"Wow! Posh dogs!"

"Blue blood and pink lips, thas' wha' I liiiiike!"

Details : The subject of incest is rarely spoken of in upper-class circles, and even more rarely published in a bestselling book entitled "Doggy With My Sibling."  This lovable if inbred pair were ostracised by polite society for their 'own love' crimes, though they took comfort in the fact that their literary exploits made them independently wealthy of their overbearing family.  'Romeo and Juliet for the millennium' is how one journalist described them, though they were also denigrated as 'blue-blooded beasts' by 'Lefty Pet Weekly.'  Cleverly using a loophole in the Criminal Justice act which states that incest amongst dogs is NOT a crime, they continue to live together and whore to produce offspring.  Their own couplings have been unimpressive in the progeny sense, resulting in only an eight-legged monster and a puppy who was just an eye when born.

Name : Lady Helen and Lord Tiger Asphalt Age : 7 & 9 Most likely to say : "One is relatively bored..."

Name : Prince Hubert of Latvia, aka 'Prince Of Darkness. Age : "Old...As old as the world"  (or 7). Most likely to say : "Beelzebub has a Corgi put aside for me, for me, for meeeee!"

Details : Bored second-in-the litter aristocrat Prince knew he would never acceed to his nation's throne, so instead devoted himself to the Black Arts, summoning up demons and giving lectures in 'The Art Of Dark Love.'  His family blamed his morbidity on his first girlfriend, an Alsatian called Sheba.  Prince later raised Sheba from the dead after she was put down for eating the face of her owner (who had died in his lonely, locked flat).  Prince is currently under house arrest for biting a child who rode past his house on a bicycle.

Details : A bitch with the bluest blood, being related on her mother's side to the Royal Corgi's (her father was a horse), Tara still lives in opulent splendour, barely having to raise a paw.  Only available for 'all-nighters' or 'weekenders', Tara's plush Chelsea apartment often echoes to the sound of four-footed suitors offering marriage and committment.  She is uninterested, preferring her small, regular band of select 'gentleman callers.'  These lucky dogs are treated to her lovemaking arts before rising early in the morning and backing away slowly, leaving a banker's draft on the bedside table and a distint muskiness on her regal chuff.

Name : Tara Fizz-Whizz Age : 6 Most likely to say : "I believe I serviced your Great-Uncle Freddy..."

Take me back to 'Whoredogs' you fucker!

I can't help myself, I fear I must see some more rich bitches.  More 'Upper Crufts' please.