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To be honest with you, let's just say...my friends are frickin' funny...and they can also be incredibly insightful. I like capturing both of these sides of them and putting them up here for all of us to laugh at or ponder over. And they love it too, so why not? ;)
Becker: Arf! Arf! Arf!
*rolls over*
*plays dead*
Keri: See how easy it is? :D
The (boobie) icon is a present for you. :D
Becker: But, but, I can't grab those and take them back here and play with them.
Arf!
hehehe
---Becker and Keri on LJ
hahah, you are so naughty and not even knowing that you are naughty somehow makes it naughtier, which of course then heightens my naughty sensor...sometimes i like to say the word naughty.
---shelly
Favorite guilty pleasure?
*cough* Prank calling J at work *cough*
"Housewares department, J speaking"
"Hi, I have a bridal registry and I need help picking out a gift. They're getting married tomorrow so I don't want to ship anything and I don't want to spend more then $50 and I want something they'll really love!"
"I see a blender is on this list for 49.99 - how about that?"
"Oh no, I don't want anything like that - it's not pretty enough. I really want to get them something pretty."
"Well this is the housewares department, we don't have a lot of pretty things."
"What about something shiny?"
*Pause*
"JULIE IS THAT YOU!?
*Julie dies laughing*
*J swears at me and hangs up*
---Julie crank-calling again
Will: At first, I thought "wicked" was "naked."
Julie: Will, you need panda porn!
---Will and Julie in regards to my website update with Wicked pictures
So bla bla, I'm working, bla, hi, how are you, did you find everything okay, would you like to exchange that for something else, hi there, bla bla working, work, bla. I wish I had looked up from my long line of people to see this lady at the end of it working towards a full temper tantrum. But I did not. If I did, I might have been prepared for the erupting volcano of spiteful vengeance seeped down upon yours truly.
---Julie telling a fun customer story
So much of your writing, especially your poetry, speaks of journeying - a way back or forward, going back, moving on, moving forward, or a mix of these things. Keep reaching and keep striving, and keep walking tall, no matter what!
---Allie
...I'm thinking about doing that survey. I copied everything and put it in a Word document, and I saved it under the title of Keri's Massive Survey Thing of Doom.
---Julie
This traumatized you? This? You survived Puff the Magic Dragon and friends, and yet this still traumatizes you? No one was even nekkid. ;)
---Becker about the "Box in a Box" Youtube video
....THERE WILL BE NO KERI!SLUG - EVER! *LALALALALAAAAA*
---Julie having issues
It was a horrible Thanksgiving, the worst I've had in a very long time. The word turkey is taboo this year, especially since I didn't get any.
---Karen
Steph: I mean, I don't really like to see anything below the chest, I don't wanna see their you-know-what (talking about men).
Keri: Pssh, I hear you there, but I have more of a reason since I'm gay.
Steph: No way, are you serious?
Keri: Yep.
Steph: Wow, my gaydar is completely off, I had no clue.
Keri: I have the good girl vibe.
Steph with a mischievous smile: We should just turn the lights off right now and get busy.
Keri: *dying of laughter*
Steph: Okay maybe I should stop before I get into trouble.
Keri: *still dying of laughter*
--Steph and Keri in the breakroom at work talking about her drawing human figures
Keri: I don’t think I’ll be getting enough money by then.
Julie: How do you feel about prostitution?
---Julie and Keri on the phone
Your first grade teacher was named Mrs. Shirts? Seriously? Let me guess, in the next few grades you had Mr. Shorts, Miss Panties, Mrs. Socks, and Mr. Jacket.
---Will
*pauses* Keri, are turkeys festive by any chance? *COUGH* ;)
---Julie in regards to Thanksgiving
I think one of the problems about giving yourself up to God is the admittance that you can't do it all yourself. The idea of it feels like complete failure. The problem has a couple of different issues involved. You have to convince yourself that asking yourself for help and guidance from God is not failure or giving up. You have to also then know that you aren't giving it all up to God. God helps those who help themselves. So it's the idea of asking for guidance as opposed to expecting Him to do it for you. (I know the latter isn't your issue, but I can see it being part of a giving up control thing in general). Trying to find the balance between complete self-reliance and taking no personal responsibility for (or no actually personal effort into) the direction you head. The difference being that, with guidance, your path is still your path, but it's the way you want to go and the right way as well.
---Becker
Oh dear God in heaven ...
What the heck did you do that caused me to make fun of you by being
DarkGoth!Julie?
...I ... have no words.
---Julie after I showed her the "All is Dark" goth poem she wrote years ago
I need to borrow some lady parts so i can have babies.
---RevMike
Karen: We got out of the airport around 8am, and by the time we got into Manhattan, an hour had passed. We ended up going to a diner in the Village for food since Queenie and I were both starved. She drained two cups of coffee before feeling better. Hehe.
Keri: I loved the comment about Q having to down 2 cups of coffee before feeling halfway decent hehe. ;)
Karen: In the end, Queenie had one more cup of coffee in the afternoon. That was her liquid lunch.
Keri: Queenie and a liquid lunch. This amuses me so for some reason.
---Karen and Keri on her blog
I wow ... huh. I just have to love those Keri feelings - your Mom's right, you needed to listen to yourself.
---Julie
hehehe If anyone ever asks if you are a lesbian. "Yes, but Benjamin McKenzie (sp) is my beard." If they are worth anything, they'll understand. Hehehe
---Becker
I like ... Miley Cyrus. Yes, Miss Hannah Montana herself.
I feel so ashamed. But you know what?
I DON'T CARE!! Hahahahhaa ;)
---Julie
Will: I had $5 in "Borders Bucks" (Whatever the @$%& that is. It's not legal tender. It's probably worth less than Monopoly money).
Keri: Is it sad that I feel the need to explain Borders Bucks to you? Dear God, my work is brainwashing me... lol ;)
Karen: I think Keri should quote herself now. Let's start off the new year with some fresh quotes. Heh.
Will: Let it out, Keri. Let. It. Out.
Keri: *cough*
Borders Bucks = real money.
5 Borders Bucks? 5 dollars.
10 Borders Bucks? 10 dollars.
Borders Bucks = of the good, because you get FREE money. (After you spend $150 in our store. You know how it is.)
*cough*
---Will, Karen and I on his LJ
Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Julie: Just about everywhere that's not LA and San Diego
Keri: And see, you haven't been to San Francisco. All the more reason to be my girlfriend and go with me. We can cuddle on a park bench. LOL.
Julie: No, I have not been to San Francisco :) LOL Keri I swear, I'm not being your girlfriend this time! Get a pillow! *cough* ;)
Keri: *pouts* But... a pillow doesn't hug back. *pouts*
---Julie and Keri arguing over their girlfriend status, lol
Little Canadian psychotic monster.
---Anya’s description of herself
LOL nice. I see you said I'd know which one was the bad one --- that's a
trick question!! What if I picked one and you'd be all, EXCUSE ME!? YOU
THINK I LOOK BAD!!!? @(*@*!@&!(!)# And I'd be all, but but ... it wasn't
as cute as the others ... and you'd be all, SO YOU THINK I'M NOT CUTE!?
And I'd be one scaaaared Julie. So uh *cough* Which don't you want me to
upload? *cough*
---Julie when I told her to leave the hideous Keri looking picture out of the Joslyn uploads lol
You are mean and evil person carefully disguised as a sweet and innocent girl. Hehehe
---Becker
Even though I'm at work, I'm still cheery. False cheery, but still. Cheery. Happy. Happy to help you even. I don't take my bad moods out on you, the customer, so why do you, the customer, insist on taking yours out on me?
---Julie
to some people, when they hear 'bi' something gets crossed in their brains and hear instead 'threesome'.
---Peggy/fuscia
Julie: *indecipherable words*
Keri: What?
Julie: Seeing the band on your finger.
Keri: Yeah, but what?
Julie: Seeing the band.
Keri: Yeah, but what did you say before that?
Julie: That sucks?
Keri: OH! I thought you said "That's asphaxisus"!
Julie: *busts out laughing* WHAT?!
Keri: I thought you were saying I had a skin condition! Asphaxisus!
---Keri pulling a Jessica Simpson on the phone with Julie
This is going to make it look like I go to Borders all the time. I don't. Really.
Anyway, so I went to Borders tonight.
---Will
So I'm dressing for work when I pick up my pants from a pile on the floor (*sigh* As I'm growing up, I realize I'm becoming less of a neat freak and more of a mess ...but then again, it's just me so who cares?) ... so anyway, I pick up my pants and go to put them on when I notice something. The cat threw up a hairball ... all over my pants. *sigh* SHE DID THAT ON PURPOSE!
*cries* Why does my cat hate me so?
---Julie
Your poem moved me. Thank you for sharing. The poem reflects what seems like an enormous growth on your part (I remember you struggling before, but you're like in a different part of struggling now). I was moved, because the words reflect healing for you.
---Lydia about "Embracing the Dark"
Damn .. I have the sniffles again ... I just sneezed like 5 times in a row
... grrr. This morning I was all stuffy and I had the sexy voice. Deb
called and woke me up to complain about her husband who decided, that hey!
Now would be the perfect time to clean the fish tank *glares* And she said
she felt like she should have to pay me $9.99 a minute! *cough* I said,
well that's what you get for waking me up and she said, well, I should
wake you up more often! *cough* Hi ;)
---Julie doing her sex operator impression ;)
This will be one of the rare times I just look at your post, nod and move on. 200 questions is entirely too many.
---Becker about the survey I filled out
Goddamn, what’s this black space?
---Julie on Dayquil
Next year, I'm accepting turkey invites. If I have to go through another Thanksgiving of trying not to strangle my family members, I may end up shooting myself. Ugh.
---Karen
Julie: Anya, you should totally take this survey! It only took Keri two and a half hours! ;)
Anya: I have so many better things to do with 2.5 hours -- schedule a lobotomy, scrub the oven while it's at 400 degrees... oh yes, things so much more less torturous.
---Julie and Anya about the Survey of Doom
and i love what you said at the end... there is a book i read on relationships and childhood and the like... there was a powerful thing it said... it said "they say breaking up is hard to do... that's wrong... it's easy to go from dreamboat to dreamboat and leave each time the boat starts to sink a little... it's WAKING up that's hard to do"
it's kinda that way with God.. it's easy to run each time you are confronted with an opportunity to let your faith and patience grow... but you never develop the fruits of the spirit... but when you wake up and actually submit, then your life grows by leaps and bounds!
---Anthony/UmaGoodness
I love you Keri Bearie Wearie, you look so very ... er dapper! Yeah!
Dapper!
---Julie
Will: The plumber from "Will" Fix-It was supposed to come between 1 and 3pm today. He came at 11. (Good thing I wasn't watching my soaps! Okay, I don't watch any soaps).
I explained the problem, showed him where the water had been shooting out from the house, and he said something about a hose bib and PVC pipe. He might as well have been saying, "Mrgutta rabba roo rabble goo goo." Anyway, he fixed it like nothing. The cost was going to be $120 but I had a $50 off coupon. My grandma would be proud.
Keri: ...Why does it not surprise me that you used the one plumber with your name in the title? :-p
---Will and Keri on his LJ
Hrm...I can't say I'm surprised at your conduct. Once a flirt, always a flirt. ;)
---Brian (aka Brianna)
Is the room spinning?
---Julie on Dayquil
Her secret idol is Stewie. I bet she's contemplating running with scissors or something right now.....
---Becker about Family Guy
Drama free 2008! WHOO!
Drama free is the way to be!
---Julie
You're still on book 7???? I have absolutely no idea how you managed to keep so spoiler-free for this long. It's a miracle.
---Karen when I still hadn’t finished the last HP months later
I put the phone down to spit out some phlegm and I come back and you’re talking crazy talk!
---Julie on Dayquil
The house -- still clean. This may seem trivial to many, but YOU try living with my pig-pen brother and a dog named Lucifer and see how it goes for you.
---Anya
sweetie i think we both have poo issues, thats why we are friends
---shelly
My day today:
"Housewares Department, this is J."
"Hi, are your fans running?"
"Huh? What?"
"Are your fans running?"
"Um, yes?"
"Then you better go catch them!"
.....
"JULIE YOU SUCK!!!!"
---Julie crank-calling J at work once again
I think there is a strong vibe in the gay community that love is the emotions, and then when it is gone you are not in love. I think it is strong in our society. But when you look to scripture love is not mentioned that way. "love is when you have butterflies" Never says that. Love is deeper then that.
---Stephanie
It's spelled tequila ...
But how is it pronounced? Keri needs to know :)
This post should also be titled, "Why oh why did I do that shot?"
---Julie making a LJ post during the middle of our phone conversation when I was tipsy off her shot
Anything? Hmm... how about... the ball drop is so passe? :-)
---Karen to Julie’s request to comment about anything
If you say that you're not cute, then I'm going to have to slap you.
---Brian (aka Brianna)
Keri: You're in the mood for snuggling? Snuggle with meeeeeeeeeee!! *cough*
Julie: LOL I don't wanna snuggle with you! You sound like a moose!!
---Julie and Keri after Julie answered a survey saying she wanted to snuggle
You have such a good heart and a lot depth to you.
I just wanted to say I saw you post a picture of your self over in the picture forum and I wanted to tell you that you are beautiful! I love your smile. I was excited to see another picture of you. Even if it was you sick hehee...
---Stephanie amused by the picture of me blowing my nose
The kitty didn't suspect a thing ... I think with all the Christmas
commotion going around, it confused her. I wrapped all my parents' gifts
until around 3am last night and put them in bags. Then this morning I
cleaned up the apartment, did the dishes, took out the trash and then
threw clothes casually in a bag, as not to cause attention. I tried to
make it look like I was just going to work or something. So then I left
and took all the Christmas stuff and my bag and loaded the car - then went to Starbucks then over to a friends' for a bit. Then I came back after an hour or so and casually picked up the cat ..... and dropped her in the cat carrier *cough*
.......hahahhahahaa! Julie: 1 Cat: 0
---Julie about making the trip up to her parents’ house
i think my keriest of keri's that you are on the mend, and are being prepared for something.
---shelly
Julie: Pet pet pet pet pet.
Keri: Don’t look at me that way.
Julie: TIMMAY!
Keri: Don’t TIMMAY me!
*Keri and Julie both bust out laughing*
---Julie and Keri yet again on the phone having issues
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