A kick up the Arse....

Yet again then we've drawn Arsenal - but this time in the Champions League.  Not content with humiliation in the FA Cup year after year, fate has given us the opportunity to be humiliated by the dirty, smarmy, arrogant, French loving apologists that pass for Cockneys.  But could it be different this time?  Could we liberate Stamford Bridge from the stale odour of Arsehole?  Can we give English football fans something to be interested in this season?  Here are my reasons for believing that it may be time for a kick up the arse.

1. The London French (previously known as the Arsenal) are bottlers!  When it's all going well, the French are brilliant and arrogant.  But when it's tight, they lose their bottle.  In 1998-99 & 2002-03, they bottled it in tight finishes with Man U for the Premiership.  They have bottled it every year in the Champions League....on away goals or by one point in their group.  They bottled a penalty shoot-out against the Turks of Galatasaray, for God's sake!  If we can keep this tie close, the French will bottle it again.

2. Surely we can't gift them goals again, as we did in the two league matches? (unless Sullivan plays, in which case it is certain!).

3. We are due some luck.  In the past, our shots hit the woodwork, while theirs have gone in.......Winterburn, Kanu, Reyes, Parlour....players who couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo somehow miraculously hit target when they play Chelsea.  Maybe Makelele or Melchiot will stonk one in from 35 yards.

4. We are also due a break from the Ref.  How else was Jesper Gronkjaer's goal disallowed in the Cup tie one month ago?

5. Because so far, we've played 5 won 5 drawn 0 lost 0 in our Champions League away games this season.  Goals for 10 goals against 0.  Nuff said.

6. We've played better in the Champions League than Arsenal have.  Remember, we didn't nearly go out in the first round, like our French cousins.

7. Because of fate.  After years of misery, we are due a win, and fate often takes a hand  in the biggest game of all.  After all, where did Tottenham finally beat Chelsea after 10 years of hoodoo?  Yes, it was 5-1 in a Cup Semi-final!  So maybe we will win big.

8. Because we are a bloody good side, and everyone seems to have forgotten this!

9. Because we have nothing to lose by having a go.  Arsenal are red hot favorites, expected to win, and they know that we'll spend another £500 million or so on new players in the summer.  So this may be their best and last chance to become the first London side to reach (or win) a European Cup final.  And back to my first point, you know what the French are like when the pressure is on!

Up the Chels!

Troo Bloo