A Vision of Britain

A Vision of Britain


	Stephen addresses camera. His hair is wild and 
	peculiar. He stares through thick, black-rimmed 
	spectacles.

	Hugh is playing "I vow to thee my country" throughout 
	on the piano.


Stephen		Ladies and gentlemen, bear with me. Bear with
		me please. Don't stop bearing with me for a few
		moments. I have a vision, a vision of Britain. I see
		a country peopled by ... a country peopled by
		people who, who ... people it with charm, with
		grace, yes even with greatness. As they people it,
		they enhance it with their lightness, their amusing
		accents, their v-neck sweaters and their unusual
		children. This country shall be free and wide and
		pretty, and their people shall be free and wide and
		pretty. And there shall be villages and towns and
		family amusement theme heritage fun parks which
		shall smell of urine and vomit. And there shall be
		twelve water and sewage businesses and leisure
		dromes and huge edge-of-town crematoriums
		and day-glo bermuda shorts which are flecked
		with urine and vomit. I see "Impact" as a new kind
		of flexible high-yield convenient cash and care
		card for the kind of person you are today and I
		hear the sound of many thousands of miles of
		motorways, conveniently filled with many hundreds
		of thousands of cars whose seats are stained with
		children and urine and vomit. And the interior of
		the cars shall be sweaty and hot and bad-tempered
		and the queue for the exit that leads to the family
		amusement heritage theme fun park shall be
		hundreds of miles long. And there shall be shiny
		magazines out of which will fall many dozens
		of smaller shiny magazines which shall offer
		useful electronic golfing equipment and wall safes
		disguised as three pin sockets and bright security
		lamps and personal attack alarms and hand
		freshen-up absorbent pads to soak up the urine
		and the vomit. And the faces of the people who
		are peopling this Britain shall be shiny and they
		shall be flushed and pink for they shall know that
		they are forging a new Britain of fun and heritage
		and family leisure amusement and the boot of their
		car shall easily accomodate the self-assembly fun
		park that they shall erect in their bathrooms. As
		yet, it is all only a vision, a vision of family heritage
		urine and fun leisure amenity vomit. But soon,
		soon, with luck, sincerity and steadfast voting it
		may become a reality.

VOX POP
Stephen		My father was a Conservative and
		my mother voted Labour so by
		rights I suppose I should vote
		Liberal Democrat. But in fact
		I'm a Nazi. Funny how things
		turn out.
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