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Updated 10/17/01
Campaign Headlines:

Major Development:
Panama Becomes a US State


Retina knows who his opponents will be. Their names are:
 
Nelson DiChezzerai
Blinky Blinky Wicky Wacky Party Candidate

Zeus
Deity Party Candidate

Satch DeLeon
Tragically Hip Party Candidate


Picky McNotuse:
BBWW Party VP Candidate

Deity Party VP Candidate
Artie The Strongest Man in the World

Scruff McGruff:
Tragically Hip Party Candidate


Electoral College--10/05/2020

Updated Electoral College as of 10/17/2020
As you can see, Indigo Retina has a strong following in the Great Plains and Midwest, and his holding of Texas ensures a strong second half of the campaign for him.

The electoral vote totals will be as such for this week of the campaign in 2020:

Indigo Retina 151 (formerly 160)
Satch DeLeon 122 (formerly 113)
Nelson DiChezzerai 148 (formerly 166)
Zeus 83 (unchanged since last week)
Too Close to Call 51 (Wisconsin, Illinois, Connecticut, Tennessee, Iowa, 
Minnesota, North Carolina)

The popular vote for this week in 2020 will be as such:

Indigo Retina 36% (formerly 35%)
Satch DeLeon 28% (formerly 27%)
Nelson DiChezzerai 28% (formerly 29%)
Zeus 4%
Undecided 4%

Campaign Headlines:
Panama Enters Electoral College
First to Gain Statehood Since 1959
The citizens of Panama, a US territory since 2011, have voted to become a U.S. state. The Congress quickly ratified the statehood of Panama, following the expectations of many political experts and pundits alike. "This marks a major partisan attempt at electoral success", Senate Minority Leader Antonio Atacan said on Sunday, "The less-powerful parts of this Congress are not happy about it, needless to say. But you can find out all about it at my award-winning website."

Despite the constant attempts at talking to Antonio Atacan's top aides, this reporter was unable to find out the address of Antonio Atacan's award-winning website.


Panama's Proposed State Flag

    Panama's population of 4 million people, double that of 20 years ago, constitutes 9 Electoral votes. This is an important boost to DeLeon, who trailed in the Electoral College by 47 Electoral votes last week, behind his closest major opponents: Indigo Retina and Nelson DiChezzerai. It has also added to the already insane nature of the campaign so far.

"We've got a bit of a pool going in the office over who will be ahead in the (Electoral) College next week," Drew Porter of the Huntsville Times, "I've got 20 bucks riding on Retina"

In further election news, more states swung into the "Too close to call" column earlier this week, mostly due to an increasing amount of campaign stops by Satch DeLeon in the "border states": those states which are next to another opponent's state. The states of Minnesota, Iowa, Tennessee, and North Carolina (2 states each for Retina and DiChezzerai) are the "border states" that succumbed to DeLeon pressure. By far, the most hard-hitting of these was the loss of Tennessee's 12 electoral votes by DiChezzerai, who fell to second place due to the loss.

When asked for comment, Indigo Retina made this statement: "I've learned in this campaign that just because you're ahead one week does not mean you'll be ahead the next. May the best man win"

This statement precedes the major week of televised debates which will take place before the election. Stay tuned for those.

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