(A Road Less Traveled)

As a boy growing up in rural Kansas, I seemed to always want to know what I wanted to do with my life. Of course, I considered all of the ramifications of the various options as related to potential career paths, including potential income, the amount of work, effort and education required, personal as well as financial goals, and so on. By the time I was fourteen or fifteen, I had pretty well laid out my life's goals and plans.

I would sign a recording contract with a major record label, become a rock and roll icon and be worshipped and adored by millions of fans throughout the world.

Unfortunately, fate seemed to have another idea.

When that course fell through, I had to find an alternative path in life. The problem with most career choices that came my way was that they seemed to involve something that was incredibly unpleasant .... work.   It's not that I'm lazy, particularly. I don't mind a good day's work (say a half an hour or forty five minutes of manual labor followed by a seven hour coffee break), as long as I was compensated with a fair day's wages (three million dollars an hour has always seemed quite fair to me).

I actually enjoy work. I can watch it for hours.

But, as far as DOING any work, I'm afraid I can't. Not that I wouldn't LIKE to, mind you. But my body won't cooperate. I'm allergic to work, you see. The mere thought of toting a barge or lifting a bale sends me into a cold sweat and causes my skin to break out in hives.

A Wise Career Choice

Having now spent many years searching for the "perfect" career, I've finally come across one that suits my personality and work ethic. I am an Optometrist. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the difference, and Optometrist is a "primary care" eye doctor. An Ophthalmologist is an eye surgeon and and Optician is a person who is certified to fit eyeglasses.

Opticians are not doctors and cannot write prescriptions. Ophthalmologists can write prescriptions for eyeglasses and contact lenses if they choose to, but they more often confine their work to the diagnosis and treatment of more serious medical conditions.

As an Optometrist, I spend much of my day asking people the important questions of life....specifically "Which is better, one or two." This is not unlike the job of a cashier at a fast food chain. "Which would you like, a number one with cheese, or the number two with onion rings?" In fact, it's not uncommon for me to ask patients if they would like fries with their contacts, just to break to monotony of a routine day.

The big difference between we Optometrists and the cashiers at a fast food restaurant is the money. They actually get paid for their work. As Optometrists, in lieu of getting actual MONEY (which can be used to buy things) we get to bill third party payers, take discounts for being on various insurance plans and then write off our fees. It's not as profitable as selling burgers and fries, but it does take significantly more overhead and it makes us seem more important to society.