Articles: News reports

"In other news today, Prophecy Mud, a small text-based game located in Luxemburg, was shut down today. The Luxemburg Police cited animal rights violations after a huge bust in the basement revealed an operation involving milking hundreds of cows. A representitive of the MUD, giving no name except 'Salmissra', explained. 'Well, how else are we going to power all those milk fountains we have all around?'

In other news, Dr. Pepper and 7-up have reported several cases of their popular soda have gone missing.

In similar news, an attempted bank robbery was botched today. A man, first name Sal, last name Dris, threatened the bank teller with a toothpick and said, 'Fork over the money or I'll kill you with my [Humming] [Glowing] .[ToothPick of Doom].'. After being arrested, he attempted to escape by repeating the word "oahz" over and over. At times he was witnessed as saying 'what do you MEAN the gods think I'm old enough to walk now?'"

by Noran

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