The perfect woman would say:

1. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
2. I'm bored.  Let's shave my pussy!
3. Why don't we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my girlfriend over for a threesome?
4. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
5. I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?
6. I make enough money for the both of us; why don't you retire?
7. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
8. Not the fucking mall again; come on, let's go to that new strip joint.
9. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?
10. That was a great fart!  Do another one!
11. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
12. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you.