One fine day
A long time ago
I ran across a toad
Singing to and fro

He told me not to listen
He told me "go away"
What a little asshole
Of course, I didn't obey

He was really ugly and
His singing sucked huge ass
No one knows why,
But he rolled up some grass

"Hey you want a blade?"
He looked kinda funny
"Sure" I said and took it.
"It'll cost you some money"

"Why the fuck'd you give it to me
If you knew I couldn't pay?"
"I just thought you'd suck it up
And I'd be able to get laid"

I looked at the toad
Through my glazed eyes
And something started bulging
Right between his thighs

I got real grossed out
And thought I might throw up
I told him what I thought of him
And that he should grow up

He pinned me down on the hill
And looked into my eyes
His something continued bulging
Right between his thighs

I kneed him in the groin
He started to Ralph Lauren
I kicked him in the stomach
And the rain it started pourin'

I spat on his bumpy head
And said "See ya, FROG!"
He looked up at me, eyes completely red
And said "MY NAME IS BOB!"