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Nelson
News Network
For Nelson's third news correspondence, he brings us his opinion on: "Oscars 2002...Damnit." Yeah, so the Oscars were on.Whoopie! Oh double meaning! Take that, Goldberg! I used your first name as an interjection, at the END of a sentence!! (evil laughter) Yeah, where was I? Oh, yeah, the Oscars. Oh man, the Oscars. Boy do I have some things to say about those Oscars. Let's start at the front-runners. There was "Lord of The Rings: Fellowship of the Ring", and "A Beautiful Mind" and uhh.a few other ones everyone knew were good. They were nominated for like a million different things. And everyone knew they were going to win all the big nominations like Best Actor and Best Supporting and all that jazz..except they didn't. They did win a few, but not what people expected. This is how I see it. Everyone was pissing and moaning saying, "Ohhh, the same people win over and over and no other movies had a chance." And Entertainment Weekly was all like "This has 40% chance" and "That has 10% chance", with a "no scientific basis" scrolling across the bottom of the screen. But everyone believed it and got kinda whiny. So I think the Academy Awards people were like "Oh shit after 74 years they figured us out" and they just threw some movies in a hat and started pulling them out. Oh very clever Oscar people. And I had you figured out last year too! Last year they were like "Oh shit, after 73 years they figured us out" so they hired some black dude to steal all the little gold bald guys. Until they were found and then they acted all "Oh thank you so much for finding the awards.(muttering) you douche bag." So let's recap on what I said. The
people were angry because they knew who was going to win, but then the
movies didn't win as big, and guess what happened?! They got angry! Oh
big surprise, there humanity. If you don't watch out, I'll use your
name as an interjection at the end of the sentence! I heard comments
like "Beautiful Mind got robbed" and "Lord of the Rings was overlooked"
and "Russell Crowe was beaten out by race" and "Whoopie Goldberg is a dyke".well..
anyway I don't understand why they are getting all angry anyways.
"Lord of the Rings"
"A Beautiful Mind"
"In the Bedroom"
"Monster's Ball"
"Moulin Rouge"
These may be a little crazy but, hey that's pretty much it. Then there was all the tributes and what not. Spike Lee was seen on camera at the Oscars. There's his moment to shine. I don't know about you but I was waiting for him to shout out "BLACK RAGE, TAKE THAT WHITE PEOPLE!" I could see it in his eyes. Well at least "A Beautiful Mind" DID win Best Picture and Best Director. Man us comic book, sarcastic, longhaired, greasy types just don't get no respect.yes I'm describing Alf. I mean the Director of Lord of The Rings. I can't get that DAMN song out of my head.that's right you know it. THESE HAPPY DAYS ARE YOURS AND MINE HAPPY DAYS! RON HOWARD YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!:: Shot of Ron jumping into the air, clicking heels, with big bags with little money symbols on them: :: Damn..HUMANITY! Shocked? Appalled? Go back to the Nelson News Network Main Page! Do you have an rebuttal to Mr. DiChezzerai's argument? Send it to indigoretina@yahoo.com and we'll put it up on the site.
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