Author's Note: Yes, this is where you finally find out whom I'm going to pair Sirius with. Those who want it to be Harry won't be happy, because it's not him. I said that I wasn't going to pair Harry and Sirius together in this fic earlier, so I'm sorry to those who are disappointed. I already know how this series will end and there are five more after this fic. I've already pretty much written the last fic in this series. I'm planning on doing some prequels for this series, but I don't know when I'll get to them. Anyway, hope you enjoy this, and thank you for all the wonderful reviews.
Harry's POV
As I slowly walk back to Sirius' house, I think about my husband. I cannot believe that Remus would hurt himself so badly. Half of me wants to hit him until he bleeds for being so stupid, and the other half of me just wants to curl up around him and hold him and make him feel better and loved.
At least he's asleep now. I can tell he's not slept in days, and he most likely hasn't slept since I left, or if he has slept, it's been for only a few hours total. Now that I think about it, I remember one incident, about 15 months ago, we got into a huge fight. I ended up sleeping on the couch, which I transfigured into a bed. I could hear him toss and turn all night. He looked terrible in the morning.
It was then that I remembered that once werewolves mate, it's quite difficult, if not impossible, for them to sleep without their mates. That was the last time I let him sleep alone. Any trips I made after that for my research, I never stayed away overnight.
The past week he's slept alone, and I can tell it's taking its toll on him. It's funny that I didn't think about it until now. Not ha-ha funny, but…nevermind. Thank Merlin those potions I used to treat his wounds have the side effect of making him sleepy. He'll sleep for a few hours. He always does.
As I walk down the street my godfather lives on, I think about what I need to take back with me. I'll need a copy of all my research, of course. Remus needs in order to teach his class about werewolves, and I'll need it to show him what I should have told him a long time ago.
I have a lot of explaining to do to my husband.
I also need a change of clothes and my toothbrush. There's no way I'm letting Remus spend the last night of this lunar cycle alone. I don't want him to hurt himself again.
I sigh as I open the front door. Imagine my surprise when I realize Sirius is not alone. I didn't know he was expecting guests. I can hear him and another male voice laughing in the kitchen. The voice is somehow familiar. I think I know this person, or at least met him.
I walk quietly to the kitchen and peer inside. Sitting there with my godfather is a tall, handsome redhead with big blue eyes and a cherub-like mouth. They're sitting at the table, drinking tea and talking. I had forgotten how handsome Bill Weasley truly is.
God, how long has it been since I've seen a Weasley?
Bill glances in my direction and jumps slightly. He didn't realize he was being watched.
A smile breaks out across his face. "Harry, my god, how long has it been?"
I smile back at him. "Hey, gorgeous. It's been too bloody long."
Bill gets up out of his seat and we fling ourselves at each other, engulfing one another in a massive hug that seems to go on forever.
"Harry, you don't know how much my family has missed you," he tells me, his voice thick with emotion.
"I've missed you lot, too. It's just been so hard, you know. When I'm at The Burrow, I see all the others…" I choke up, tears running down my face.
"I know. We still miss you. Mum misses you. She's reminded of Ron and Hermione when she sees you," he says, holding me tighter.
I glance over at Sirius through my tears. He's smiling sympathetically. He knows how hard this is for me, how hard it is for me to face any member of the Weasley family. I also know that I'll heal better if I face my demons instead of running from them. The guilt of not being able to save Ron and Hermione still lies heavily upon my heart. I do know that the Weasley family doesn't hold me responsible for what happened to Ron, but it doesn't make the guilt I feel any less.
We finally let each other go, and we sit down at the table next to Sirius. Sirius gets up and pours me a cup of tea, which I accept gratefully.
Bill wipes away his own tears. "So, Harry, what's going on in your life right now?"
Sirius and I both wince at the innocently asked question. It doesn't go unnoticed.
"Sorry," Bill says sheepishly. "I didn't mean to pry."
I smile warmly, resting my hand upon his. "You're not, Bill. Remus and I are just having some problems right now."
"Are you two going to be okay?" he asks me, concerned about both Remus and me.
I sigh, sitting back in my chair and holding my cup in my hands. "I don't know. I hope so. We're trying to talk things out now. I just came back to get another copy of my research and a change of clothes."
Sirius looks at me sharply. "You're going back?"
I nod. "Yes. I'm not going to let him go through the last night of the lunar cycle by himself."
"Why not?" Sirius asks indignantly. "He deserves it after what he's done." Bill looks at the two of us, completely confused.
I turn to Bill and start telling him the story, bringing him up-to-date on what has happened the last week. Then I explain what Remus has done to himself the last two nights to the both of them.
"I'm sorry that he's been wounded so badly, but I don't see why you have to stay once he's taken the potion," Sirius says.
"Just a moment," I tell them, getting up. I run upstairs into my bedroom. I take out my research and mutter a spell that will duplicate my entire research exactly. While the spell works, I gather the other items I need for the night.
After the duplicating spell is done, I look down at my research. After a moment of contemplation, I decide to make another copy of the papers. I figure that they may somehow help Severus in his quest to make a better wolfsbane potion. At least I know they weren't lying about working on that.
When I'm finished I go back downstairs to talk some more with Sirius and Bill. They have retired to the living room. Taking out my research, I sit between them on the couch and explain some aspects of the research I have done.
"Do you understand what I'm trying to say, Sirius?" I ask my godfather.
"I understand what you're saying, Harry, but that doesn't change the fact that he lied to you, that he's been lying to you for some time now," Sirius reminds me.
"I know that, Siri. I've lied as well. I've been working on this research for the last three years and the werewolf's rights thing with the Ministry for the last year and a half. I've lied to him about everything I've been doing, even if many of them were a lie of omission. I've lied to his face many times, not letting him in on what I was doing, shutting him out of something that took up a large part of my time. I can't let him take all the blame for the situation when I hold some of it. I'm not condoning his lies; all I'm saying is that I didn't help things with the part I played."
Bill nods. "Harry is right, Sirius. If he had been more open and honest with Remus, Remus may have told him what was wrong, what he was feeling. I'm not excusing Remus either, but I understand what you're saying, Harry. Now the question is, what do you want? Can you forgive him? Can you allow Remus what he needs? Can you live with it?"
Sirius and Bill look at me expectantly, waiting for my answers. I think about what Bill asked. "I think I can forgive him. I've always given him what he's needed. Can I live with it? I don't know. That's something only time will figure out, but if I forgive him and allow him to live his life as he needs to, I'll have to live with it, won't I?"
Sirius nods. "Yes, you will. Lupin and Snape have both hurt you, and badly. I just don't want to see you hurt anymore."
"I know you don't, but this is something I have to work out for myself. I love my husband, and I don't want to let him go if I have a choice in the matter."
Sirius hugs me to him. "Then do what you have to. I'll support you, no matter what you decide to do. Just don't expect me to be kind to Remus for a while. I'm still mad as hell at him."
"My protector," I tease, returning the hug. "Now, I will let the two of you get on with your visit…hey, that reminds me of something I wanted to ask. What are you doing in Hogsmeade, Bill? Last I heard you were off in Egypt or Lebanon or somewhere. What brings you here?"
"Actually, I've decided to take over management of the WWW. We've got some new people working on items, and Mum is tired of managing things from the Burrow. I'm moving to Hogsmeade."
"That's great!" I shout, flinging my arms around his neck. "I'll get to see you all the time now." We talk for a little while longer before I decide it's time to leave.
Sirius walks me to the door after I hug Bill goodbye.
I turn and smile at my godfather. "You know, I think Bill might be interested in you."
"What makes you think that?" Sirius asks, a blush rising on his cheeks.
"Oh, I don't know. It might be the way he was drooling all over you before he noticed I was standing in the door." I say innocently. I chuckle as Sirius blushes deeper.
"You're having me on," he says.
I shake my head, leaning to give him a kiss on the cheek. "No, I'm not. Do me a favor, Siri. Get to know him, and if you think you might be able to like him, even maybe someday love him, give him a chance. You deserve someone who loves you, and I saw the look in his eyes. It told me that he could love you."
"I will try, Harry. You do me a favor."
"What's that?"
"Whatever you decide, make sure that you'll be happy. I can't be happy unless you are. It's in the godfather handbook."
I laugh and hug him. "I will. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."
"Love you."
I walk out the door and down the street, my heart a little lighter now that I know someone just might have caught my godfather's eye. I hope that something happens between them, that they make a go of it. They're really cute together.
I walk quickly down the street, and turn the corner, heading back to Hogwarts. I could apparate, but for the first time in days I'm in a lighter mood, and I'll enjoy the walk.