Author: Innominate

Author's note: Rating is PG-13, though it's not until the next chapter that it's finally applicable.  Will eventually be shounen-ai of sorts, though it depends on your interpretation.

I've forgotten to mention for two chapters that this is set between the Dungeon Dice Monster episodes and Battle City episodes, approximately.  There are a couple of deviations from that timeline but it explains the most important parts, like Joey's reaction to Yami and Duke and Tristan's camaraderie (as it's "p.s."—pre-Serenity).  Also pertaining to the actual story, there's a line from the dub buried somewhere in this chapter, but I'm not going to credit the specific quote as I think everyone will recognize it.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed—I wanted to write responses but didn't get a chance to this week, and besides, I've discovered a flaw in my reasoning for posting them on my livejournal.  I'll post them at the end of the chapter next time, and I apologize for leaving some questions hanging until then.  Special thanks to ideseth for allowing me to use the "ever-growing eyelashes" observation and for making HTML-illiterate me my own website.  I have great friends.  ^-^

Disclaimer:  I do own Yu-Gi-Oh!  And I also have the bad habit of leaving the word 'not' out of important sentences. 

Everyone's starin' at me when I go to breakfast the morning after. No, not that kind of morning after, geez. Sometimes a preposition is just a preposition. Anyway, everyone's lookin' at me, but I ignore the buzz that ignites as soon as I walk in the room. It'll die down when people get wind of the next sordid and illicit scandal, which in our class should take about five minutes. Meanwhile I'll just enjoy the attention.

So after picking up a huge stack of pancakes at the breakfast bar, I make my way over to my friends' table. Who, to their credit, greet me fairly normal, if a little overly curious. Yugi scoots over to make room for me. He's tryin' to smile and hide a yawn at the same time. Come to think of it, he looks exhausted. And so does Bakura.

I give the lil' guy a nudge as I sit down. "Hey, Yug, what's goin' on? You look like you got less sleep last night than you did on the bus." And nobody sleeps on our bus. It's like tryin' to sleep through an earthquake—oh wait, I did that once. What? It was a little one. Okay, when I say nobody, I mean nobody. You'll just have to trust me on this one.

"Umm, Bakura and I were—talking—a long time. Right, Bakura?" Yugi gives Bakura a questioning look, and Bakura looks distinctly uncomfortable.

"Right," he agrees a little too hastily. I raise my eyebrows. This is a little suspicious. In fact, if it weren't Yugi and Bakura, I'd wonder if the next sordid and illicit scandal would be coming from them. But they obviously don't want to out with it in public, so I'll grill Yugi later.

I turn to Tristan and Duke. They look tired too, but not the same way as Yugi and Bakura. Whereas those two look awkward, Tristan and Duke look content and smug. "And you guys?"

Tristan stretches lazily. "Great. The administrators forgot to disconnect pay-per-view from our room. We watched movies all night and billed it to the school."

That sounds like something Tristan and I would do together. But no. Tristan's gone all buddy-buddy with Duke now. I swear, just one dog suit and I get sent to the doghouse. Is that any way to treat a guy?

Téa rolls her eyes. "Don't you have to have a credit card for that—nevermind, I don't want to know," she groans. She looks less than her usual perky self. She's got more bags under her eyes than we carried on the bus and her hair is stuffed unceremoniously under a ski cap.

"Hey, why are you tired?" I ask her. "You got a private room."

"Yeah, but the people above me broke curfew," she grumbled. "I didn't get to sleep until after two-thirty. Do the names Dan Brown and Adam Reece ring a bell?"

Ha. They're only the two biggest party makers in school. Last year they held an around-the-clock spring break party for the entire week, and I doubt the minor inconvenience of relocation will stop it this year. Mark my words, within five days they'll have had every member of the class in that room at some time or another and have mysteriously acquired an illegal beverage in the process. And it'll all happen right above Miss I-Got-A-Private-Room's head. Ya gotta love poetic justice.

Yugi turns to me. "How about you, Joey?" he asks.

That seems to wake everybody up. My friends may be better than the rest of the population, but even they can't hold back the curiosity about how I spent my first night with Kaiba. Okay, that was a little dodgy. Don't think even I would want to know the details of that one. But as for last night?

I shrug. "Couldn't be better."

Tristan stares at me suspiciously. "You didn't have any problems with Kaiba?"

I think about it. "Other than him snoring like a dog? No." Okay, honest to goodness, that was me, but you think I'm gonna admit that at the breakfast table? I get enough 'dog' comments without volunteering them.

Téa's the one who finally asks what they're all thinkin'. "What exactly happened last night with your fight, anyway?"

"It wasn't a fight."

Tristan snorts, but it's true. At least, in my definition of the word fight. To me, fightin' is black eyes and bloody noses and a broken rib or two. As for me and Kaiba's little altercation? I got a slight bruise on my right cheek, but if anyone asks, I can always blame the lighting.

Ms. Freak didn't even write it up. She drug both of us out to the hallway after Kaiba's fist met my face, grilled us, and seemed nonplused when both Kaiba and I agreed that I provoked him—me because, in spite of my roommate, I didn't want to get sent home yet, and Ms. Freak's a pushover if ya play the repentant sinner. And Kaiba probably just wouldn't admit to pickin' a fight with a 'mongrel.' In any case, I think Ms. Freak was thankful for an excuse to skip the paperwork, so she let us off with the warning that if it happened again, she'd have to separate us.

'Course, with that kinda warning, I was just waiting for Kaiba to find an excuse to jump me in the night—okay, now that sounded really bad—but all that happened was we both went back to our room, where two chaperones delivered our luggage to us. I think that was supposed to be some sort of punishment, not being allowed back in the dining room. Some punishment. How many other students have a school administrator as a bellhop? I tried to tip them, but they just glared at me and left.

And then Kaiba and I went to bed early without even speakin' to each other again. This morning he was already dressed and out the door by the time I even woke up. When I tell the others this, Tristan and Duke almost look disappointed. Not that I blame them—even if you're not a street fighter, good health has very low entertainment value.

But if they wanna call it a fight, I'll allow it for one purpose. I remind Tristan as we're leaving—"You owe me five dollars, bud."

"Oh yeah?" he says. Tristan's stingy with his money—he needs every spare penny to spend on girls and girly magazines. But I've got his number.

"Yeah," I say. "Because Kaiba and I came to blows first." He sighs, reaches in his pocket, and pays up. Then he keeps his hand out after I've pocketed it myself.

"Now you owe me five."

"Oh yeah?" I say. I'm not so quick to part with my hard-earned cash either. Sure, it was a bet, but wouldn't you say having to room with Kaiba qualifies as earning it? It's slave labor, if ya ask me—I deserve much more than five dollars. Like a million.

But Tristan's not budging. "Yeah. You lost."

I'd conveniently forgotten about that part. I sigh, reach in my pocket, and hand it back.

We all part ways at the door. Tristan, Duke, Bakura, and Téa are hitting the regular slopes. Me, I've never skied before in my life. I manage to trip over my skis two steps out the door and they're not even on my feet yet. We all thought it was best I get a lesson first, and Yugi, loyal lil' Yugi, decided to come with me.

"'Preciate ya doin' this, bud," I say as we trudge towards the bunny slope. "I mean, I thought you already knew how to ski."

"Sorta," Yugi says vaguely. He yawns again. I look at him more closely and see him stumble in his ski boots, like he's so tired he can't bother watching where he's going. When he finally glances my way I give him a look.

"Did you and Bakura really stay up all night talkin'?" I ask. He rolls his eyes.

"No." He lowers his voice and I have to bend down to hear him. "We think our other selves dueled all night. Yami tried to keep it a secret so it wouldn't bother me, but I must have been unconsciously giving him some of my energy, because today I'm exhausted." He sighs. "Besides, I knew something was going on when I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I was already halfway to the door by the time I woke up. "

Man. This possession stuff is complicated. Yugi mistakes my look of confusion for concern. Well, I'd be that too, but it's easier for me to worry when I know what I'm worrying about.

"Oh, it's okay," he says. "I'll get to rest later."

"Going to take a nap after the ski lesson?" I ask. Yugi just grins mischievously. It's a very amusing sight, Yugi plotting mischief. It's like one of Santa's elves gone punk. And then we reach the slopes where we're supposed to gather for class. We strap our skis on our feet, Yugi helping me with the ski boots.

"Joey, do me a favor," he says suddenly. "Stick by me on the slopes."

More like it needs to be the other way around—I'm the one tripping around on these things like I've forgotten how to walk. Is there such a thing as having two left skis, 'cause if so, I think I got them. Still, it's not like I'm ever going to say no to a request like that, not from Yugi. "Sure thing, bud."

"Thanks." He nods at me and absentmindedly touches his millennium puzzle. And then he just stands there for a minute, blinking and looking around. Maybe about two seconds passes before he starts freakin'. His next words are a low hiss, and I have to strain to catch them.

"...This isn't a duel!"

Yugi's giving the snow and skis a slightly panicked look, and then notices me lookin' at him as odd as if he'd gotten a crew cut.  He figures out that he's acting funny and tries to amend it. "Uh, hi Joey."

Okay, my first clue was the crazy actions. My second, if I looked close enough, was the fact that Yugi's eyelashes got longer. Some twins have a birthmark to distinguish them—Yugi and his kindred spirit have got the ever-growing eyelashes. But even if that weren't enough to tip me off, the fact that he's sayin' hello after spending the last half hour with me is: This ain't Yugi.

I blink. I know about Yami Yugi, because Téa's attempted to explain it to me a million times (and told me about the eyelash thing). And I guess you could say I've talked with him, but that's usually only when we're dueling or in a life-or-death situation—come to think of it, Yugi has this weird knack for combining the two. But I've never actually gotten to know him, one-on-one, because he usually hangs low when we're socializing.

Maybe I can see why. The guy's leaning down and poking suspiciously at the snow, staring at it like he thinks it'll melt if his glare is heated enough. Hmm, I think Yugi's grandpa got the millennium puzzle from Egypt. Guess that includes any ancient spirits entrapped in them. 'Winter' is probably going to take some getting used to.

He tries to stand back up and ends up falling down. His face is perplexed; the guy's obviously not used to not automatically being good at something. But ya know, even if the guy hadn't saved our butts a million times in the past year, any alter ego of Yugi's is a friend of mine. And I wouldn't say that about just anyone, either. I hold my hand out.

"Here, let me help you." I hoist him up.

"Thanks," he grumbles, dusting snow off his pants.

"Err...Yami Yugi, I presume?" I ask in a low voice.

"In the flesh," he says, sighing. "Unfortunately."

I grin. Yami's got a resigned look on his face, like Yugi's pulled this trick more than once. And I gotta feel a little sorry for him too—I was right about the winter thing, because he's already started shivering. I offer him my scarf as I ask, "So what should I call you?"

He's still a bit wary, but he accepts the scarf and seems more interested in his surroundings now that he's seen the people on the ski slope opposite us. "Just Yugi. People will get confused if you start calling me anything else."

Point.

And then our ski instructor arrives and—whoa. Now I know why they call this the 'bunny' slop. Tristan, eat your heart out. I'm gettin' lessons from Miss February herself. She's clad in a purple ski suit that looks like it's shrink-wrapped to her body, and even though she's got her long blonde hair partially covered in a ski cap and is wearing ski goggles, I can tell she's gorgeous. She flashes us a smile as dazzling white as the snow we're standing on, and as I'm droolin', she pulls off her goggles and introduces herself.

"Good morning," she says, "I'll be your instructor. The name's Mai Valentine."

Now it's my turn to fall over. Yami returns my earlier favor and helps me back up.

Mai looks our way when she hears the commotion I'm makin'. "Joey Wheeler? Yugi Mutou?" she asks incredulously. "I didn't realize you two were part of the school trip that's visiting this week."

"Us? What are you doing here?" I ask.

She shrugs. "The lodge needed some extra help while your class was here, and I needed some extra money." While I'm still standin' befuddled, she flashes another smile. "We'll talk later, 'kay? I've got a lesson to teach."

She claps her hand together. "Everyone, spread out. Before we do anything else, we need to learn how to fall."

Everyone obliges, but I gotta ask, "Why do we have to know how to fall? I thought we were tryin' to learn how to stay up on these things."

Mai gives me a look. "Of course you are, but we don't want you breaking an arm in the process. I'm teaching you how to fall safely." She's walkin' among us, making sure we have enough space between us, and she swats my ass when she reaches me. I try to fight her off, but all that happens is she grins and uses me as an example when I tip over again.

"Now, if you fall sideways, your first instinct will be to land on your knee, like Joey did just now," she says. Sure, don't mention that I was bein' sexually harassed by the ski instructor at the time. "But you don't want to do this," she continues, "because it might twist underneath you. Try to land on your hips or on your seat. And don't use your poles to try to catch yourself, unless you want to accidentally impale yourself."

She's joking, right? Just in case, I hastily move my poles away from my body.

We spend the first part of the lesson practicing falling. It's weird at first, but after a while it gets pretty funny to watch a group of thirty people intentionally fall on their ass. Yami and I start a contest to see who can fall the most creatively only to get told off by Mai.

"I swear, Joey Wheeler, if you make it through the week without breaking something, it'll be a miracle," she says in exasperation after I execute a perfect one-and-a-half twist to land on my left hip. That's Mai for ya. Always the vote of confidence. Though afterwards Yami compliments me on my excellent form.

Eventually we move on to walking on our skis, and then actually skiing. The bunny slope's actually not that bad. Though we don't have a real, up-in-the-air ski lift, we do have a lift with moving ropes that we can catch to pull us up the hill, and that's pretty neat. I could go skiing just for that.

Of course, our first run down the hill Yami does perfectly. One percent grade or no, that's not fair. The guy grew up in a sand castle and is still good at snow sports. It's my turn next. I take a deep breath and head down. Whoa, this is better than sledding! It's like—it's like water-skiing, but without the water. Okay, never been good at metaphors. But this is fun.

I get to the bottom and try to stop like Mai showed us. But I'm going too fast, and end up doin' my best sideways fall yet. Right into the ski rack leaning against the fence at the edge of the slope. The one set far enough away that runaway beginners shouldn't be able to plow into it. Key word: shouldn't. I gotta better word for ya, but I'm not allowed to say it on the bunny slope.

Yami and Mai both hurry over. "Joey, are you okay?" Yami asks me.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumble, trying to disentangle myself. They both lean over to help me.

"Chasing rabbits, mutt?"

Of course. Figures Kaiba would have to show up to witness my incompetence. Like he needed an excuse. He's decked out in a suit and skis. I do gotta give him credit, that white anorak is much better than that drab olive shirt he's always wearin', which is so wrong for his skin tone—oh, shut up. Téa's observation again, not mine. I was just pointing it out. Anyway, I don't care if he's wearing a paper bag if he's insulting me.

I glare at him. "Oh, go back to your laptop."

Kaiba's attention has already shifted from me to Yami. Who he thinks is Yugi, of course. He's givin' Yami an intense look, which Yami is returning. Man, if the rivalry in the air was any thicker I'd be suffocating.

"So you're actually a beginner at something?" Kaiba asks.

"I learn fast," Yami says shortly. You can say that again. The guy whipped Duke at his own game not too long ago. In spite of my joking, I wouldn't be surprised to see Yami doin' competitive slalom by the end of the week.

Apparently, neither would Kaiba. "Challenge you to a race on Friday," he says suddenly.

Yami's caught off guard, but he covers it well, with only a quirk of an eyebrow. "On what terms?"

Kaiba nods at the nearby beginner slope. "That slope. You'll be on it by this afternoon. Five days should be plenty of time for you to master it." He says it in a way that's part compliment, part sarcasm.

Yami counters with smugness. "You're on."

Kaiba just nods and starts to ski away, like he's so professional he don't have to bother givin' us a good-bye. And then he stops and looks back at us. Actually—at me. But when he speaks, it's to Yami. "You skiing with the dog today?"

"I'm skiing with my best friend." And this is Yami talkin', not just Yugi. I grin. Whether he's speakin' for Yugi or speakin' his own mind, it's nice to be appreciated.

Kaiba smirks. "That is what they call them." And all my warm fuzzies dissipate. Damn, Yami walked into that one. Well, he had good intentions, at least, and ya can't expect the guy to be up on every twenty-first century idiom. He's probably doin' good just getting past the thee's and thou's.

"I will offer you one piece of advice, Yugi—" Kaiba waits until Yami and I are watching. And Mai. And the rest of our entire class. Kaiba's managed to completely disrupt the lesson, but it's not like I blame the other students—it's not everyday you get to see a talkin' monkey.

"What?" Yami finally has to ask him.

He looks at me again. "Watch out for yellow snow."

"Hey!" I sputter as he turns on his heels and leaves. I try to think of a good comeback.           "Remember who you're roomin' with!"

So I settle for a comeback. People are laughing, but I doubt it's at my incredible wit. I glare at his departing back. Professional my ass. Evolution never stooped so low.

~~~

I'm still fumin' as I go back up to my room later that night. I'd avoided it as long as possible, first hanging out with the rest of the gang in Yugi's and Bakura's room after dinner. Téa wasn't supposed to be there, bein' a girl on the guy's floor, but we smuggled her in, and Mai dropped by too after her staff meeting.

In fact, Mai had been sympathetic to Téa's rooming plight, and so Téa will be crashing in Mai's room for the rest of the week. I tried to convince Téa to give me her room key but she refused, saying it wasn't allowed. Which means that now there's a perfectly good private room not even bein' used while I'm still stuck with Kaiba. I told Téa she wasn't allowed to be in a guy's room, either, but she ignored me.

So it's my own door I'm standing outside of come eleven o'clock, which is our curfew for the week. Eleven o'clock curfew—yet another rule the admins postponed telling us for as long as they could. Though considering I've been skiing for almost eight hours today, and I gotta be up by seven o'clock tomorrow for breakfast for another full day of skiing, I almost understand the point of this one, not that I'd tell any of the admins that. Right now I'm more tired than an eighteen-wheeler. Ha, that's my dad's favorite pun. 'Cause we're the Wheelers, get it? Oh, nevermind.

I debate knocking. It's my own door, but if I don't, I risk catchin' Kaiba in his underwear. And after last night's conversation that's a scary, scary, thought. I ponder for a moment and then compromise with myself. I slide the key through the lock, crack the door a little and say "It's me" to give him fair warning. When he doesn't answer I walk right in.

"Does he have any face-down cards?" he's saying. Is he talkin' to himself? Doesn't seem like Kaiba, but then again, he's probably the only one willing to listen. But when I walk into the room, he's on the phone. Okay, I know he's a big-shot CEO used to emergencies all hours of the day, and there are about a zillion spreadsheets on the bed in front of him. But he don't seem to be doing any work as the next thing I hear him say is, "No, don't play that one. Sacrifice Mystical Elf to summon Gyakutenno Megami. She's got the strongest offense and defense in your hand right now."

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. "What is this, Dial-a-Duel?"

"Shut up," he snaps at me, finally noticing I'm in the room, and then has to tell the person on the phone, "No, not you, Mokuba! The mutt just came crawling in with his tail between his legs. I thought this hotel had a no animals rule."

"Then monkeys would be banned too," I mutter, but I flop down on the bed and leave him alone after that. At least until he gets off the phone with his lil' bro. I gotta soft spot for younger siblings, and Mokuba's a good kid. His devotion to Seto Kaiba is a little freaky, but he'll grow out of it. I hope.

I peel off my shoes and settle down on my bed. No sense tryin' to go to sleep while Kaiba's still jabbering away. I pull my deck out of my nightstand and take all the non-monster cards out, putting them neatly to the side, and then shuffle what's left. I put two cards face down and one card face up. It's Garoozis, a level five monster, attack strength eighteen hundred. I bite my lip as I contemplate my next move.

After a while, I hear Kaiba telling his lil' bro good night and to go to bed soon. I wonder why he's up so late in the first place and then remember it's spring break, and some people don't have curfews. Though he's also eleven years old and his only guardian is away for a week. Who's he stayin' with, a bodyguard?

I weigh my curiosity against my desire for health a moment, and then curiosity wins out. As usual. Don't know why Kaiba's never realized that 'cat' is more appropriate if he's gonna give me a pet name, 'cause with every question I'm in danger of him killin' me.

"How's your bro doin'?" I ask him. "Is he lonely in that big mansion all by himself for a week?"

"Hm," is all I get for an answer at first. Kaiba's arranging the stacks of paper in front of him and apparently it requires all his effort. But he finally says, "As if I would be irresponsible enough to leave him by himself in spite of this stupid trip."

"Well, I thought maybe somebody at Kaiba Corp was with him..."

Kaiba snorts. "After everything that's happened recently?"

Point. Previous attempts at kidnapping, particularly successful ones, don't bode well for would-be baby-sitters. Even with the bad guys supposedly gone now, I don't blame Kaiba for being a little suspicious. But that still doesn't answer my question.

"So where is he?" I ask.

Kaiba sighs. "Yugi's grandpa's."

Well, knock me over with a harpy's feather duster. "Yugi's grandpa's?!"

Kaiba glares at me. Apparently the only thing worse than having to accept charity at the hands of his rival is having to admit it to me. "It's not exactly like it was my first choice..."

But I'm gettin' it. "More like it was your only choice."

Kaiba doesn't answer, but his snort tells me I hit the nail on the head. "Well, Mokuba likes the game shop. For whatever reason," he mutters. "As long as he's happy." He finishes organizing his paperwork, and then stands up and starts to walk the room. He stops at my bed and stares at the game. "What in the world are you doing?"

I shrug. "Playin' Solitaire."

"Hm." Appears that he's fond of that syllable. "How?"

Kaiba's asking me how to play a duel monsters game. I take a moment to savor the role reversal, and then gesture at the cards in front of me. "I have three cards on the field. I pick two and try to keep their levels from adding up to more than nine but their attack points from going under three thousand."

"Like Blackjack." The tone in his voice is sayin' simple games for simple minds. But after a pause he asks, "But how do you win?"

I think about it. "You run out of cards."

He snorts again. Figures Kaiba wouldn't see the point of doin' something just for fun. I mean, I only invented the game when I was first learning to play duel monsters so I could familiarize myself with my deck and have fun at the same time. Obviously I prefer playin' against someone, but if I don't have that option, it's still a way to pass the time.

Yet Kaiba's still watching me as I pull my Flame Swordsman and an Ax Raider for a successful turn. "You don't use your trap or magic cards," he says.

The guy doesn't miss a thing. But I have to admit, "I haven't figured out how to use them yet."

He thinks about it. "You could at least put your equip cards in—you've got a Salamandra and a Dragon Nails, right? That would help weight the attack points in your favor. And your Copycat could be a wild card."

I wonder if I should worry that Kaiba knows my deck this well. But I stop the game for a moment and study my magic and trap cards thoughtfully. "That might work," I say slowly. "Though I wouldn't want every card to help me. Maybe I could put a couple of trap holes in that would cause me to lose that hand automatically."

"Or a mirror force. And a polymerization card could also complicate things, if you have one," he suggests. He's really gettin' into this. "That way if you formed a fusion monster you might have to use all three cards instead of two."

"Hm." Shoot, now he's got me doing it. "Maybe I'll try that. Thanks."

Waitasecond. I just thanked Seto Kaiba. We both recognize the absurdity at the same moment.

"I'm taking a shower," he says abruptly and walks into the bathroom. He probably has to punish himself now for bein' nice to the neighborhood stray. While I'm left staring at my cards in confusion. If I'm not mistaken, Kaiba and I just cooperated with each other for a grand total of two minutes. As eventful as the past couple of days have been, forget the bus ride, forget last night's fight, forget Yugi's little spirit-switch on the ski slope.

This is the strangest thing that's happened all week.

*

TBC...

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