The day was perfect: bright sunshine, few clouds, warm outside. However, spoiling this beauty as I picnicked with my pet spider Boris was Hairman--rolling around in the grass, fixing 'is hair, smiling, fixing 'is hair, feeding Goatman's goats, fixing 'is hair, getting yelled at by Goatman, and fixing 'is hair. "Hairman!" I yelled. "Bleedin' stop it!"

"Stop wot?" 'e asked innocently. "Feedin' th' goats?"

"Yeah! They're MIANE!" Goatman glared at Hairman, stroking a goat's fur.

Hairman shrugged, "Olright..."

"No," I sighed, "stop bein' ANNOYIN'! You're upsettin' Boris. 'S not nice of you."

"Oh."

The Big Boss buzzed over to where Goatman, Hairman, an' I were sitting. "BUZZZ! We've got a BUUUUUZZZZZZZ!! new super'ero joinin' our BUZZZ-y ranks! 'Is name is Sunshine Superman. BUZZZZZZ!" As he announced th' new fellow's name, Sunshine Superman strolled over calmly to us and sat down cross-legged. Bleedin' 'ippie.

"Hey everyone, I'm Sunshine Superman," 'e said in his thick Scottish accent. "I hope I can bring love, peace, and joy to everyone around," 'e beamed.

Hairman smiled at him. "'Ello, Sunshine Superman! 'M Hairman, tha's Goatman, an' this 's Blackman, the lead super'ero on the circuit." Sunshine Superman shook everyone's hands.

"Groovy, I know I'm going to enjoy it here..."

SUDDENLY, the villian monitor, which we had brought outside, sprang into action! "'Ello all," sneered Leader Pete.

"LEADER PETE! The EEEEEEEEEVIL ONE!" Robert... er, Goatman... shrieked, riding away on a goat.

"BUZZ! Wot do you BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ want?" the Big Bee Boss demanded.

"I've got a new White Pants Clan!" Leader Pete smirked.

"Not again," I sighed, rolling my eyes. When would Leader Pete get it through 'is thick head that wotevah new 'White Pants Clan' 'e came up with, we'd defeat? I shook my 'ead.

"Oh, 's true, Blackman. An' 'ERE THEY ARE!" announced Leader Pete.

The villian monitor now showed a group of five young men, wearing white pants, playing guitar, keyboards, bass, saxophone, and drums... five young men, singing: "Here we come again, mm-mmmm, catch us if you can, mm-mmmm..."

"Bloody 'ell..." Hairman whispered. "Th' Dave Clark Five 'ave crossed over to th' EVIL SIDE!"

"Tha's right," Leader Pete grinned. "I 'ave the unstoppable power of th' Dave Clark Five!"

"Well, WE'VE got the unstoppable power of SUNSHINE SUPERMAN!" Hairman announced proudly. "Riaght?"

"Correct indeed," Sunshine Superman smiled calmly. "Don't get too comfy, Leader Pete. I've got ways of defeating you that you never thought possible."

"HA!" laughed Leader Pete. "We'll see 'bout tha'!" With that, the villain monitor went blank.

I switched it off. "Well, BUZZZZZZ, looks like you've got your work BUZZZZ cut out for you!" the Big Boss told the three of us. "Good BUZZZ luck! BUZZZ-bye!" 'e said as 'e flew away.

Sunshine Superman stood up and posed with an 'and on 'is 'ip. "I won't let him get away with this!"

"Neither will I!" Hairman declared with a shout as 'e, too, stood up.

I reluctantly stood up, picked up th' table cloth, returned Boris to 'is cage in th' 'ouse, an' returned outside wearin' me Blackman outfit of me favourite black leather shirt, black leather pants, an' black leather boots. "Well, we'll fly to London, to Leader Pete's 'eadquarters, eh?"

"Good idea, man!" Donovan--Sunshine Superman, I mean--complimented me. Maybe 'e wasn't so bad after oll...

So, the three of us took off to Leader Pete's 'top secret' 'eadquarters in London. You'd think 'e'd 'ave changed the location of 'is 'eadquarters after 'e realized we knew where they were; still, 'e WAS Leader Pete, an' this was an 'alf-hour show. We landed, and then were attacked by th' newest members of th' White Pants Clan. "Look before you leap!" they shouted, cackling evilly. They then delivered us to Leader Pete in 'is Leader Room.

"You'll nevah get away with this!" Hairman said un'elpfully. Stupid sod. Nevah did realize that almost everyfin' 'e said was a cliché...

"WATCH me!" Leader Pete beamed deviously. Lit'le did 'e realize tha' I was jus' about to use me Great Mental Capacity an'... wait a moment! Why wasn't this working? "So, can't use your Great Mental Capacity to break through those ropes, eh? Maybe it's because they're GREAT MENTAL CAPACITY PROOF!" I was dismayed. 'Ow was I supposed to save the bleedin' day if I couldn't use me Great Mental Capacity?!

Th' Dave Clark Five smiled with approval. Then, without warning, they ganged up on Leader Pete and tied 'im up as well! "Shows you sammink... I am Leader Dave!" Dave Clark shouted triumphantly.

"Wot the bloody 'ell?!" Leader Pete demanded. "I am your leader, not 'im!"

Hairman and I giggled to ourselves. True, Leader Pete was evil, but I really don' fink 'e realized the evilness of Dave Clark. 'E'd corrupted the minds of the other four guys in 'is band... wot made Pete fink 'e wouldn't overcome 'im?

"An' now, as leader of th' NEW White Pants Clan, our first move shall beeeeeee... to corrupt the youth of America with our catchy an' loveable songs! Listen!"

With this command, th' rest of th' Dave Clark Five started to sing. "I'm in pieces, bits and pieces... since you left me had to say goodbye! I'm in pieces, bits and pieces... all I do is sit and cry..."

Leader Pete scowled. "It'll nevah work!" 'e grumbled.

"Watch it!" Dave Clark smirked.

I shook my head in despair, an' Hairman looked 'elpless. Sunshine Superman seemed to be chanting softly to 'imself. "Sunshine came softly through my window today... could've tripped out easy, but I've... I've changed my ways..."

Suddenly, sunshine seemed to burst through Sunshine Superman, and broke all the ropes! Together, the three of us punched Dave Clark and wrestled the other four members of 'is band to the ground. Hairman threw a glob of 'is super-strength Dippidy-Doo at 'em, and they were stuck tight.

"Aren't you goin' to let me out?" Leaded Pete pleaded, getting a big puppy-dog look in 'is eyes.

"No way, man. You're evil," Sunshine Superman replied with a smile. Then, I used my Great Mental Capacity and willed them all into jail.

As we flew back 'ome, Hairman was ecstatic. "WOW Sunshine Superman! Tha' was great!"

"Thanks, man," he blushed. "But it was being with the great Blackman that gave me courage."

I grinned, a very rare event for me. "Thanks," I muttered. We returned to my 'ouse, and then called th' Big Boss on the crime monitor.

"We done it!" Hairman yelped loudly.

"BUZZZZ! Good for you, BUZZZ boys! Now, BUZZZZZ, enjoy the rest of your BUZZZZ picnic! An', BUZZZZZZZZ, if you see Goatman, yell at him to BUZZZZZZZ stop runnin' away from the BUZZZZZZZZ action, alright?" 'e instructed.

"Alright, boss..." I sighed. "Another crisis averted, thanks to, Blackman!"

"An' Hairman!"

"And Sunshine Superman, man."

THE END! Stay tuned for the next Blackman! adventure...