Spies/Telescope

	Stephen is looking out of his office window with a 
	telescope. Hugh enters with a folder.


Hugh		Oh. Morning Control.

Stephen		Morning, Tony. I'll be with you in a minute.

Hugh		I say, that's rather a splendid device. Where did
		you get that, if you don't mind my prying into
		your affairs?

Stephen		I don't mind you prying at all, Tony. After all,
		you're only human.

Hugh		That's right, Control. I am.

Stephen		And what's more, you're a spy.

Hugh		That's true as well.

Stephen		Well to answer your question, Tony, you see it's
		my birthday today, and my sister Marie gave me
		this as a present.

Hugh		I didn't know you had a sister called Marie,
		Control.

Stephen		Marie isn't her real name of course, it's just a code
		name I've given her which prevents people from
		discovering her real name.

Hugh		Ah well, that's cleared up that little confusion.

Stephen		Her real name is Maria.

Hugh		Oh. So you decided to opt for a code name that
		was quite similar to her real name, then Control?

Stephen		Yes. It makes it much easier to remember.

Hugh		Huh. You are a wily old fox, Control.

Stephen		Anyway. This contraption is called a telescupe,
		Tony.

Hugh		A telescupe?

Stephen		Yes. Although I should point out that that's also a
		code name, in fact.

Hugh		Say no more, Control. Hush hush.

Stephen		Mmm. Although I don't think I'm speaking out of
		school if I tell you that this device enables one to
		see things very clearly over quite a long distance.
		Here, you can have a go yourself.

Hugh		Control, I really don't know what to say.

	Hugh goes over to the telescope.

Stephen		Don't mention it, Tony. Now have a look at
		that man down there standing next to the
		telephone kiosk.

	Hugh looks through.

Hugh		Gosh Control. You weren't exaggerating when you
		said it allowed you to see things very clearly. He
		could almost be in the room with us.

Stephen		That's very true, isn't it? But here's where the
		telescupe comes in. Because Tony?

Hugh		Yes?

Stephen		He isn't in the room with us.

Hugh		Well I thought he wasn't in the room with us
		Control, but it's nice to have it confirmed by you.

Stephen		He's actually on the other side of the street.

Hugh		Hmm. He appears to be looking this way, Control,
		with ... wait a minute ... yes, Control, that man
		is looking at us ... with a telescupe.

Stephen		Yes, Tony. My theory is that he is an enemy
		agent charged with the task of keeping us under
		surveillance.

Hugh		What a confounded cheek, Control. I've a good
		mind to ring the police and have him moved on.

Stephen		Steady Tony. I've got a better plan.

	Stephen starts dialling.

		I got Valerie to find out the number of that
		telephone kiosk.

Hugh		Control, your plan is working. The man has picked
		up the receiver.

Stephen		(Into telephone) Hello? Enemy Agent? It's Control
		here. (Pause) Very well, thank you. Please stop
		keeping us under surveillance. Thank you.

Hugh		Yes, Control. He's going away.

Stephen		(Wiping his hands) There, Tony. Another small but
		significant victory for our side.

Hugh		Congratulations, Control.

Stephen		Now you go and fetch us a nice cup of coffee,
		and we'll pretend this whole ugly incident never
		happened.

Hugh		I can go one better than that, Control.

	Hugh exits and enters with a cup of coffee tied up in a 
	red ribbon.

		Happy birthday to Control. Happy Birthday
		to Control. Happy Birthday to Control. Happy
		Birthday to Control.

Stephen		Oh get along with you.

Hugh		Aren't you going to open it?

Stephen		Boh!