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2006,
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or 2004!
Return to the Dog House!
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Just wanted to give a quick update while I'm actually online checking my e-mails=P
Yesterday, I spent the majority of my day figuring course selections for the upcoming year...gave me quite a headache...and also, since I was planning on taking French courses, I had to take an online French placement test=P
Apparently, upon finishing the test, "you will receive shortly an e-mail giving you the following information: your final score, your score on the various parts, and the Department's recommendation as to the course in which you should enroll."
The test had 5 parts:
And, "depending on your actual level of proficiency, you may not have to go through the whole test. The program will ask you to submit your answers at specific points. It will then compute your results and lead you accordingly to the next step – either the next part or the end of the test."
And even though they say it could take as little as 10 minutes if you only go through A1, or as much as an hour and a half for all 5 parts...I took almost 2 hours for the whole 5 parts...which I guess isn't too bad if I didn't review any French grammar since last summer in Nova Scotia and that the program thought I was smart enough to do the whole test=P
Anyhoo...gotta go...I'm making crêpes for dessert=D Mmmm...yummy!
Au revoir, mes amies!
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Saturday, July 23, 2005
Ugh! Soooooo full...need to digest=P hehe...so, the Moks, Naomi, and Viv went to St. Lawrence Market and the Distillery District this afternoon and went to Tutti Matti for a Summerlicious dinner=) It was pretty good: nice weather, fun company, neat shops, interesting events...
For dinner, I had Carpaccio di Manzo (slices of raw beef with a vinagrette), Ravioli del Giorno (homemade ravioli), and Tartufo (chocolate and vanilla/almond ice cream topped with dusted chocolate). It was gooooood=D I also got to try a bit of Cecilia's veal, Vicki's trout, and Becca's sausages...sooooo full=P hehe...
But yeah, the visit to St. Lawrence Market and the Distillery District reminded me of my school trips (especially the Distillery District, since that was on my birthday, and my friends bought me a really REALLY BIG slice of chocolate cake AND paid for my lunch=P). hehe...I'm so spoiled=P
Anyhooey, enough about today and food...last nite's coffeehouse went pretty well (in my opinion, anyways...or well, better than I had expected=P).
Worship practice and setting up had me pretty flustered, especially since we got Jess fairly last minute to drum for us, one of our mics disappeared under the sofa cushion, I had to order food for 5 people at Wendy's by myself (man...that was embarassing), and we had to fix, add, and subtract stuff from the powerpoint.
But as the nite went on, I relaxed. After the MCs' intro, leading the first worship set, watching the first part of the prodigal son (Godfather style might I add=P...and I still can't believe they put the "pot and ice cream" thing in!!!), and Season's sincere testimony...I began to forget all technicalities, calm down and breathe...
And when it got to the second worship set, music didn't matter anymore...the heart did. And when I heard Amie's guitar string break just before our last song, a capella was the only way to go=) And that is precisely what we did.
And as scary as it is to start and lead a song with just your voice as your instrument, it is the most overwhelming and uplifting form of musical worship to have a congregation of believers sing in unison without any instrumental accompaniment. And once again, God proved to me that His plan is better than any plan I could've practiced for.
And after all the cleaning, the grade 12s got together to discuss our group and the effects we have on the people around us.
hmm...my grade has always been a fairly tight group. I've known most of them since grade 2. Some people have known each other since preschool. But somehow, I've never really been a big "participant" of this group - probably just because my grade is mainly guys...with only 4 girls at the max on average.
haha...I'm usually the sit-back-and-watch-anxiously, pray-nothing-will-go-wrong "mother" of the group...or so it can seem at times. But I must say that when it comes to reaching out to people outside my grade, I've done no more (if not less) than the majority of the people my age. And for that, I apologize to anyone and everyone (not just from the W.A.Y.) whom I may have ignored or not been there for when they needed me.
As most of you who know me, I am most definitely not an extroverted girl. If it wasn't for serving in fellowship and in other church ministries, I'd probably just be the quiet girl in the corner who occasionally smiles at a joke.
I guess there are those in this world to make a lot of friends and there are those who make few, but very close and lasting friendships...and I happen to fall in the second category (or so I think). Not to say that I don't treasure all friendships I make, but it's just...I'm bad at small talk. I don't talk much, but once I do, it's usually something I've thought a lot about...or something that means a lot to me...something that's worth saying. And well, there's not many people who are good listeners.
I'm not a poet, or a sweet talker...I'm terrible with words, and spontaneity is not one of my strengths.
And yes, even though some of you (or many of you) have this weird assumption that I am good at everything, let me tell you once and for all, that I am only a human, and I am most definitely NOT good at everything.
hehe...I even had someone joke last nite (I hope it was a joke anyways) that he would name his future kid Angela just so she'd be smart...hehe...good luck with that!
But seriously...from every single person you meet in your life, there is something to learn.
And for me, I've gotta learn to be more vulnerable, to open up to people, to make new friends, to approach new people, to continue to listen, but learn to convey my thoughts...and hopefully, never come across as someone who is too hard to approach for any reason whatsoever, but manage to always brighten someone's day...even if it's in a small thing like a smile when it's most needed.
*sigh*...sometimes, it's amazing how far a simple smile can go. hehe...sometimes, the best reward for smiling is just to see other people smile with you=D So, hopefully, you're smiling, too.
Sorry for yet another longwinded entry,
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Okay...so it's NOT exactly 2am, but close enough. My eyes hurt and I'm tired...but I can't get myself to sleep. So, I decided to come downstairs to my extremely cold basement to update my blog and do the powerpoint for this Friday's coffeehouse at church.
Nothing like work to distract oneself from his thoughts...yes, my name is Angela, and I'm a workaholic...they always say acknowledging that you have a problem is the "first step"...
mmm...really dunno what I'm doing on my computer so late (or well, early) in the morning...too many thoughts running through my head...no energy to sort through them all...GAH! So frustrating...
People think I'm perfect - I dunno why. If I was, I'd never worry...I wouldn't need to worry. If I was, then I'd know how to manage my time to fit everything that I need, should, and want to do into my schedule. I mean...I've got a gr.10 piano exam in August, WAY committee stuff, the WAY coffeehouse worship to plan, friendships to mend, relationships to keep intact, parents to keep happy, a house to clean, residence applications to fill, university calenders to sort through, and courses to pick...and even though it sounds like a lot...I guess it's manageable.
And when I've upset somebody...or when someone is upset in general, I realize that everybody has their own list of burdens to carry...and I understand...but it hurts when I've added to their burdens, worries, and hurts...and I can't fix it, you know?
*sigh*...I used to say, "Smile, and if you're lucky, someone will smile because of you..." But I never wondered until now...what if you can't smile...what if you're the one who needs someone else to make you smile today...what then?
I'm rambling - yet again. I'm sorry...I get extremely longwinded when I think "out loud". This summer has been kinda stressful. I dunno why...but I'm really tired. I need a break, but there's no time for one. I need just a short day or two to breathe, you know? Go out...far away...no city, no noise...just nature - the trees, the stars...just peace and quiet...away from any pain and hurt...if only just for a second.
So far, during this past month, if I haven't been busy doing something I needed to, then I was feeling guilty that I wasn't. Or when I wasn't feeling guilty while I was just "veg-ing" then someone would ask me if I was free to do something with/for them...and well, to keep a long story short, I'm still in the process of learning to say, "no".
*sigh*...3am and I'm still awake writing a blog. If I get it all down right now, then it's no longer inside my head, running around in big circles...
hmmm...guess I'm gonna finish that powerpoint and see if I'll be able to sleep then...if not, maybe you'll be unfortunate enough to find yet another blog today...
Lost in my thoughts,
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Wednesday, July 13, 2005
*gasp*!!! Could it be!?! Angela's updating her blog for the 3rd time in a month!?! hehe...yeah, I actually am=P Who would've thought, eh?
Anyhooey, here I am...with nothing much to do...or well, with nothing much I want to do...so I figured I'd entertain you all with another blog.
Nothing much has happened in the past week...lottsa eating...I must say=P But surprisingly, I haven't put on much weight...hmm...
hehe...and I never thought there was such a thing as too much ice cream until I had an extremely large chocolate-dipped chocolate ice cream cone this past Saturday...Oh man...I've never been so full in my life!
But yeah...piano lessons have been crazy...I've got 2 lessons a week now...and now it's like practice, practice...oh, lesson...practice, practice, practice some more...OH, another lesson...*sigh*...and then yesterday, I got my RCM exam timetable thing...so now my dad's starting to stress about it, too...and when Daddy stresses, oh, he stresses like no tomorrow...
hmm...sowwie, guys, seems like I've gotta cut this one short. Gotta help my mom make "wordless books" for her mission trip...guess I'll try and update later.
Cutting and pasting...
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Friday, July 8, 2005
So...it's the "end" of another summer week...amazing how fast they seem to go by, yet each day seems so long...and yet, I still don't seem to have done much. I guess for the month of July, my goal is to concentrate on piano (since my exam is in early August), clean up the house, and figure out my first-year courses for September.
It's crazy, but in a way, I miss going to school...or well, maybe it's more appropriate to say that I miss the tight schedule that comes with school. Do you know what I mean? Like Monday to Friday, it's wake up, get ready for school, take the bus, go to my locker, chat with friends, design tech first period, chem second, physics third, lunch and then bio last period, go to my locker, get on the bus, get the mail, go home, chill, do homework, chill some more, sleep...and from time to time, there's the occasional change.
Now it's wake up whenever (or sleep until you feel sick), eat whatever's available, play some piano, go online and check your e-mail (and update your blog if you feel like it=P), watch some TV if there's something good on, or nap if you're tired. I feel...hmmm...un-inspired...I guess is the word.
I mean I have to clean house, do university stuff, and prep for my piano exam, but those things all seem kinda pointless in the end, you know?
At the beginning, I was supposed to update my résumé and get a part-time job...but even though the résumé is done, I haven't edited it or sent it out. Then my second option was to make stuff with my sister and sell it at an arts and craft show or something...but my sister now has a job, so that will most likely not happen...
NOW, I was thinking of maybe making li'l things (at a low student budget, of course) and selling them to fundraise for some organization or other. I dunno...I just hate the idea of sitting around and doing nothing...or rather, nothing of great importance.
hmm...I dunno...but then again, I don't like getting these seemingly great ideas and not doing them either...so...I guess I better get myself away form this computer, do some cleaning and stuff my parents have been telling me to do...and well, if time permits, I'll try this li'l fundraising endeavor of mine.
No more ranting...takes too much effort and does too little good.
Looking for some inspiration...
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Wednesday, July 6, 2005
Man...it's been one crazy start to my summer break. I feel tired...yet...I haven't done much. "Major" things have been university stuff (went to campus today...), WAY committee meeting, and family stuff...=P
And well, I guess most of the weariness and stress is from figuring out university stuff...making sure I didn't miss any deadlines, making sure I know what I'm doing=P And making sure my parents don't drive me crazy in the process...and also WAY committee.
It's funny, cuz like I've said before, it doesn't seem like I've done much in the past li'l while (including in the WAY committee), yet somehow I just feel drained. Last committee meeting, we decided that switching up roles would probably be beneficial to everybody...committee and fellowship. Chairing is weird, cuz it's an "overseer" and "keeping-everyone-informed" kinda job...or "emergency back-up" kinda job...and unlike the other positions, it's not as defined, I guess...
It's weird, cuz I remember last year, some aunties at church were asking about me and they were like "How's WAY? How's it like being the chair?"...and I'd be like, "Uh...I'm not the chair..."=P
Or then, during last summer, people in the fellowship would be trying to guess who'd be the next chair people...and they'd be like "Angela, and maybe Jeff...or one of the guys...if not one of the guys, then Celine." And I remember people saying that I should be chair, cuz I had apparently chaired Junior fellowship really well in my grade 8 year...
But...now that I have been WAY chair for the past school year...I really don't think I did a very good job...didn't support my fellow committee members well...didn't nurture an energetic spirit in the committee or the fellowship. I dunno...looking back, I can't tell if WAY's relaxed (almost apathetic) environment resulted to me feeling drained, or if my leadership with a drained spirit resulted in the most relaxed and apathetic WAY that I've ever been a part of it...or maybe...the two are really not linked. Maybe chairing a fellowship and this type of leadership isn't where God has gifted me in...
But anyways, like I mentioned, we've switched roles within the WAY committee, so I am no longer one of the chairs. Right now, I've moved to worship...where I was serving last year on the WAY committee. I guess it's more like my "cup of tea."
Tough though...moreso than last year...and trust me, co-ordinating worship for last year wasn't easy either...but I guess having not done this stuff for a year and with such a different pool of musical abilities to work with...it's a lot harder to find people.
True enough, I've only had the worship position for a week, and I've only sent my e-mail 2 days ago, requesting people to consider serving in this area...but so far, as of 9:00pm...only one person has replied.
I know a lot of people who have served in WAY worship this past year are drained...it's been a lot of last-minute notice, or week after week of leading by the same person or team over and over again...and I'm really hoping that for the summer, this won't happen again.
I'm praying that the Spirit will move people to serve...I don't wanna beg or guilt trip people into doing it...cuz even if they do it, it's for the wrong reasons...Worship is something that comes from the heart...
hmmm...
Worship is something that comes from the heart...maybe I'm the one who has it wrong then...I guess, growing up at MCBC, even though we've never said upfront that worship=music...a lot of the times, it seems that way...maybe the "new" WAY doesn't worship well through music...maybe they do better through scripture reading, poetry, drama...Maybe I'm too "old-fashioned" for the new group that's coming up...
I dunno...one thing I've learned these past few years in high school, in WAY, in church, is that people have different ways of doing the same things. When it comes to worshipping God, everyone has a method in which they're most comfortable.
For some, it's singing structured hymns with repetitious verses along with an organ; for some, it's singing along with a large robe-wearing choir and a piano; for some, it's doing improv along with a gospel choir and the rest of the congregation; for some, it's rocking out with a full band - guitars and drums; and for others, it's singing a capella with a few good friends. And this is still only aspects of musical worship.
For those who are not musically inclined, they may find moments of thanksgiving and praise through prayer to be the best way to worship God, or writing a poem, composing a song, painting a picture, sculpting a piece of art...
And what's important when you're leading a group of people in worship is you've gotta gear your "method of choice" towards their needs...even when it may not necessarily be identical to your usual method of choice. And what's important...is to know how to worship from your heart...because if you know how to do that, if you can have your heart in the right place, you can worship God through any method of choice.
In Nova Scotia, I remember constantly taking walks by the bay on campus. Not being able to sing/speak/listen in the English language for 5 weeks, and music being the principle way in which I worship, I resorted to a lot of humming during my walks...usually worship songs that I recalled from memory or li'l Sunbeam or children worship songs that have been engrained into my head over the years.
But yeah...singing (in English) was always my usual method of choice, but not being to do so, I learned to worship through quiet meditation, humming, and well, translating and singing songs into basic French=P And the funny thing is, by translating some songs, other than just expanding my French vocabulary, I really concentrated on the words I was singing...almost like how you'd learn a totally new song...
But yeah...WOW=P This entry came out a LOT longer than I originally anticipated. It's what...9:29pm...almost an hour of rambling. hehe...aren't you guys lucky I don't think aloud or on paper or on blogs often...you'd be bored out of your minds. hehe...but yeah...hehe...if you've actually read through to here and understand what I've been ranting about...wow, you've got a pretty good attention span=D
So to those who have been bugging me about not updating my blog often enough, I hope this extremely long one makes up for it all=P
Hoping you find your preferred "method of choice",
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Check out the blogs from...
2006,
December, November, October, September, August, July, June, May, April, March, February, January,
or 2004!
Return to the Dog House!