Many men feel they are the Provider, even when their partners are also working.

• His and other’s expectation become the motivation. The man as the leader is expected to always have a job to bring home the money to provide for the well-being of his family.
• He goes back to work as soon as possible after the loss. Men are continually having the need to be in control reinforced by the expectation of society. The man believes that he has to continue on as usual.
• He keeps himself busy so that he doesn’t have to think about the loss. Many men have the fear that if they do not keep busy to blot out continually thinking about what has happened, they will not be able to carry on.
• He works overtime to pay the bills. For many men the bills seem to pile up and he becomes concerned that there is not enough money to meet them. He will take all the overtime jobs to earn extra money to meet his obligations.
• He finds it difficult to keep up with the same work output as before the loss. The man’s grieving prevents him from working as effectively as he did before his loss.

Many men have difficulty in Communicating openly and honestly.
They are afraid:

• their partner couldn’t cope. Most men believe that they are expected to be macho and in control. Women do not have to exhibit the same control.
• that they may say the wrong thing. Many men are terrified of being helpless. If they say something that seems to upset their wives they are afraid that they will not know what to do.
• that they will upset their partner. Many men believe that anything that upsets their wives means that he has failed in his role as a Protector.
• that dwelling on what has happened will delay recovery. Most men genuinely believe that to put tragedies behind and to move on in life is what is expected of them. That is what real men are expected to do.