You do indeed get all the drama. W i l l gets the comedies, and you get the drama.
Josh: So when are you ladies coming over here and giving me some...
I think we should hex them. Boils on their... equipment. That's it! Let them explain *that* one to their family doctors! Ha!
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of a baking oven. Your profession was that of Pillsbury Doughboy. Your brief psychological profile in your past life: Beaming personality, optimistic, highly cheerful, people liked to poke you in your belly... Hehe! Okay, I'm being silly (Obviously).
The Pillsbury Doughboy? Should I even ask? I bet next time you'll tell us that another one of your past lives was the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man.
Unless it involves being a psychotic murderer, I'm not buying into it. Jack. The. Ripper.
I could never turn into Karen ..I think Queenie would murder me :-)
Keri: You make no sense, Julie... lol
And well, if nothing I say will convince you, would a death threat work?
You went out, alright, but shopping for CD's, lipshit and milky-whatnot and no book?
Hmm... I took the Inner Rock Star test, and it says that I'm Britney Spears. Should I be concerned?
(BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD:) after answering the call of nature.
Yes, reading is very important to the Goddess... and well, you're not a faithful follower if you can't follow her rules. Hehe.
Come on, just one little itsy bitsy easy-to-read book, Keri-girl! You can do it! Do it for me. Make this your one 'sacrifice' to appease the Goddess in me. Hmm? Tell you what, you read the books, and I'll keep you out of Depends for bladder-issued old-folks.
Keri: JULIE wants to be like me.
Demons of life--you see them, they strike, you bleed, then you fight. Life continues. :D
*laughs* Right, just don't tell her, what she don't know, won't get you into trouble.
Natalie will never be in your bed to sleep. Why? Because that girl can sleep anywhere, sex, on the otherhand, requires a non-slothlike partner.
Julie: Know what I just realized? Queenie and I have the same past life!
He really needs to get off his little derriere and READ the Harry Potter books. Really, doesn't he know that sloth is one of the 7 deadly sins?
I. Win.
Give in. There's no point in fighting the will of the GODDESS.
Julie: Keri wants to touch me ....she thinks I'm sexy. She wants to date me.
Anya: Just doing my public duties as a online Goddess. Heh.
Us? Entertaining? Don't be silly.
*laughs* The homeland? What the heck? You make it sound like we still use covered wagons or something.
There's my good little "I'm reading the !@#$% book, now leave me alone" Keri!
Yes, we shall both update that week when Anya's gone. She'll come back all happy happy joy joy then we'll bring her back down to earth with our updating. Oh, I can see it now.. She'll be most upset.. unless she had an extremely good time in Jamaica with a cabana boy.
How much weight can the threat/promise of a woman whose Prison Bitch Name is The Sugar Plum Fairy, and whose evil high priestess is Twinkle Toes, carry? Yeah, that really strikes fear in the hearts of the masses.
"Yeah, yeah." The girl, plopped down on Hilda's bed, face in a frown. "I'm the f***in' Sugar Plum Fairy, here to brighten your day and make the world shiny and wonderous." The girl snarled. "New world, new rules, Hilda. I'm the Queen Bitch, and you'll do bloody well to keep outta my way. I'm taking the top bunk, I'm not playing your maid, and I like my tea with one teaspoon of sugar and a dash of milk. Forget any of that, and the next time you try to urinate, you'll be able to do it with a freaking pipe up your tract. Got it?"
Funny how when we start to find what makes us most happy--find our space, our niche--suddenly we're having problems with our families or ppl who knew us when we were miserable.
Julie: ohh yeah. but i've been good and haven't mentioned the bondage weekend. oops
Damn straight. I'm a bitch, but I'm a really Great Bitch.
As for the rest of you, I've been bored at work. And none of you are amusing me, dammit!
You know, I think we've been lucky that a 'normal' person hasn't looked at yours and Karen's quote pages. I think they might have looked all of us up and have us comitted ..or possibly burned at the stake :-)
BUT. Yes, there's a but. (There's a butt too, but I hope it's not too big. I'm only 5'0" here, people.)
Josh: yeah, get your butts over here and do your womanly duties...
*sigh* One day, you'll do wild and crazy, and I'll likely have a heart-attack from the pure shock.
W i l l: Do you have an account at juicyjulie@msn.com? And did you send me an e-mail with the subject line: "Do Me Baby!"? Actually, I think it was spam. I hope that's what it was...
That's what I told her. She too could join our "tempt the goddess to kill us" club.
lol I love you Ms. I'm half of the KeriJulie
I'm playing online games tonight. Rather fun. It's the "answer everything Karen says with the childish question of 'why?'" game.
Julie: Are we back to talking about Josh's disgusting feet again?
Yes my darling, there ARE Harry Potter books. Entire volumes about this boy whose potentially more... novel than you! Can you imagine? A challenge to your uniqueness.
lol they just don't expect this sort of thing from you. From me, yes. From you, definately not :-)
(Smiling / Laughing:) laughing... it's a verbal smile.
Anya's Paying Full Attention. And, I'll have net access while I'm gone. So, little RT, don't get your hopes up.
A perfect kiss is: Hershey's. :-) Chocolate never hurts you.
I vote that Queenie should cut the board soon and get rid of all the somber posts and move on to ...prison bitch names? ::shakes head:: You're weird Ker :) I just want to fill you guys in on what's happened since and then I can move on, although I refuse to find out my prison bitch name. There are some things that even I won't do :)
I don't make threats. I make promises.
In the dark of the evening,
Be wary of harm done
Stir not the quiesent Goddess
Death creeps forth in literary form.
You. Have. Been. Warned.
Hehe... You're right, I think I did double or triple the damage in quoting last week. But notice she was more into killing you in her poem than me??
Good Lord Keri! Girl, when will the drama end!? *laugh*
Young and Spry? Dear boy, I am Young. And very Spry. But since I don't rob cradles, you and your peers will never find out how spry I am... :)
People are FLAKES, you know that? Flakes flakes flakes. Not the corn kind either.
Anyway, it's gonna be a (excuse my potential miss-spell...) kanji tattoo for a single word. One representational of my faith and ego. Yup. "Goddess".
Julie: And I've been really anti-social lately ..if you call not wanting to turn on AIM being anti-social ..and I do ...and I've got issues if that's me being anti-social *g* Oh Lord. I'm a basketcase!
Sara: *grumble* I guess.
Oh, Keri... I had a nice chat with our resident Goddess this morning. You're in heaps of trouble.
Oopsy. I think I broke Keri!
What I've realized is that when a stranger dies it reminds everyone of their mortality, and we all have different ways of responding to it. Some of us cry, some don't want to think about it, and try to distract themselves with activity or whatnot. But when someone close dies, at times we're so shocked that it happened to us, we don't even know where to begin to even think about what happened. At least this is MHO. It's easier to take in when it's someone we don't know, cuz we're not that close to them, but when it's someone we know, sometimes---I think---it's more of a shock, and who knows how long that shock will last? could be a day, could be years.
Julie: lol i'll have to look ..i recorded it just in case i wasn't home to watch it :-)
What I've learned this month:
I also wanted to say good-on-ya (the Aussie way of saying good job) for aspiring to stretch yourself in some areas while your family was gone. How has it been going? Have you worn the 'Cutie' shirt yet? How about the parallel parking and new ice cream flavors? How did LAX go? Hey- maybe by the time I get back to CA you'll be able to have a new meal at Olive Garden! Ohhhh- that was a low blow- sorry! (sort-of :o)
*grin* you know, i really should make a page of keri and julie quotes :-) and have the whole world wondering if we're having an affair
Anya: Hey Karen & Queenie: Have a *great* Bus Trip! :) (No, I'm not being sarcastic. WHY would you think that of ME?!)
Keri: I am tellin' Sara about your porn. LOL
The world would be a much friendlier place if there were no such things as families. And children.
Anya would corrupt a celibate monkey.
Damn straight. I'm a bitch, but I'm a really Great Bitch.
my language is very colorful and inventive *grin* Snaps, kudos, props, congrats ...anything but the normal English language will work :)
PS -- I hope your brain freeze is on its way to thawing out.
Just because I was bored, I read over some old Quotes at Keri's page. I just like to check stats, you see, ensure I'm not being ridiculously overquoted.
Keri: *smirk* Whatever you say, I think you're smokin' something right now. ;)
Karen: And yes, I'm glad to see I'm not really crazy about spilling my
Do I give off a comshuck me vibe?
Kin blinked. Lifted his hands, rubbed his eyes furiously and blinked again. Nope, it was still the same image as before. "I think somebody's made a mistake." He muttered.
"No mistake, Kin." The gentle old woman smiled, letting the wide gap of missing teeth show clearly. Her weathered wrinkled face held aeons of age and wisdom, but it was her stained robes and the clear outlines of diapers that dismayed Kin the most. "I'm back. I've been released from my tenure and training."
"Uh huh." Kin nodded. "Look, lady... I appreciate the fact that you're clearly loco... but Keri, the Bard and Amazon would-be-Queen, she's about 18, pretty hair, youngish skin... no bladder control issues."
You'll be happy to note that there is no quote page on my website (and there never will be because that would require me to *gasp* update it).
Julie: LOL everyone just wants to use me for sex. Dillon wants phone sex, you want cyber sex ...I'm not a machine dammit! ;-)
Josh: I'm on PMS!
Keri: *laughs* What? You're my creative girl. She who is creative. In all her creativeness.
See, that's the part of ex-friends or ex-anything that hurts the most. It's one thing when someone's a jerk and they continue to be a jerk - you always have that ick with them. But when you have good, special memories and then they become a jerk - it's harder.
lol I know, I know :-) At least now you're becoming known as kinky too ...it used to just be me! They would never blame you ..nope. Not Keri. She's too innocent... ha! Innocent Josh's foot!
I love you. But, please, don't help me. Please? Thanks. *smooch* (In a platonic girlie way.)
Although you said not to help, here's me defying the Goddess.
I'm a wonderland toy :-)
Anya: Right now, I just want them out of my life. Completely. Gone. D.E.A.D.
She's on my list!
Ending this before it becomes a graphic novel (© Keri)
Okay, I've recanted... Help me! Even if when you play on my side, you manage to take all my great ideas and burst the bubbles.
It's tough leaving friends even friendships gone sour so as to become toxic, but it's worth it in the end because no matter how sad it is, it's even sadder to stay and be pulled down.
Julie: lol ohh keri ..even in diapers you're still cute :-)
The Big Bad is Watching.
---Anya refering to herself
---Karen to me
ALOE VERA?
Julie: Ohhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Keri: *laughs* Look at Josh pimpin
Josh: I know you two would put lotion on my....
Julie: nose.
Josh: FEET...
---Josh, Julie, and I in an AIM convo
---Anya to Karen about... "men"
---W i l l ' s made up "past life"
---Karen to W i l l
---Anya about her "past life diagnosis"
---Julie when I thought she was "redoing" her site a day after "redoing" it
Julie: ::drool::
i give up
i'll just drool on ker
Josh: Don't let all those good fluids go to waste, Julers... hehe :-*
Keri: Ooh baby, so sexy when you drool. LOL j/k
Josh: I'm sexy, and I'm not even drooling!
Keri: *laughs* Josh is feeling neglected. Yes yes, sexy, right, Josh sexy, okay. ;)
Josh: neglected...
Julie: lol ...josh is getting what every man wishes he could get
Josh: two women! Yay!
Julie: there you go :-)
Josh: Do I make you horny, baby?!
Keri: *smirk* He wishes.
Julie: not when you've been talking about your feet for ten minutes straight ;-)
---Julie, Josh, and I in an AIM convo
---Karen to me ... about incentive to read the "Harry Potter" books
---Anya to me about not buying Harry Potter
---Queenie
---Becky
---Karen
---Anya about HP and the "Keri" character in Buff1f:WP
Josh: JULIE wants to be like me more.
Keri: Actually, Julie wants to be WITH me. LOL I'm kidding, kidding!
Josh: OOHHH! LOL!
Julie: KERI!!!!
Keri: Julie has no clue we're talking about her.
LOL oops
Josh: Yeah, and that's funny! ooppsie!
Keri: *busts out laughing* Hi baby! LOL
Julie: ROTFLOL ...here I am reading up on what I missed and you go and say THAT!!?
lol don't hi baby me mister :-)
Keri: LOL! What? It sounded good! When'd I turn into a mister??? Excuse me! LOL
Julie: well if I want to be with you then you darn well better have gotten a sex change!
---Julie, Josh, and I in an AIM convo
---Kate
---Sara about my mom
You're shafted.
Now. Read the books.
---Anya to Chris/Via
Queenie: Do you think we shared a past life and then due to some karmic mishap the soul got split in two or some such thing? It kind of makes sense if you think about it, because our birthdays are separated by only one day.
---Julie and Queenie on the MB
---Karen about Chris/Via
This happy moment brought to you by the submittance of followers (Keri) and the joy of a Goddess winning an remarkably easy battle.
---Anya
---Queenie to Chris/Via
Josh: Of course, you both are SEXY!
Yay, yay, you two rock!
Julie: Why Thank you :-)
Keri's just off imagining me naked.
Josh: Probably, she hasn't said anything for a while...
Keri: *looks up* Huh? What? Where? Who?
Julie: See I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have given you that nude picture!
Josh: She's outuv it!
Keri: *hides it behind her back* What pic?
Julie: Damn, I'm that good. Even from a picture. Wow ..go me :-)
Josh: yeah... what pic?
Julie: *looks away* ..no picture.
Josh: *pretending not to be interested*
---Julie, Josh, and I in an AIM convo
Keri: ONLINE Goddess? Online? Since when did you start limiting yourself? ;)
Anya: I'm only limiting myself in terms of your mortal understandings of time and availability. I mean, you need to tangibly *see* me to believe I'm there, so... online.
---Anya and I in an AIM convo
That'd be Anya's who entertaining... you know, she who somewhat expressly forbid me this afternoon to come out with The Annotated Anya around Christmas time.
---Karen to Julie
---Sara to me about Texas
---Anya
---Karen
---Queenie to Anya
---excerpt from Anya's lovely short story on the MB to frighten Karen and I little children, heh heh heh...
---Kate
Josh: I'm back... *crawling*
I know you were talking about me!
Keri: *COUGHS* Julie!
Julie: No we weren't. I was picturing Keri naked.
lol ...i love you keri :-)
Keri: *chokes on her milk*
Josh: Keri's drinking milk?!
Keri: I, um, love you too, yes, right, in all senses of the word. LOL j/k
Josh: Not Coca-Cola?!
Julie: Oh baby :-)
Keri: *smirk* Yes,I'm drinking milk. With Rice Krispie treats.
Julie: ::drools on keri::
Keri: Thought you'd like that. *wink wink*
And these are darn good RKT.
Julie's still drooling...
She's making a puddle on that picture...
Julie: Sorry ...picturing Keri naked again with RKTs lol :-)
Keri: LOL... The RKTs just set ya off I'm sure.
Julie: i'm hungry ..sue me :-)
---Julie, Josh, and I in an AIM convo
---Anya
---Karen
---Julie
---Allie
and I'm not talking about duty on the crapper... hehe
Keri: Ohhhhhh... Julie, are we going to take that?
Julie: Gee josh. ...what are our womanly duties?????
Keri: *nods in agreement with Julie, looking at Josh*
Josh: You have plenty..
Since you both are women...
You must pamper your man *me*...
Keri: *keeps looking at Josh intently to hear THIS*
Josh: and give *me* what *I* want....
No matter what the cost, you must obey my orders and do exactly what I say...
when I say it!
And...
*you thought I was done*
Julie: ..and?
Keri: *smirks*
Josh: when it's time, it's time.... hehe
Julie: Well Keri ....I don't see any men around so ..
Josh: *running away*
Keri: Mmmmm hmmmm....
Julie: I have a Keri
Keri: And I have a Julie.
Julie: I guess I'll have to pamper Keri
Josh: And together you make a Keriulie..
Julie: and give Keri what she wants.
Josh: I'll take it from her! And you!
Keri: *raises her eyebrows* Oh yeah? I kinda like the sound of that.
Josh: KERIULIE!
Keri: That Keriulie thing was cute, Josh.
Julie: ROTFLOL .... lol *blink* how am I going to explain this one to Dillon??
Josh: Now you have to buy that off me if you wanna use it, k?
Who's dillon?
Keri: *wiggles her eyebrows suggestively* Dillon doesn't have to know...
Josh: Can't be a man, 'cause I'm the only one around!
Julie: my husband :-)
Ohhhh baby :-) I like the sound of that Ker
Josh: Holy!...
Spirit!
---Julie, Josh, and I in an AIM convo ... [LOL, really don't mind Julie and I -- we love joking around like this, but it is only joking around, really.]
---Anya about me
Julie: THAT WAS *not* ME! And I actually got the same spam in all of my hotmail accounts ...but hehe ..if you ever come to Florida again ... IT'S A JOKE!! Geez people!!!
---W i l l and Julie's flirting on the MB
---Karen about Julie wanting to start a quote page
---Julie
---Anya
Josh: :-P
Keri: Amen to that Julie
Josh: My feet smell good *singing*
Keri: I hate feet. Feet suck. Will not touch feet.
Julie: I hate Josh's feet. They're slightly stinky.
Keri: That too.
Josh: Only because I've been kickin' you two in your bootays... hehe ;-)
Julie: keri keri ..help me i can't get back up
Keri: *hits Josh upside the head*
Josh: ahh, dang, that hurt!
Get up Woman!
Keri: *wiggles her eyebrows* Why get up when I could join you?
LOL I'm so kidding
Josh: LOL!
Julie: lol no you're not :-)
Josh: Uh-huh...
Keri: *laughs* Well... um... ya know. *smirk*
Julie: lol oh my ..
Keri: *COUGHS*
Josh: *smacks Keri on the back* you okay?
Keri: *almost topples over and eyes Josh* Wonderful, thanks.
Julie: Keri you're not supposed to ....nevermind. I can't finish that thought. It's sick even for me.
Keri: *laughs* Julie...don't enter sickness that even you can't stomach.
Julie: lol but it was soo good!
---Julie, Josh, and I in an AIM convo ... [LOL, once again, please don't mind us one bit.]
---Anya to W i l l, her latest HP victim
---Julie to me about our "infamous" AIM convos and our "kink sides"...lol
---Alex/KiN
And, as safety insurance, I think I'll prepare Buff1f: The Depends Years. I'm working late tomorrow, so I'll squeeze it out and make sure I email out a copy to someone who can attest to it's dangerous existence.
*sigh* Children. Always having to blackmail them. Sometimes, I think I should just be a totally antisocial remote and cruel ignoring Goddess. It'd be far more peaceful.
---Anya to Evil Keri
---Karen
---Julie
---Anya
In the dark of the moon,
A creeping darkness
Steals across your soul.
Be cautious of evil's wait
Stay firmly in the light
Keep away of foul deeds
Awake not the quiet Beast
Stay clear of awakening anger
And fear the impending Depends.
---Anya's Death Poem for me...isn't she sweet? *smirk*
---Karen to me
---Julie
---Anya to Chris
---Allie
---Anya
Keri: *has to grin a little* I noticed how you hadn't been on AIM for awhile...and ya know what the sad thing is? I'd call that anti-social as well. LOL...we both need help. ;)
Julie: *laugh* Lord, what's wrong with us if we think not turning on a chat program is being anti social!?
Keri: *laughs* It means... we don't get out enough! Dang. I swear, if you were in CA or I was in FL, we'd so be hitting...um... the places...yeah, the places you go to have fun that I can't think of 'cause it's been so long since I've been to 'em. LOL.
Julie: LOL! Really!? Wow this is cool because I forgot the names too....it's nice to know I'm not the only little freakie person around :-)
---Julie and I in an AIM convo
Keri: *big smirk* I guess means yes, but I'm too stubborn to admit it.
Sara: *raises her eyebrow* No, it doesn't. This isn't Keri's literal loose translation of Sara speak. I guess...means I guess. Don't push your luck.
---Sara and I in an AIM convo
"After that little comment she made...she's going down. Just wait until her bottom dentures pop out."
I would seriously consider joining the Witness Protection program if I were you.
---Karen (with Anya quote included)
---Anya
---Kate
Keri: *laughs* for a moment there I thought you were gonna say you recorded it to keep.
Julie: lol oh yes, i want the porn baby!
Keri: LOL! Well hey...ya never know... lol
Keri: That one second clip coulda just done something for ya LOL
Julie: *laughs* only if you were in it ;-)
---Julie and I in an AIM convo ... about the preview for Real World lookin' like a porn movie
You don't give off a "comshuck me" vibe, but you need to learn to stop quoting that line in the middle of a grocery store.
---Allie ... LOL, oh my... ;)
---Missy
---Julie ... [LOL, and of course, she has done just that. :-p]
Queenie: ... Because you're evil.
---Anya and Queenie on the MB
Julie: LOL it is not "my" porn :-) it's our porn dammit!
Julie: ...this conversation is just completely messed up :-)
---Julie and I in an AIM convo ... continuing on about the Real World tape
---Queenie
---Allie
---Anya
---Julie
---Karen to me
For the record, I'm being ridiculously overquoted. You'd think people mistook me for entertaining. That's making a statement on the decline of humor in the modern era. I digress...
---Anya
Sara: *smirk* Uh-huh, this comin' from the Delusional Wonder. *smirk*
Keri: Oh shut up...my delusions are reality, darn you.
Sara: In your own little fantasy land, I'm sure they are.
Keri: Yes. In Keriland, there are different rules...but everyone loves to visit Keriland.
Sara: *smirk* Yeah, but they tend to come back to reality whereas Keri tends to stay in her fantasy land.
Keri: *smirk* Oh shut up.
---Sara and I in an AIM convoconspiracies thoughts. And I just thought of more Bronze peeves like getting 1st and 5th posts, but I'm going to try and restrain myself from going off again.
Julie: Psst ..I wanna hear about Bronze pet peeves :) It's very entertaining when you go off *grin*
---Karen and Julie on the MB
---Allie
---Anya's "excerpt" from the impending Depends part of B:WP ... heh heh heh.
---Queenie to Anya
Julie: See that was a joke. You were supposed to laugh and then come back with something equally as witty. But I'll just sit here while you ignore me *pout* :-)
---Julie in an AIM convo
PMS PMS
that's me!
PMSing right now!
Yeah! this feels good!
LOL :-D
Keri: LOL...honey, you are ON something if you think PMSing feels good. :-p
---Josh and I in an AIM convo
*pauses* I really SHOULD shut up.
Anya: Yes. Before I start speculating on the white powder in your sugar-dish.
---Anya and I in an AIM convo
---Allie
---Julie
---Anya to Queenie
---Queenie to Anya
---Julie
Keri: Now...are there extra meanings to D.E.A.D. 'cause if there is, I'd find that interesting. Er, I am odd today.
Anya: Very odd.
Anya: Deceased, eviscerated, assasinated and destroyed.
---Anya and I in an AIM convo
---Allie's response to anyone who screws me over :)
---Queenie
---Anya to Queenie
---Kate
Keri: *laughs* You need help if you think so. ;)
Julie: lol :-) indeed
Keri: *laughs* Glad to see you've come to your senses. Even I wouldn't want me in diapers. lol
Julie: well it depends ....do you have a little cross bow and have a heart on your diaper? you could be a little cupid :-) hehe ..i made a pun :-)
Keri: *laughs* A little granny cupid though? *laughs* I noticed that, how disturbing lol... Will's influence ;)
Julie: lol yes a little granny cupid ..misaiming arrows and everything ...lol i know!! i need sleep!
---Julie and I in an AIM convo about Buff1f:WP