Diary051001

05 10 01

well.. technically it's the 11th now..considering it's 1 20 AM.. but watever..

i actually don't know wat to write about.. i'm juss writing cuz i feel like.. this section needs more than one entry.. i'm writing IN john's room right now.. he told me to write that i did his laundry today "like any good gf would..." h a h a ... john.. don't u kno that i only did your laundry cuz i saw u put on dirty underwear this morning??? uGh..!! and btw.. john.. those blue briefs? one day i'm gonna get a hold of those and toss em.. u won't even kno wat hit you.. hahah xP

anyway.. it's kinda funny how the end of the year rolls around.. and you find yourself having more free time than usual because it's study week and the last thing ur doing is studying.. yet.. somehow, you see your friends even less than you did when your life was a hectic craze? and then when you don't see them, it's kinda funny how things can turn awkward so quickly... not "awkward," exactly.. but.. just.. different i guess.. i dunno.. i guess it's just something i was thinking about.. you miss the person.. and you desperately try to find times to see that person.. just so that things can go back to the way they were.. because THAT's the way you liked them.. i guess i'm just writing about the obvious here..

another thing.. as the year comes to a close.. i'm starting to think about my going to japan.. oh.. for those who don't know, i'm going to japan for 2 months this summer to learn japanese.. i;m staying with some japanese family whom i've never met before.. and well... it's gonna be scary.. this is partly due to the fact that my parents have this dream that i will one day be fluent in 5 languages.. so far, i have korean, english, and spanish (for the most part).... japanese is supposed to be my fourth.. god knows what my fifth will be. My dad wants it to be chinese.. HA! like i'll EVER be able to master chinese..well as i was saying.. i'm starting to think about my going to japan.. and my staying there for 2 months.. it's gonna be really scary.. at least i think it's gonna be really scary.. originally, i thought there were going to be more people i know who were going to be there at the same time as me.. but turns out that none of them are going till september. that leaves me in a country whose language i know nothing of...with not a single person i know. i dunno.. freaks me out i guess.. also.. being away in japan for 2 months means.. no ...well.. john for 2 months.. i know it kinda sounds pathetic.. but well.. it's gonna be ...aCk forget it.. i'm just gonna miss him a lot.. spring break, i didn't see him for a week and that seemed like a year.. i wonder what 2 months is going to feel like..
i've been in a strange country before.. i was in spain a couple years ago for 5 weeks, staying with a Spanish family.. but for some reason, back then, i wasn't so scared.. maybe because i was going with a whole group of kids from the US..
... wish me luck..

these days, i constantly have this strange feeling inside me.. i don't quite know what it is.. i don't even know what emotion goes along with this feeling.. it may be that it's a sad feeling.. but on the other hand.. it may be a happy feeling.. all i kno right now is that it feels funny.. and it's right in my chest.. i don't even know where it's coming from or what brought it about.. i guess it could be the anxiety from the finals i have next week.. but something tells me it's not from the finals that are bothering me.. when i figure it out, i'll tell you.. i wish i had some type of psychoanalyst by my side .. or at least on duty to analyze me whenever i felt the need.. i feel like it'd make my life a whole lot easier.. even if he weren't right most of the time.. haha..

well.. john wants to use his computer now.. and i think he might be getting a little antsy..
god knows i know the feeling when some strange person is sitting at my computer ....
it's not even like there's something i want to do on my computer.. it's just this strange pull ..
computers.. haha.. it's kinda funny how they got to be such a huge part of everyone's lives..
i swear .. even up to the end of highschool..they were never this big..
well..watever.. thass enuff for tonite..

*teEnY*