Heheh here I'm gonna post some funny jokes and cool pranks to do and stuff like that..

Funny Convos

Jokes

"Fly In Da Soup"

In a restaurant, a disgusted customer says: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?

The waiter, after taking a close look says: It looks to me like the breaststroke, Sir.

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"The President''s Puzzle"

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.

"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.

"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.

"How long did it take you?"

"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"

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"Ancient Chinese Torture"

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

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Pranks

Pranks are usually executed by me and Dave. Together we join forces to become The Bash Brothers. Our favorite target is Timmy B...however no one is safe, really. Our pranks and stunts are inspired by MTV's Jackass (kind of destructive and there is usually a video camera in this) and are just an easy way to bring some excitement into our lives in an immature but crazy fun way. In order to make these pranks worthwhile we have to dig in deep and lose all respect for humanity. That's the only way to guarrantee that we will do things the right way.

DECEMBER 2000:
The beginning of everything. Dave, Derek, Rob, and I opened up all the windows in his room and blasted the fan so that he would freeze to death. Tim sleeps in only his whitey tighties so he were hoping he'd pretty much die in his sleep, haha. Then we did stuff like throw nuts at him and spray him with a water sprayer.

FEBRUARY 2001:
Jackass is becoming a college-wide phenomenon, so Tim and I decide to antique people one cold Monday morning. Antique-ing is the act of throwing flour in someone's face while they are sleeping. The victim wakes up startled and finds that their face is totally white. It's a great, great prank and very amusing.

Our first target, at 7am, was Tim's roommate Derek. I held the camera as Tim threw it splat into his face. Next we got my roommate Dan. He choked a little bit on the flour but man was it funny. After Derek's failed attempt on Nate, and aborted missions on Dave and Rob, we eventually got Chris. What a fun morning...

APRIL 2001:
We spent entire month pranking and harrassing Tim. Threw water balloons at him, threw giant sized spitballs at him, hit him, kicked him, anything.

NOVEMBER 7, 2001:
Tim and I antiqued Dave while he was sleeping, at 7am. However I splashed a cup of water on Dave's face and then Tim threw the flour. It was very messy but SO funny. We also got Nate but he wasn't too happy about it at all.

NOVEMBER 2001:
We did other cool stuff, such as poured a mixture of nasty ingredients (scope, soco, spit, eggs, campbells soup, etc) on Tim at his dorm while he was sleeping. We tackled Phil's roomate Chris. We put ceran wrap stuff on our face and chased each other in the hallways. We broke into Roy's room and wrote Roy is Gay with shaving cream on the floor and put gay porn on his desktop. But the coolest thing we did was this..

Larry and I were bored so we decided we would break into Huskie Stadium. Dave and Roy joined us and we just threw a football around. We also knocked down two port-o-potties which was evil as well. We snuck around inside the stadium's lockerroom and stole a couple things. :)

FEBRUARY 2002:
Duct taped Roy's doorway. Another thing we did was Dave and I stacked up like 100 dixie cups filled with water, blocking Roy's doorway so that when he opened the door it would all spill on him.

MARCH 2002:
While Bob was passed out on his bed drunk, Dave and I splashed a cup of water on his face and threw pie at him. Phil captured this AMAZING footage of Bob being hit and it was one of the funniest things that I have ever been a part of. We played the video in slo mo over, and over, and over all night until 5 am..

APRIL 2002:
People on our floor had an anti-prank sentiment so Dave and I toned it down. However we did get some cool footage of Dave tackling Phil at the rec.

APRIL 1, 2003:
While Tim was asleep, at 5 am Dave and I snuck into his room. Dave blasted a foghorn real loud and then I whipped an egg at his face. This gave us the giggles for about an hour, but I did feel bad because I heard Tim wimpering.

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Missions/Challenges