"Just because a lady gets to a certain age don't mean that Mister Lubberman is gonna cut her ears off and reee-tire the bitch!  Naw!  Some of dese laydees is like a fine wine...dey's intoxicatin', expensive and can make a mess on the floor...Know what ah mean?  Course, summa dem is skanks...Yo choice, l'il skin!"

Name : Rim Quim Quim         Age : 11

Details : The ageing ex-porn queen has fallen on hard times since the demise of her 'Blue Dog' production company.  Once, she was ferried everywhere by limousine and waited on (and lusted after) by hundreds of pups.  Now she ekes out a squalid living by standing on street corners and offering her backside to any passing rough trade. She reached her nadir in 1998 when she underwent gender transformation in order to appeal to both sides of the dog-sex market, often exposing her man-dog sweetmeats in an attempt to drum up business. Her case should be a morality lesson to us all.

Details : This short-legged Latin lovely was voted 'Most Sniffable Arse' three years running by readers of 'Growlers' magazine, and her short legs and squat body made her difficult to knock over.  After an impoverished upbringing in a Mexican shanty-town she sought the bright lights when she blossomed into bitch-hood, eventually moving to England where her attempt to whore her way across Europe foundered on that country's arcane Quarantine laws.  She never truly recovered from her six-month stint at Heathrow, returning to Mexico a broken and shambling figure.  Mia's eyes never recaptured their sparkle and her nose remains decidedly dry to this day.  She can be found offering paw jobs for $10 in the seedier parking lots of L.A.

Name : Mia Casa Age : 8 Most likely to say: "Isla de encanta?  Mi aso!"

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