The Berkeley Diet
Thursday, 27 December 2000
Berkeley has developed a new holiday diet for all of you who are worried about gaining extra pounds this time of year. He came up with the diet on Friday morning when he threw up about six times. His Dad took some time off in the morning to stay home with him. Then Granddad and Granny came over so Dad could go to work. This is how the chain started. The chart below illustrates the gestation period of this diet.
The good part: your body helps you lose weight at first. Dispelling extra liquids you probably didn't need in the first place. After the first part is over, you don't feel like eating for a few days.
Note: our sincerest apologies for those who suffered. We really, really, really thought Berke was OK Friday night. Of course it is possible that he carried the original strain of the virus and then Kim carried it through Saturday. They do share some immunities.
Mastery
Tuesday, 14 November 2000
I expected to write this about my seeing Eliades Ochoa last night. He is a Cuban musician, the leader of the
Cuarteto Patria (which is now 5 guys plus him), and probably best known as one of the featured
musicians from the Buena Vista Social Club. Kim & I have two of his albums and really enjoy them. There were some songs last night that were
truly mesmerizing.
Cuban music is a mixture of Spanish, African and Caribbean music. The quintet consisted of two guitarists, a bass player, two percussionists and a percussion/trumpet player. Some of the rhythms were incredibly enticing. I was expecting to see what I consider Mastery.
By that I mean someone who has the ability to do anything they want with an instrument. The only limitation is imagining the desired effect.
I mean this as no slight to Mr. Ochoa and company. In fact, I would consider many of my favorite musicians to not be masters of any particular instrument.
I do have a short list of people I have seen live that I would consider such masters.
Neil Young — guitar
I saw him with CSN. Admired and listened to his albums since Phil loaned me Rust Never Sleeps in college. He plays like an awkward genius. Kind of reminded me of a left handed artist crooking his hand to avoid smudging the sketch. The work is beautiful but it seems almost painful to produce it.
Richard Thompson — guitar
Saw him at Wolf Trap this past summer (with John Pryne). Really a virtuoso. Credited with first playing traditional British folk music with electric instruments. His latest, Mock Tudor, is a big hit with Kim and me. Just listen to Hard on Me. Also, Berkeley's first concert.
Adrian Belew — guitar
I think he was backing Laurie Anderson when I saw him. There's an amazing part of LA's Home of the Brave (on video) when he is playing a rubber necked guitar. You can tell he's having fun with the instrument as much as he is getting music out of it. He's the insider's guitar player. Look at some of the varied musicians who have had him join them on tour and in studio: Frank Zappa, Talking Heads, David Bowie, King Crimson and Nine Inch Nails.
kd lang — voice
Saw her many years ago. She just came out with Ingénue. She had just dropped the country thing and was really feeling free to go in and out of singing styles. She previously completed the Patsy Cline-inspired Shadowland with Cline's producer and was beginning to develop her own voice, outside of country and Patsy's.
And this may be pushing my original theory on the subject, but I'd be remiss to not include Bill Irwin and David Shiner. Both of them I would consider to have mastered their bodies. I saw them a while back doing a performance called Fool Moon. It was a mime I guess (and shudder to say). I'd prefer to say it defied easy category, but... well, they were acting and didn't talk.
You really can't judge this without seeing live performance. And even some live performances just follow the way the songs sound on the CD so that doesn't always work, either.
My Hollywood Car
Monday, 5 June 2000
I am very excited about my new car. I got it used from a place that rents vehicles to movie studios. I haven't received its pedigree yet, but the sales guy said it was in more than one Dukes of Hazard episode.
I have found, however, that this car is a little bit different than your regular car. Some of these differences are nice, but others may take some getting used to.
advantage : repairs itself Just like Tom
Cruise's car in The Firm, due to the occasional continuity error, this
car has a tendency to have dents and such go away after a scene or two.
disadvantage : no headrests Sure hope I don't get in a front-on accident.
advantage : no plates I have been told that the car never needs license plates. I think I should check again with the dealer about this. His number is 555-6789.
disadvantage : no rearview mirror The mirror on the windshield seems to have been removed, requiring me to crane my neck around to look behind me.
advantage : rarely need to look at the road
Like the actors in movies, when I drive this car I very rarely need to look
in front of me (the road). Also, even the sharpest turns require very
little movement of the steering wheel.
disadvantage : no front tires This is kind of a "biggie." Despite the picture above, there are no tires, or even wheels on the front. Instead, this car is pulled by an oversize pickup truck with a camera crew in the bed. Hiring the crew can be pretty expensive, but on the bright side, I get great mileage.
advantage : dash lights The dashboard seems to have been installed with lights that light up my face when I drive at night. While it does make it a little harder to see while night driving, it is nice that all the cars passing by can see me.
disadvantage : explodes real good Should I be hit with a bazooka missile or the like, I have been warned that the car will explode as if it had boxes of dynamite in the back seat.
advantage : special bullet-proof abilities On the other hand, if someone is chasing me in their car and shooting at me, I am very likely not to be injured. Bullets may indeed riddle the car doors and windshield, but I will never be hit by one of the penetrating fragments.