Election Night 2020 Coverage

Latest News:

California Goes to Retina
California's 57 Electoral Votes will go to Indigo Retina, making him the 48th President of the United States of America. He won by 100 electoral votes. It is expected that DeLeon and DiChezzerai will be conceding after recieving final results.

News Flash!

DeLeon Concedes
Satch DeLeon has conceded the race, although his speech doesn't seem to reflect that.

Satch DeLeon:
My friends, thank you. We have won!!

(Cheers, then confusion)

Don't be fooled, friends. We have won California. The media is wrong!

(Total silence. DeLeon lowers his head.)

OK. Yes, it was close. But we lost. I make no apologies however. I ran my campaign the way everyone said I couldn't. I have achieved something I never thought possible: near success. California may have been only a couple thousand votes away from being mine, but I am not bitter. I have squinted my eyes and looked into the icy stare of failure. I will be back, my friends. You can bet on your second home that I will be back for 2024, and then we shall see who wins the great state of California.

(Wild cheers)

To Mr. Retina, congratulations. I wish you luck. I salute you.

(Cheers)

Good night, and God bless America.

DiChezzerai Concedes
Nelson DiChezzerai has conceded the election to Indigo Retina. Here is the transcript from his concession speech.

Nelson DiChezzerai
Firstly, thank you to everyone who made this campaign possible. I couldn't have gotten as far as I did without you, and 97 electoral votes ain't bad.

(Wild cheering)

At least it's better than Zeus's wimpy 62 electoral votes.

(Laughter and applause)

But seriously, I would like to announce something very personal to me. I will be going back to my roots now. No more politics for me.

(Boos)

My friends, I will be doing something that has always brought me happiness: I will finally attempt to achieve my dream of creating the world's largest rubber band ball.

(Cheers, confusion)

The noble rubber band ball record will be broken by me, my friend. Watch out, for soon you will see my smiling face on top of 1, or even 2 giant rubber band balls.

(Mostly confusion)

Sure, you laugh now. Now, I must leave. Thank you all, and God bless America.

Zeus Concedes
15 minutes ago, Zeus conceded the election. He conceded prior to knowing if he would gain California. Below is a transcript of his speech.

Zeus:
My friends, it has been a long campaign. Sure, I came in halfway through and maybe didn't work as hard as the other guys, but I sure gave it my all.

(Cheers and applause)

I would like to thank my wife, Hera. My kids, Hercules...and all the rest. Also, thank you to my press manager Poseidon, and to my campaign advisors Hermes and Aries for all their hard work.

(Cheers and applause)

It seems that California may still be ours.

(Wild cheering)

But that will not be enough.

(Wild boo-ing)

No no, my friends. I would like to extend a hearty congratulations to the winner of California, for I am told that the winner of that state is the winner of the election.

(Boo-ing)

Damnit people, what did I tell you?

(Cheering)

I want you to know that I am not giving up. Zeus will be back in 2024 with new slogans, new ideas, and a new 65 inch television. Good night, and God bless.

(Wild cheering)

How did we get here from there? Check it out at the Campaign Trail Headline Links Page