Elevator Time


Phil Carter walked purposefully through the revolving door into his office building. He was in marketing, and his eyes were noticeably red from his work that extended into the early hours of the morning. His wife had told him to save it for tomorrow, but now he was ahead of schedule and could afford to make time to take her out to his parents’ old cabin this weekend. He juggled a folder full of market research with his cup of coffee and a briefcase. The contents of the folder began sliding out as he lunged into the elevator, catching the papers on his knees. He put his foot out to hold the door for his manager, Ms. Stephenson. Phil tried not to stare at the out-of-character skirt that revealed far more leg than Ms. Stephenson should have.
“Morning, Carter.”
“Good morning, Ms. Stephenson, how are you today?”
“Fan-fucking-tastic, you don’t need to brown nose me, Philly boy.”
The silence was a thousands years long as the elevator stuttered into motion. “Umm… Ms. Stephenson?” Phil said. “Are you feeling alright?”
“You know what Phil? I’m really not sure. You know that feeling you get when you don’t know what the hell your boyfriend does for you anymore, and you come home with a cheesy shit movie to force him to watch, but that doesn’t work out because you got home early and oops, he’s too busy banging a cocktail waitress? That’s how I feel.”
The elevator crawled past the 3rd floor. Phil’s watch must have been broken because it was minutes in between the seconds. His mind raced to say something brilliant. He needed to console, disengage, and solve this awkward situation. He decided on a winning phrase.
“Uh… I’m sorry…”
“Ah, who gives a shit? He didn’t do anythi-.” She stopped short as the elevator halted, the lights dimming to darkness.
Phil put down his briefcase. The coffee hit his lips and the slurp that followed was quite the conversation ender. If she heard that noise, it would be like nothing had ever happened. He let out a sigh of satisfaction after a long sip. He began to sip again.
“Are you circumcised, Carter?”
The coffee got caught in his throat for a second, but he quickly swallowed it back and coughed. “What was that?”
“Your dick. Is it cut or what?”
The blood rushing to Phil’s face, he leaned towards the panel and pressed the button for his floor 3 times. He squinted at his watch, some auxiliary lights having come on, he could make out that only a minute and a half had passed.
“You wanna do it like that? OK, whatever floats your boat.” She got down on her knees and began to unzip his pants. After a split second delay, Phil backed away.
“Whoa! What the hell are you doing?!” he shouted. He quickly followed with a whispered “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Phil, don’t get your panties in a ruffle, I was about to suck your dick.”
“Ms. Stephenson, I’m sorry your boyfriend cheated on you, but I don’t think this is a good idea for either of us.”
“Phil, there might be a promotion available for you.”
“Really? I mean, stop that, I’m a married man.”
“If that’s how it is than I hope you enjoy your current position.”
Silence came back again. It was more poignant than before, and it stuck around for much longer. The lights came back on and the elevator moved again. They said nothing to each other. It reached their floor.
“How is your market research coming along?”
“Ahead of schedule,” he said, handing her the folder of his night’s toil.
“Wonderful. Good job, Carter,” she said. She paused for a few seconds, now back at their normal length. “You know, I think you might be cut out for that promotion now that I think of it.”
“I would appreciate that.”
“I would appreciate if you kept my… inappropriate comments on the down low, but I’ll get the paper work together for that promotion.”
They smiled and nodded, walking away from each other. Phil made his was to his cubicle. His neighbor, Jim, poked his head over the low cubicle wall.
“Hey Phil, I got a new bowling ball this week. Wanna roll tomorrow night with some of the guys?”
“No thanks, I think I’m going to take Rachel out to the cabin this weekend.”
“Have it your way, but the offer stands if you feel like changing your mind.”
Phil smiled and turned on his computer before he was offered to forget about his wife again.


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