4 AMHB: H-O

These movies aren't the best of the best, it's true. But they aren't bad. They've got more merits than flaws, and they're worth a look, and maybe even a purchase.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) (New!)
Matchstick Men (2003)
Hulk (2003)
Igby Goes Down (2002)
Men in Black 2 (2002)
Minority Report (2002)
Jurassic Park 3 (2001)
Innerspace (1987)
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(4 AMHB: A-G)
(4 AMHB: P-Z)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

After being sent to the Ministry of Magic for losing control and using magic to literally inflate his arrogant visiting aunt, Harry is off to Hogwarts for Year Three. This time however, a darkness has fallen over the school in the form of the Dementors, the guards of Azkaban Prison. There's a murderer on the loose named Sirius Black (Gary Oldman). Harry soon learns that Sirius is rumored to be heading for Hogwarts, and eventually discovers that he may be Sirius' next victim. A series of events unfold that lead Harry to discover the true nature of his parents' murder, who he can trust, and who he can't. Finally, he begins to realize just how powerful a wizard he really is.

Seeing as I am not a "Harry Potter" aficionado, I could not begin to discuss the differences between the book and the movie. What I've gathered from sources who are HP experts suggest that the movie's treatment of the Marauder's Map could have done with some more explanation. This is, I'm sure, thanks to director Alfonso Cuaron, along with J.K. Rowling, who helped adapt it for the big screen, and Steven Kloves (who wrote the previous HP screenplays, and-random piece of trivia-also wrote the "Wonder Boys" (2000) screenplay).

Mr. Cuaron focused more on making the movie cinematically excellent and left the details to the screenwriters, in my opinion. The feel of this installment is much darker and more foreboding than the previous films, as it should be. For instance, the colors are for the most part dimmer than usual, even during the spring scenes. This creates the appropriate atmosphere.

ll of the old favorites are back and as good as ever, save for Richard Harris. He is sorely missed in this film. We'll just have to get used to Michael Gambon as Albus Dumbledore, I suppose. Gambon does a good job filling some big shoes, and he is a more than acceptable choice for the part. Alan Rickman as the ever-creepy Severus Snape provides some refreshing bits of snappy dialogue. And, by the way, I never thought I'd ever see him in a dress. Notable also is the arrival of Professor Lupin (David Thewlis, who you may remember from "Timeline" (2003)).

Finally, even with all the mystical creatures and special effects and creepiness, my favorite part came in the form of a seemingly improvised scene in which the following bit of dialogue occurs:

Ron (waking up from a nightmare, mumbling): Spiders, they're making me tap dance. I don't want to tap dance.
Harry : You tell those spiders, Ron.
Ron : Tell them. Yeah, I'll tell them.
(Ron lays back down, goes to sleep)

Matchstick Men (2003)

Roy Waller (Nicholas Cage) and his partner Frank (Sam Rockwell) are con artists. Roy is also an obsessive-compulsive phobic. These two men work very nicely together, and they've got a huge job in the works when Angela (Alison Lohman), Roy's teenage daughter, comes back into Roy's life. Now Roy's got to learn how to be a father without bungling the lucrative swindle that's about to go down, but he's about to get more than he's bargained for, including a chance at a better life.

I'll be honest, and you can disagree with me all you'd like, but I was only vaguely impressed with Matchstick Men. There were some great parts, don't get me wrong, but a movie should maintain its overall excellence in between its finer moments. While I was watching it, I was thoroughly entertained, but at some parts, I felt restless, as if the plot could move faster. The last half-hour was relatively fast-paced, but too little too late, in my opinion.

Don't get me wrong, though. The characters were interesting, especially Roy, and the acting was up to par. The directing was what I've come to expect from Ridley Scott. The writing was very good, despite the slow parts. Those great moments I talked about along with Nicholas Cage's performance were enough to garner this film 4 AMHB.

Another thing I liked about the movie was that it didn't become "3 Men and a Little Lady" without the third man and with a teenager. It was a comedy but it dealt with emotions and did it while still being funny.

On a side note, this is in part a caper film, and as such I expected a jazzy soundtrack. The soundtrack was not jazzy per se, but it did have a style all its own. It was comprised of old songs from the '40s and '50s, and for no apparent reason, a random Kid Rock song that is played more than once. A strange musical choice by Ridley Scott, but tolerable in the small doses that it came in.

You should see this movie to judge for yourself. It's worth a look. I'll never hear or see the words "Uuhhhh.uhhhh" the same again. Also, much kudos to the convenience store cashier in the final minute of the film. You were truly a highlight of the "Matchstick Men" experience. Thank you, and good night.

Hulk (2003)

Ang Lee ("Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon") presents another Stan Lee comic book hero, proving once again that you can never have too many Lees attached to a project. This movie, about the scientist Bruce Banner and his girlfriend Betty (Jennifer Connelly of "A Beautiful Mind" (2001) fame). Bruce and Jenny are testing to see if nanotechnology can heal frogs after they've been hit with intense gamma radiation. Because, as everyone knows, frogs and gamma radiation often cross paths, to the detriment of mankind. One day, an accident occurs, and Bruce is hit with a lethal blast of gamma rays. It should kill him, but it doesn't. Now, whenever he gets angry, he becomes the Hulk, a large strong green computer-generated man. He finds out eventually why he was not killed due to the radiation, and makes an enemy out of Betty's father, who happens to be a general. There are other surprises involving Nick Nolte. Can Bruce learn to control his bottled-up rage and make the world accept him? I suggest you go and find out.

As far as visual effects go, the movie was very exciting. The initial complaints about the movie's computer-generated Hulk were due largely to people who had downloaded an illegal screening version of the movie. The online criticism eventually led the studio to rework the Hulk scenes, making them more realistic. This was to the audience's benefit, because the Hulk looks about as real as you can make CGI look in this day and age.

But the CGI is not the only thing that sets the movie apart visually. Ang Lee employs a plethora of close-ups, wide shots, and freeze-frames to make the movie look like it's straight out of a comic book. However, the most powerful visual trademark that Lee uses to make the movie unique is splitscreens. When the screen is split, it's like looking at a page right out of an issue of "The Hulk". "Splitscreens to tell a story," you say, "haven't I seen that somewhere before?". Why yes, if you've ever watched the Fox suspense/drama "24". "24" was the first series to employ splitscreens exclusively as a visual method of continuing the plot. "Hulk" is the first movie that I know of to do the same. However, Mr. Lee takes it to the next level. During several action scenes, most especially a sequence where the Hulk is escaping, Lee flashes several splitscreens before the audience. These action-filled screens are hard to follow, and several viewings will probably be necessary to absorb all the things going on during just that one sequence. However, it was a smart way of creating a style for the movie, and I commend Ang Lee for that.

But was the movie good? It was a 2 and a half hour movie that could have been told in 1 and a half hours. You do the math. However, it was worth it. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as I expected it to be going in. I'd go to see it again, simply for the entertainment value. So to all the critics I say, you're making me angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Igby Goes Down (2002)

He Certainly Does
A Review of "Igby Goes Down" by Indigo Retina

It's "Catcher in the Rye" meets "Royal Tenenbaums" with some "Cruel Intentions" thrown in for good measure in this semi-stylized drama about a teenage boy named Igby (Kieran Culkin), his mother (Susan Sarandon), his brother Oliver (Ryan Philippe), his mentally gone father (The esteemed Bill Pullman), and his billionaire "uncle" (Jeff Goldblum).

If you've ever read "Catcher in the Rye", you know the basic plot of "Igby Goes Down". After Igby, who has failed out of every prestigious private school in his geographical region, is sent to military school and fails out of there too. Unhappy with his family life, perpetually in the shadow of his older brother Oliver, spiteful about his mother's attitude towards him, and with the knowledge of his father's debilitating mental breakdown, Igby decides to get away from it all. So, while he is being escorted to the last private school on the Eastern Seaboard that hasn't flunked him out, he escapes and heads for an apartment that he helped the billionaire uncle build. There, Jeff Goldblum's daughter is staying with a performance artist. She agrees to let him stay, as long as Jeff Goldblum never finds out. He then meets up with Sookie, a catering girl he met at one of Jeff Goldblum's cocktail parties. Through a series of confusing events, Igby has sex with both Rachel and Sookie, and moves up his plans to go to California jwith Sookie. However, Jeff Goldblum and subsequently Oliver finds out and goes to retrieve Igby. Can there be a happy ending in this drama? Go and see it!

Does the obvious connection to "Catcher in the Rye" detract from this movie? It's hard to say. Certainly it isn't enough like "Catcher in the Rye" for J.D. Salinger's estate to get all huffy, but it is certainly the very basis for the movie's plot. Now for the stylization: good or bad? By stylization, I mean that every element in the film is done to create a tiny little universe within the movie. This facilitates events by adding immensely to character development. The problem with stylization is that it has to be done properly in order to not come off as forced. I think the writer and director of "Igby Goes Down" were able to do this with some success. Certainly the universe in which Igby lives is not ours. In his universe, people are more clever, their words are more carefully chosen, and Jeff Goldblum is a suave billionaire.

Cinematic plot devices aside, the movie is only a bit self-aware. I'm not talking about the actors. Kieran Culkin, Jeff Goldblum, Claire Danes, Bill Pullman, the whole thing is very well-acted. Hell, even Ryan Philippe is acceptable. His theory that every character he plays must talk like he is bored with existence might not work in every movie, but he pulls it off in this one somehow. Don't ask how. Maybe I'm just getting lenient in my old age.

So, go see "Igby Goes Down". I dare ya'.

Men in Black 2 (2002)

Premise:
Assuming that you know all about Men In Black (1997), I'm going to just continue with the story without much explanation of how things happen and such. If you haven't seen the original Men in Black, that is your fault.

It's 5 years later, and Agent Jay (Will Smith) just can't keep a partner in MIB. He's neuralized at least 2 of them, including Linda Florentino (Agent L) and Patrick Warburton (Agent Tee), who we see as Jay's partner in the beginning. Zed (Rip Torn) assigns Frank the Pug (Himself) as his partner and tells Jay to find out what happened at a pizza parlor where a man's skin was ripped off.

It turns out that an alien named Serleena (Lara Flynn Boyle), a plant-based life form who can take the shape of anything she wants, comes to Earth and assumes the form of a lingerie model. She is wholly evil and gets a guy with 2 heads to help her find the Light of Zartha, a nondescript.umm.thing with power and stuff. People from another planet brought it to Earth back in 1978 hoping that the MIB would protect it on Earth, but that isn't MIB protocol. It would put the Earth in danger. Well, now it's a race to find the Light of Zartha and the only one who knows where it might be is--you guessed it--Agent Kay (Tommy Lee Jones). Kay's now a postal service worker who knows that there's something more to the universe than just Earth. Locked inside his brain is the location of the Light. Meanwhile, Jay falls in love with the witness of the pizza parlor de-skinning named Rita (Rosario Dawson). With MIB in lockdown and Kay's brain working off outdated software, can Jay and Kay save the Earth from Serleena and the Light? And what of those mischievous Worms? What of Jeff!? Go and find out.

Comments:
The main problem with the bad reviews of this movie that have been given is that every critic bases it on the original, when in fact it is much better than other sequels that franchises have been started on. Jackson Brody likens MIB2 to Ghostbusters 2, in that it's the genre of sci-fi/comedy at it's best, but some cinematically embarrassing moments occur. Fuv Ma' Poppin' has likened MIB2 to Zoolander, where all the funny lines are in the trailer (But entertaining overall), but that's OK, because Fuv doesn't write the reviews, at least not as a general rule. (Just joshing ya', Fuv ol' boy)

If only these critics could see that as a sequel it isn't that bad, and as a summer movie it sure as hell isn't that bad. I know I've been lenient on films for a while, but I honestly think that if this film has one redeeming quality, it is heart. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith turn in their usually great performances, and the message is there. The movie delves deeper into what it is to be an MIB agent, indeed what it is to be human. The aliens add a juxtaposition to the humans' way of life. And, as I've said, the main message of the flick is nicely done.

To those critics of this movie I say, at least this film has a message! So many movies these days rely so heavily on special effects and big star names that the message is lost in the explosions and car chases. This film has explosions, car chases, big star names, special effects, AND a message. All in an 82 minute film, so lay off MIB2 and start picking on summer blockbusters your own size.
People are going to go to see MIB2 whether you give it a bad review or not, so shut your piehole Harry Knowles!

And Patrick Warburton is comedic gold and should be given his own section in the Pentagon. We could call it the Department of Warburton.

Which brings me to my own criticisms. They are small, and do not take away from the enjoyment factor of the film, which is really quite high.

Firstly, and most importantly, we never find out what the Light of Zartha is supposed to do. We know that the one group of aliens had it, and that Serleena wanted it, but other than that I don't see what it was for. Also, in the form that the film presents the Light, it is hard to see how it would fit into any major scheme. You might say, "Well, that's a big criticism there." I guess it is, but at least I'm not taking pot shots at Will Smith's Philly accent.

Secondly, the film seemed rushed. I don't know how long the first MIB was, but I think 82 minutes is sorta short for what they wanted to get accomplished. Many very playable villain options for Serleena are lost. She is a threat to MIB, but not so much so that she lives up to the bug in the first one. One of the goals of a sequel is to up the anty with a tougher villain. Serleena is tough, but her goals are unclear and her powers are unfocused. Those are my only criticisms.

Once again, I say that the enjoyment factor of MIB2 is very high, and I recommend it for those long summer days where nothing seems to be getting accomplished. The cameos alone are worth the price of admission, and Jay's unique neuralization style is worth that large popcorn you bought, you tubby American you!

Favorite Lines:
Jay: Whoo, flushing man. You used to love to be flushed man. Saturday nights, man, you used to say to me, you'd say "Jay, flush me, man, flush me" and I'd be like.."Nah"

Alien (Picking Agent Jay up): Let's bend him!
Jay: Oh, no let's not bend him!

Worms: Once you've had worm, it's what you'll yearn!

Jay: Let's put it on.
Kevin Brown/Agent K: What?
Jay: The last suit you'll ever wear...again.

Minority Report (2002)

Premise:
John Anderton (Tom Cruise), is a police chief at the Department of Precrime, a government organization based in Washington, D.C. that can stop murders before they happen. This organization has been tested successfully for the past 6 years without a single murder. However, all that's about to change. You see, John Anderton suddenly has a lot to worry about. For one, a detective named Ed Witwer (Colin Farrell) has been ordered by the Attorney General to look for flaws in the system before Precrime goes national. In addition, the most talented of his three "precogs" ("Precognitives", or "knowing before" They are what make precrime possible.) has been having worse and worse nightmares lately, he misses the son that he lost 6 years ago at a public pool, and on top of all that, he has just found out that in less than 36 hours, he is going to kill a man he doesn't even know yet. Fearing what will happen to him if he's caught by his own police officers, he sets out to prove his innocence.

This leads him to the case of Anne Lively, a woman with a minority report--an alternate future than the one predicted by two of the less-skilled precogs. Full of hope, John sets out looking to find his own minority report, if he has one. Little does he know that events have already been set in motion by an outside source conspiring to keep precrime from John's control when it goes national. Can he prove his innocence while at the same time staying away from the law in a high-tech society where computers know where you are at all times? Geez, don't ask me, I don't know everything!

Comments:
Steven Spielberg, you little dastard. Fresh off your "success" with "A.I." last summer, you come back with "Minority Report". Well, I commend you sir. Who would have thought that something written by Phillip K. Dick would have outdone anything ever started by Stanley Kubrick as far as sci-fi goes.

All talking to a director that will never come to this site aside, the movie is all about the sci-fi. I was amazed by the concepts explored in this movie. Genetic enhancement, holograms, transparent data containers (glass CD-ROMs), magnetic automated cars, personalized advertising, biographics, and even eye transplants. That's only some of the gadgets and technologies available in this movie. For a nerd like me, these things are well appreciated. In addition, the plot is strong, and while my movie-going instincts helped cushion the blow of any plot twists or searing revelations, they were smart and overall entertaining. I am also happy to report that Tom Cruise does not suck in this flick, even though he has a lot of screen time. Write this down, kiddos, because it's not likely that I'll praise Tom Cruise again, unless maybe he's good in "Vanilla Sky", which I plan to see as of this date. So, to recap, strong sci-fi, strong plot (given the rules that the screenwriters set up), good Tom Cruise overall.

Everything's perfect, right? Not quite. There are some holes. I said Tom Cruise was good overall, but there were some parts where he seemed like he'd just read the script 5 minutes before shooting. He seemed to balance himself out in subsequent scenes, but this isn't as good as having a strong performance throughout the film.

Then there is the singular plot hole that I can see. The entire film, we are led to believe that at some point we will discover who killed John Anderton's son. A big deal is made of this. I mean, we're told the wife divorced him because he reminded her of her son too much, there's references to his death maybe every 5 minutes in the film. In the end however, we do not find out who really killed John's son Sean. Maybe I missed something, but that should have been more clear.

Oh, and Spielberg does his trademark ending, therefore selling out on the cool ending that could have been done.

Overall, I enjoyed it, but upon thinking of the movie in retrospect, I became frustrated. The ending is disappointing and its narration is out of place. In an otherwise great movie, this final 2 minutes is a cop-out, and I cannot condone that.

The good news is that Spielberg is better at sci-fi working with his own vision as opposed to that of another person. Overall it was entertaining. I enjoyed it and wouldn't mind going back to see it to pick up some of the other details that existed. The story held my attention, and I'd recommend it. Good job, Spielberg, but I'm keeping my eye on you.

Favorite Lines:
Transplant Doctor: Why do you want to keep your current eyes?
John Anderton: .Because my mother gave them to me.
Lamar Burgess: Shhh, shhh, shhh. Listen. Do you know what I hear? Nothing. No footsteps coming up the stairs, no hovercraft outside, no clickety-click of spiders. Do you know why? Because right now those Pre-Cogs can't see a thing.

Lycon: [to John Anderton] In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

[John rolls a ball across the transparent computer console that acts as the 'scrubbing' surface. Before it falls off, Witwer catches it.]
John Anderton: Why'd you catch that?
Ed Witwer: Because it was going to fall.
John Anderton: You sure?
Ed Witwer: Yeah.
John Anderton: But it didn't. Because you caught it. The fact that you prevented it from happening doesn't change the fact that it was going to happen.

Jurassic Park 3 (2001)

Premise:

Little Eric Kirby has gone missing after paragliding near the "Restricted" island of Isla Sorna, the second dinosaur breeding lab off the coast of Costa Rica. Meanwhile, Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) is low on research money and so is forced to accept the offer to accomapnny businessman Paul Kirby and his wife on a low-flying excursion over the second island. However, a slight plane crash gets in the way of their plans, and it is soon discovered that this landing is an attempt to find Eric. It is also discovered that Mr. Kirby is not a rich businessman, but actually the middle-class owner of Kirby Paint & Tile Plus (the "Plus" being Bathroom fixtures). Now it becomes a desperate run for the coast with Dr. Grant and Eric leading the way, with William H. Macy along for the ride. The raptors are back, and more intelligent than ever, able to communicate amongst themselves and coordinate attacks with a complex series of squeals and growls. Will they survive? Find out yourself.

Comments:

I liked it. I thought it was well worth my time and money. Some funny parts were scattered through it, and if it was good for one thing, it was to redeem the Jurassic Park franchise after "Lost World". The plot concerning the raptor eggs was clever, and Sam Neill does an excellent job reprising his role of Dr. Alan Grant, a no-nonsense dinosaur expert stuck with the unlikely situation of gaining much-needed research money from an eccentric entrepeneur. The dinosaurs are cool as well, and the plot was acceptable, although the whole "getting off the island" thing is a little overdone. It does leave it wide open for another sequel, so can you say "Jurassic Park 4, 5 AND 6"?

Favorite Lines:

"It's gonna be great!" - Barney the Dinosaur in a cameo appearance on a television set.

"Great. We're stuck getting off of this island and we're not even getting paid for it." - Dr. Grant.
"Hey, I plan to pay you every cent, and if you ever need a bathroom fixture, I'm your man" - Paul Kirby

"Bad...talking...dinosaur" - Jeff Goldblum (Wait, that isn't in the movie!)

Innerspace (1987)

Premise:

Lieutenant Tuck Pendleton is a hot-shot test pilot. When he's chosen to perform a test for VectorScope Laboratories, a lab on the brink of Miniaturization (the process of shrinking things down while maintaining an aspect ratio between original size and shrunken size of the atoms. For more information, see "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" and "Fantastic Voyage"). They've perfected the process by using 2 chips: 1 for miniaturization (in the object to be shrunk) and 1 for re-enlargement. The plan is to shrink a submersible pod down and inject it into a bunny to see if the pod can make audio and visual contact with the host organism. Unfortunately, a major security breach leaves scientist Ozzie running for his life. In desperation, Ozzie injects Tuck into the nearest person around. That happens to be Jack Putter (Martin Short), a mild-mannered SafeWay clerk.

Jack's in over his head, which contains Tuck. Tuck attaches the audio and visual detectors to Jack's eye and ear and starts talking to him. Jack thinks he's possessed and goes to the doctor. Tuck soon explains the situation, and they go to VectorScope for help. Unfortunately, the chip to re-enlarge Tuck has been stolen, and the scientists can't help Tuck because they don't have duplicates. Jack and Tuck take off and find Lydia (Meg Ryan), Tuck's ex-girlfriend. Lydia is a reporter and has been following a Western technology dealer called "The Cowboy", who has come to the U.S. for the miniaturization tech. Victor Scrimshaw, a rich guy, is the evil guy behind the robbery at VectorScope.

Through a series of action sequences, some clever plot twists, and some hilarity, Tuck gets re-enlarged just in time and all live as happily ever after as is humanly possible, but is it the end?

Comments:

All the actors in this film are very good and they all get my approval. The story is clever, and never really falls flat. There's always something happening, whether it''s Tuck's increasingly desperate situation or the sexual tension between Lydia and Jack while Tuck is still around. It's just a good all-around movie, and the sci-fi elements are fantastic.

Favorite Lines:

Jack: No pain. Don't cause an embellism or an aneurism, or sever my spinal cord and then go "Oh, sorry"

Tuck: The Tuck Pendleton machine: Zero defects.

Scrimshaw: Nuclear weapons Jack. Nuclear weapons are useless. Everyone has them, and no one has the balls to use them. Space, you say? Space is a flop, Jack. Didn't you know that? An endless void of floating debris. But ah, miniaturization Jack! That's the ticket!

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