February 5, 2000 This has been some week for me and baby. Not one I want to relive again, that's for sure. Last Sunday, after a normal day of grocery shopping and napping , I awoke to go pee (as usual) to find nothing out fo the ordinary (as usual). I"d been having a terrible back ache since we'd been shopping and was trying to keep myself relaxed to help it. Then proceeded to fix a snack and take a phone call. As i was sitting at the table, I kept feeling that I was having a heavy discharge, continuously. Just being on the cautious side I went and checked it out, only to find that I was soaked with BLOOD! Now my mind is racing as I'm taking this in and suddenly I feel like something is going to fall out of me. I make it to the potty to pass 2 golf ball sized blood clots! I'm in shock, needless to say and am sitting there wide-eyed and stunned for all of one minute before the heart wrenching sobs kick in. My husband comes running to find out what's wrong only get out incoherant phrases like "the baby" and "blood" and pointing at the potty that i'm still sitting on. So he runs to get a flashlight and finds a bloody mess under me . He takes action by trying to reach my mom, who is only 6 miles up the road from us, but cant' get through the busy phone line. So then he tries them on the computer, to see if my brother my be online or anybody he can reach. He sends a mail, though he can't see anyone on, and returns to me, still sitting there, eyeing the blood that has gotten on my hands and trying to get the kids to go in the living room with daddy.

I eventually make it up and get cleaned up as well as i can and dry my eyes again as I make my way to the living room to sit down. By now, Robert has shot off in the car over to mom's to pick her up and bring her back. They make it over in record time to find me still in the recliner in some kind of daze. mom pets my hair and asks me what's wrong with the baby and I start crying again . We call the dr. and find out what is best to do (E.R or what) and proceed to Gallatin with me, Robert, the kids, mom and Gary.

Once there I'm quickly admitted and gone through all the paper work about what happened, how Im' feeling now, if I'm in pain (which i wasn't physically hurting really, only slightly), was asked if this was preceeded by pain, which it wasn't, was a total shock. I eventually make it back to the E.R. room that will be my haven for the next 5 to 6 hours.

One of the first things I have to have done is a pelvic exam, not surprisingly. There was a lot to clean up down there, they basically use these very large Q-tips to clean you out as they check things over. The good news was that my cervix was still closed and my uterus was still full, though the E.R. dr. was SURE i was farther than 12 weeks. I can't remember how many times he mentioned i seemed more like 15 or so! *rolling eyes here* After that, I get blood drawn and a clean urine sample (by way of a catheter :p) I couldnt' get any answers from the Dr. cause he wanted to wait for the ultrasound to get the real results before getting my hopes up or down. Mom was with me most of the time during all this. The men and the children were in the lobby, though mom "let" :) robert come back a few times. I think he was more comfortable out there than to see me in such distress.

Eventually, around 8 pm or so, I am wheelchaired back to the Women's Imaging Center. I talked the ultrasound technician into letting my mom be there with me. She finally conceeded, I think cause she knew I was upset anyway and needed her there. I was really glad mom got to go in, no matter what cause I coulnd't see the screen! I could tell from mom's expression that the baby was alive in me. She got so excited seeing "Little Bit" moving around and seeing the heart beating ! The tech couldnt' answer any of my questions as to whether things looked all right, said the pictures would all be sent to the radiologist so he could look them over and would get back to us. *sigh* But we had seen the baby and knew that the baby was alive and kicking, and doing somersaults too. :) Oh, Just for info , I had an external and internal ultrasound done. The internal was a new one to me, and very uncomfortable. They have to prop your hips up high and then a slim wand is inserted (covered with what looked to be a condom). It's supposed to give a much clearer picture of the womb. I did get to see a still picture of the baby when she was done. Our baby has a big head right now and is only about 3 1/2" long with all of thier arms, legs, hands, toes and all that stuff. :)

So, after being wheeled back to our little nest in E.R. we are set to wait.....and wait, til we hear back from the radiologist. Robert comes back with me again and is with me til after 10:00 when we finally hear back from the radiologist and the E.R. dr. comes in to talk. We're told the problem is that I've got a case of Placental Abruption and that I have a 50/50 chance of keeping the baby now. Not great odds, but I'm thinking, "i've got God on my side, so my half of the 50% is greater!" My OBGYN is upstairs at this time, delivering a baby and would like to talk to me before I leave. Me and Robert agree, and he decides to take the kids and Gary home now and let mom come back with me to stay. I finally get to eat since I'm not having a DNC and the nurse brings me a wonderfully delicious turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomatoe and a plate of fruit. That was the best tasting turkey sandwich I'd had since I hadn't eaten a good meal since lunch! Mom came back and we waited til sometime close to 11p.m. when Dr. Phillips came in to talk to us.

He aksed the usual questions, if i smoke, drink, do drugs, if I'd had any accidents, all to which is a "No". He said it's a 1/100 chance of it happening to a woman during a pregnancy and the only cure was bedrest and prayer. I was laying down at the time, and mom had called the church before we left to go to Gallatin, so I told him we had it covered in both areas. :) He gave me a 70/30 chance of making it. I liked those odds a lot better. I was told to go on complete bedrest til 24-36 hours after the bleeding had stopped.

So that's been my week. i was finally able to get up Friday and start walking around again, and eat at the table with everyone too. I do think i kinda overdid it though as i was kinda sore that night, but no bleeding, so that's a plus. My mom has stayed with me all week during the day to watch the kids and take care of me. Without her I couldn't have made it. I go back to the dr. on tuesday the 8th. don't know what they'll do. i hope they do another ultrasound so i can see that the baby is ok in there, but i guess as long as he gets a heartbeat again i'll be happy. i wonder if I'll be on a weight restriction for the rest of the pg, as far as picking things up goes? I've never had a problem during pg, so don't know any of the procedures. I'll update after my appt.

(BP 142/69 l weight 174 lbs)

February 10, 00 Well, my dr. appt went well this week. :) when my dr. found out that i'd been to the ER he immediately checked to get the heartbeat of the baby. He found it right off and then the baby swam away, then he chased her down, found her, then she ran away....notice a pattern? so he was pleased the baby was obviously all right. then he measured my uterus and he gave me the funniest look and said "my, your uterus is growing very well". Now what am i supposed to think with that?! They did see only one baby in the ultrasounds i had done. i'm really hoping this isn't an early sign of a big baby. *eek* I go back in 4 weeks on the 7th of March and I'll have my blood work done, then get scheduled for the regular ultrasound, and probably the glucous test (yuk). He didnt' put me on any restrictions, only to say not to be doing any kind of jumping things. hehehe

he left the weight restrictions up to me, but mom was there and said "don't you do it!" :) the kids got to hear the heartbeat too, since they were there. Canaan was really liking it, then said, "that's not the baby!" smiling. :) sissy was just kinda like, "oh well" but of course she's only 2. He said I"m not in a high risk category, but if i even spot again to call immediately. He also said he couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen again later, to just take it a day at a time. He was really glad to hear it healed so quickly though.

I was outside planting some flower bulbs and clearing out the old flower stuff to make way for the fresh foilage. mom shook her head at me and gave me a talking to. my neighbor came by and couldnt' believe i was out doing stuff. she's had 2 miscarriages after starting to bleed. (she has 3 children, her last one was after the 2 m/c's.) then my friend Becky's husband went by and seen me out there and went home and told her what i was doing, so i heard from her this morning. I think i've been sent to my corner for now. :) but that's ok, after working outside it sent me to the recliner for the rest of the night. oh well.

February 11 -Dream Schemes I had my first dream of the baby last night! Finally. :) I dreamed that I had gone to the ER and they did an ultrasound to check the baby (wonder where all that came from??) and they called me back with the results saying that the baby was fine and that we were having a girl. Then they repeated themselves....'your having a girl'. I was kinda in shock on the phone cause i didnt' expect to find out, but said 'ok.'

So, I didn't have any visions of the size of the baby yet, or what they may look like, but it's a start. For those who dont' know, i had dreams of both my other children while i was pg. I dreamed with Canaan that i was having a big boy, and that he was, measuring in at 10 lbs and 22 1/2". With Katlyn, I dreamed I was having a normal sized girl, and that she was at 7.5 lbs and 19 1/2". So, you can see why I'm interested in what my baby dreams say. :) I'm now interested in what the ultrasound will say when i get one around 20 weeks. How interesting!

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