! Where in the world is that blasted shampoo?" Nakago wanders around K-mart, dressed in full seduction regalia (remember girls, the white shirt, and tight pants?) "Herbal Essences, Pantene, they all look the same to me!"
"SUZAKU NO MIKO, I will get you!" grabbing a bottle of Pantene shampoo-and-conditioner-in-one, he summoned a portal to Tsukasa's house.
*********
"TENSHI, Jen, HELP ME!" the echo of Gail's distant voice, traveling over time and dimensions of space sounded throughout the room. Tenshi looked up from being smashed into the pillow and shouted back, "I am coming! Jen, we need to go! Gail is in trouble."
"Hmm?"
Tenshi looks over to find Jen and Rui were busy making out, having forgotten all about her.
"C'mon baby, where is my cranky talk?"
"JEN! ARGHHH, I HAVE LOYALTY, I will save you Gail! But tomorrow night, Mark my word! RUI is MINE!" Running as quickly as she could to Tokyo Tower, she contemplated a task that was known only in legend, but had never been tried before. Closing her eyes, she concentrated as huge white wings erupted out of her shoulder blades.
Before she jumped she shouted "Gail, you owe me for this! I just left Rui with Jen!"
Jumping, she spread her wings and was terrified to discover.....
THEY DIDNT WORK!
Gasping, she watched as the scenery flew by, quickly, and she plummeted to the earth. Van Fanel on Escalaflowne barely missed hitting her as he swooped past.
Van: Woah, there is falling girl over there, better go help!
But as he turned Escalaflowne around and began to accelarate....
Tenshi felt arms grab her body, as a flurry of white and black wings fluttered around her, fingers pulling at her pikachu pajamas.......
Kamui: Angel, am I late? You know, you really need to practice before you do this trick.....but hey, catching you in my arms is always a treat.
Surprised and amazed, Tenshi gasped as Kamui pressed his lips to hers.
*****
Oribe Junpei had never been so traumatized in all his life.
SUZAKU NO MIKO? The girl of legend? Girl?
Admittedly, he liked wearing the strange miko outfit, and that Tamahome guy was pretty attractive, especially when he turned ogreish, and the sign showed on his forehead. Blushing, he smacked himself on the head.
"I am Oribe Junpei! I need to get back to Miaka, who knows what they are doing back in Tokyo! Tamahome? I am NOT attracted to Tamahome!"
Concentrating his thoughts on the pyre before him, he looked to find the object that would ultimately help him summon Suzaku and be with Tamahome forever!
"I did not just say Tamahome, I mean MIAKA, I MEAN IT!"
The fire burned bright, and all gasped as the object appeared like a dreamlike mirage
"Revlon Vitamin D Shampoo"
*******
Part 9
By Jen
******
"Of COURSE!!" Junpei cried happily. "Why didn't I think ofit before? If I can tame my flyaway mop cut and get gorgeous, smooth, silky hair, I just know Miaka will run all over creation just to be with me!!" Clicking his heels like Fred Astaire, he pondered just which paper airplane he should board to get him to the nearest CVS.
***
Akira opened the door, ready for some sweet lovin'. But no more naked girls wrestling, sadly enough... what he got was a heckuva show nonetheless.
"Ooh! Rui! You're so HOT when you're cold!"
"Weird girl..."
Akira covered his eyes. "Rui, temee... where the hell's the party? You have some voyeuristic tendencies I don't know about? I thought there was going to be more than one babe here today!"
"Well, excuse me." Rui rolled his eyes in annoyance.
Jen found this endlessly exciting. "Do that AGAIN!"
"Oi, oi, OI!" Akira shouted. "I'm sick of being underused in the comic,is no one going to pay attention to me even in this dream sequence? ARRRRGGGHH!"
At the sight of Akira rampaging and threatening to turn the place into a scene from the movie that bears his name, Jen backed off a little from a suddenly somehow regretful-looking Rui. "Aw, Akira-kun, don't blow a gasket," she said. "I'm sure Rui can share me..."
Akira looked a little ill. "No offense, but.. you're not quite my type."
Jen nearly popped a blood vessel. "ExCUSE me?! I'm 22!! That's older than you, you loser!"
"Not if you use the dates Kamio-sensei gave us for birthdays," Rui muttered in the background. Jen shot him a Look.
"Fine, then," Jen said, her voice dropping nearly an octave. "What if I transformed to my lemon-writing alter ego, Ivana B. Anonymous?"
"Ivana!?" NOW Akira looked all stirred up. If anyone here has read Ivana's lemons, you'll know her personality is more or less that of a decadent diva of a more advanced age... think Xelas Metallium meets Ivana Trump. ^_^
"Yes..." Jen walked sexily over, tossing her hair. "Would you like that better, my pretty Akira-kun?"
**
"Kamui...!" Tenshi sighed. "How did you know where to find me?"
"You know I'd do anything to protect you, my dear angel," Kamui said in his oh-so-sexy voice, batting his CLAMP eyelashes in a way that caused a nearby gale to escalate into a hurricane. "And besides, I was searching for you anyway. I have a gift for you, my darling."
"A gift!? For me!?" Tenshi's eyes danced.
Instead of answering, Kamui stretched out his hand. It blazed with green fire, and when the brilliance faded, there in his palm sat the tiniest, most exquisite little Pikachu plushie to ever strike fear into the hearts of men (tenshi jumps in and beats jen with a stick at this point) erm, I mean, grace the world with its adorable presence.
Tenshi squealed. "For me!? It's so CUUUUUUUUUUUUTEEEEEEE!!!!! KAWAAAAYUUUIIII!" (Somewhere in the background, Hikaru from KOR mutters at someone stealing her turn of phrase.)
"I'm so glad you like it," Kamui said, kissing Tenshi's neck deeply.
She shivered. "But can I ask for something... in return?"
"Oh? And what would that be?"
"For a Pikachu..." When she took the toy from him, he slid his now- free hand inside her shirt. "How about a peek.... " and as he kissed her... "and a 'chu'?"
***
[chu is the sound effect for a kiss]
***
Mamoru was busy tracing rose petals along Gail's legs, muttering things about shampoo fantasies and crystal cities in a slightly maniacalvoice. Gail was trying... desperately... not to enjoy it... EEK... reminding herself that her destiny was with Tsukasa, ahhh,only Tsukasa! His hair made Mamoru's wildest shampoo dreams pale in comparison! But where, oh, where, were Jen and Tenshi? She expected them to be here by now!
Mamoru began forming a shimmering sphere from thin air with his magical powers. "Let me get your friend from my hyperspace portal... she is such a lovely angel... and the two of you together..." "Will be a Dirty Pair, I'm sure," Gail groaned. She looked through the opening dimensional gateway so she could call out to Tenshi for help. But what should she see when the image flickered into place but...
"Oh, GOD!!! She's doing THAT with a CLAMP boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "We'll NEVER get to her now!!"
Gail nearly gave up hope. "Oh, JEN!! You've GOT to save me!!!!!"
** "Feed me another grape, Akira-kun."
Jen, having adopted the attitude (though not quite the looks) of a 45-year-old sultana, yawned and lay her head back on the satin pillow. "Yes, my goddess..." Akira kissed her hand and reached into the bowl for another grape, which he lowered slowly into her open mouth, letting his fingers play about her lips.
"Mmm... you are so good to me..." she sighed in rapture. "You are a man who knows how to treat a woman..."
"For a woman like you," Akira said in his low-low-sexy voice, "it's all worth it."
"....JEN!! You've GOT to save me!!!!!!"
Morphing almost instantaneously into shoujo-mode (and sending Akira sprawling backwards about six feet), Jen leapt to her feet. "That's Gail's voice! She's in trouble! My God, I have to do something!"
Adopting sexy-diva-mode for a few more moments, she reached down and kissed Akira on the lips. "I'm sorry, honey," she drawled, "I've got to go. I'll call you..."
Jen reached into Hammerspace to bring out the nearest available Magical Item that could transport her to Gail's side. "Hmm? What's thisscroll? It doesn't look entirely legit to me. The F4, Gods of Sky and Earth? That's kinda fishy..." [*differently subtitled, of course, it could be the Universe of the F4 Gods]
"Oh well, here goes anyway." With a deep breath, Jen called upon the power of the scroll, and she was enveloped by a bright red light... ...... through the void of dimensional space she flew, hastening to Gail's aid... when suddenly she saw a blue streak fly past her....
::Oh no! That means I've switched places with someone!!
Once I arrive at my destination, someone else will have ended up where I was before!!!!
But... who!?::
*****************************************
Part 10
By Tenshi
*********
Meanwhile at Tsukasa's house....
"SUZAKU NO MIKO!!! Where are you???" Nakago wandered around Tsukasa's huge estate. "She has to be around here somewhere.... " Nakago looked down at thebottle of Pantene Shampoo-&-Conditioner-in-one. "I will get her to performthe special and intimate shampoo'ing act on me and increase my strength!
Then I'll get that devil Tamahome once and for all! BWAHAHAHA....
...but first.... I need to find her...." Nakago continued walking down the hall and noticed one of the doors was open. The inside looked like aflorist's shop after a tornado. Roses and petals everywhere. "A bed ofroses would be the perfect way to seduce her." Nakago started to pick upthe petals, and then heard some giggles.
"That annoying laugh?! It can only be!!!" Nakago quickly ran across hall and peered into the room.
-----
"Soujiro!!! I told you!!! We can't do this right now.... Gail's in trouble!!"
"Ah, Tsukasa will take care of it. I mean... he's not here ne? So he must be helping her?"
"Well....",P> "See? So everything is taken care of! Now that you have nothing to worry about... "
"The Suzako no Miko is mine!" Nakago barged into the room where Soujiro and Miaka were enjoying each other's company.
"Suzako no Miko?" Soujiro looked around. "What's a Su..zako? Ohhhh, Suzuki maybe? Thoses are nice cars.... babes really love OUCH!"
Miaka stands up and rubs her hands after hitting Soujiro.
"I'm a Suzako no Miko.... and that.... is Nakago... one of the Seiryuu Seven! Ohhhhh, if only Tamahome was here.... Sorry Soujiro luv... but I just don't think you can take this guy."
"I can't take this guy? He looks like such a push over... I mean, look at that hair? It's so... dull and lifeless. Now, if he used Herbal Essence..."
"Quiet!!!" Nakago pushed Soujiro on to a bed and walked towards Miaka. "You will make me the most powerful man in the Universe! With this bottle of, " Nakago paused to read the label again, "Pantene and the shampoo'ingceremony!"
"Pantene?" Miaka reached out and took the bottle from Nakago's hands.
"Hmmm... nope, this is shampoo AND conditioner you evil baka. Won't that mess up your little ceremony? Besides.... what about Sol? I heard she used to be a hair dresser or something."
"Conditioner? ARGH!!! I can't help it if I can only read ancient Chinese!
These wierd squiggle letters make no sense to me!" Nakago opened a portal back to K-mart, his plans foiled by illteracy.
------
Meanwhile in the Konan empire....
Junpei walked around the shopping core of the capital city of Konan looking for the special item he had to get to stay with Tamahome (NO! Miaka! I want to return to Miaka!), a bottle of Revlon Vitamin D Shampoo.Unfortunately, he wasn't having much luck.
"Soap Root for sale! Makes your hair silky.... you! Girl of legend! You look like you need some soap root... only 2 mon each! They sell quickly!"
A nasty looking old lady was sitting among a vareity of soaps and hair pins.
"Umm... no... actually, I'm looking for some Revlon Vitamin D Shampoo? Do you know where I can find some?"
"Hmm... strange word.... Shampoo? Hmm... I've heard that somewhere before.... special Shampoo I think..."
"Yes Yes!" Junpei cried out. "I'm looking for very special Shampoo!"
"Hmm... okay, try that little building over there. " The old bag pointed to a small cafe down the street. "They know about special Shampoo, Ok?
SoapRoot for Sale!!!! Makes your hair silky just like our beloved Emperor...."
Junpei ran down the street as fast as he could in his beautiful Miko outfit ("Girls are just so lucky.... this fabric is so soft!") into the small cafe.
Smells of chinese noodle soup filled his nose. He noticed a very short old women behind the counter... maybe she was a friend of the soap lady?
"Hello! My name is..."
"Son-in-law... you must be son-in-law..."
"Um... no... my name is Junpei, the legendary girl ("Girl??" Junpei discreetly checks... "nope... at least that's still the same") to be the Suzaku no Miko! I must find some very special Shampoo in order to go home and make all my friends happy ("Oh Miaka, I will show you just how happy I'll make you! You'll be the happiest bride in the world!
wait... thatsounds familiar... oh well") "
"Special Shampoo did you say son-in-law?"
"Um... yeah..."
"Just a moment...." the old lady went behind the counter and returned with a young girl with long purple-ish hair.
"Wah! You must be Jun-chan! Wo ai Jun-chan...." The girl squished Junpei tightly.
"Um.... Ano.... I'm... um.... Who are you?"
"I your very special Shampoo of course!!!" Junpei's eyes bugged out a bit.
"Um... no... you see, I need Revlon Vitamin D Shampoo..."
"What it matter what kind of Shampoo? I eat lots vitamins! What's a Revlon?"
"I'm sorry Miss.... Shampoo. But I need shampoo for my hair...." "Shampoo for hair? Hmm...."
While the young girl with bad English pondered this, Junpei snuck out to continue his quest for the Revlon Vitamin D Shampoo....
-----------
Meanwhile in a room at the Clamp School Campus....
Tenshi and Kamui finish embracing and look up at the ceiling...
"Ahhh.... you Clamp boys are just so kawaii....."
"Clamp?" Kamui turned to face Tenshi again.
"The people that draw you of course silly Kamui." Tenshi gave Kamui a light playful kiss on the cheek and started to stare at her new Pika plush
("What should I call you... I already have a "Pikachu", and a "Chibipika..." hmmm.... "PikaTwo? No....")
"Um... Angel... draw me?"
Tenshi sighed and lovingly put the little Pikachu down.
"Yeah... you dont think boys naturally come as hot as you do you?"
Kamui leaned back and stared at the ceiling again. "Hmmm.... Then.... does that mean the world isn't really coming to an end?"
"Of course not!"
"But she told me..."
"Oh Kamui... just think about it. It was supposed to end in 1999 right?"
"I suppose so... our destiny was foretold and the earth's final legend began, etc etc"
"Well, its 2001 now! We're still here! You stilll.... welll....
*Tenshi blushes* you're just as hot as ever so..."
"Whew... but then... Kotori..."
"Shhhhhhh... forget her...." Tenshi picked up the little plush Pika...
"Let's me and you have some fun shall we?" Tenshi smiled her most kawaii-right-out-of-a-Clamp-manga smile.
"Ummm... Angel.... what do you have in mind?"
"Ever heard of cosplay my little "Pika?" heehee"
somewhere in the background Tenshi thought she heard somebody say "Oh, God!!! She's doing THAT with a CLAMP boy!!!!!!!!!" She paused for a moment wondering who wouldn't like a real life Pikachu and then went back to her task....
------------------
Part ummm whatever *too lazy to look* (Gail *whispers* It's Part 11 :)
by~Miakachan
*The portal closed up leaving Gail without hope.*
Gail *trembling*: Mamochan *looks up at him with teary eyes* You know I don't love you anymore, and I know that it hurts you for me to say this, but it's true. It's just that... I mean I can't be with you anymore. *sighs*
Mamochan *sits on the bed next to Gail and looks up thoughtfully*: But what about us? About all the things we've been through together??
Gail: I'm sorry, but it's just that, I love Tsukasa now. And I know that if you truly love me then, well you'll let me go. *Gail starts sobbing* I miss... I miss...
Mamochan *sighs*: I know, I know, your curly haired pantene pro-v darling.
*holds up his pantene* But look, I have it now too!!
Gail *groans*: Look, I know you're a good guy. Would you just let me go please?
Mamochan: Okay-
Gail: Hounto?!!
Mamochan: Wait, let me finish. I'll let you go~ on one condition.
Gail *turns to face him*: What?
Mamochan: I want to duel for your hand in marriage against that curly haired guy. And if I lose then I'll never see you again.
**********************************************************************
Tsukasa *walks into his house and hears loud banging noises coming from his room*:
What the-? *astonished to see Soujiro and some freaky blone haired dude punching each other*
Miakachan: Soujiro!! Stop it Nakago-kun!! Please, stop it!!
Soujiro: No way! If this crazy jerk thinks he can steal you away he can just forget it. I'm not gonna be like Tsukasa and let anyone take away my future bride.
Miakachan *reddends*: What?!?! *thinks to herself, what does THAT mean?*
Tsukasa *reddens as well, but from anger*: Hey, shut up! It's not my fault some weird guy in a cape and mask broke into my house.
*turns to Nakago* Who are you??? *mumbles to himself about the lack of security in his house*
Nakago: I WILL defeat you! *his blue symbol starts to light up*
Miakachan *getting scared calls out for Tamahome to come and protect them*:
Tamahome!! Wherever you are please come quick!! *****************************************************************
Tamahome*in suprise*: Wow, you're hair looks so nice today!
Junpei *giggles*: Oh stop it, my hair is nothing compared to yours.
Tamahome *blushes*: Weeell...
Junpei *taken in by Tamahome*: Ummm Tamahome?
Tamahome: Huh?
*Junpei's eyes grow wide as Tamahome is englufed by a red light*
Junpei: Hey wait!!! *runs into the red light*
**********************************************************************
Miakachan: Oh no!! I think we're losing...
Nakago smiles evilly: Hehe, that's for sure. *summon's his power and directs it at Soujiro*
Miakachan: Noooo!!!!
*Nakago is about to strike but a red bubble surrounds the room and out comes Tamahome and Junpei in the Suzako no Miko dress*
Miakachan *eyes widden*: Tamahome!! How did you get here??
Nakago *growls*: Tamahome, how did you get here??
Soujiro *shrinks into deformed mode*: Junpei, how did you get here? And what are you doing in a dress?
*Tamahome gazes at Miaka his eyes widdening, then turns to Nakago and looks at him defiantly*
Tamahome: Let's get it on.
*****************************************************************