I Owe it All to PBS

I have to say: the Public Broadcasting System made me what I am today. No question about it in my mind. Could it be that I owe my deep interest in Astronomy to Nova and Carl Sagan ("billions and billions")? No, not really  -- the truth is, I'm only mildly interested in Astronomy. Perhaps Antiques Roadshow has fundamentally changed my life, and I now spend my spare time scouring attics and basements for some rare treasure find? (Giggle) Yeah, right. Then maybe Great Performances brought a love of Opera into my otherwise uncultured, dreary life? Not even remotely close (although, I did once own a dog that howled like a wolf when and only when she heard opera. We would turn on Great Performances just to hear Sammie howl. But that's hardly life-changing, is it?)  Masterpiece Theatre? Nah.  Then it must be.... I'm a sucker for telethons, right? Click. Sorry. No tote bag for you.

No, how PBS changed my life back in the '70s was by exposing me to a spot of British culture. By this, of course, I mean shows such as Monty Python's Flying Circus, Benny Hill, and Faulty Towers. "Ah," you say, "so adolescent British comedy influenced your sense of humor, your witty outlook on life, and ultimately led you to writing these fine essays?"  What? Haven't you been listening (uh, reading)? Don't blame my sense of humor on John Cleese and the other lads. They were actually funny (although, I've got to admit it's been many, many years since Monty Python's The Holy Grail has been my favorite movie. No, this is much simpler than that. These shows are dead-on hilarious to teenage boys. They were a must-see; and then, later, must-quote. You know, like "It is I, Arthur, King of the Britons," or "What is your favorite colour?" "Red. No, Blue. Aaaaaaah," or "She turned me into a Newt, she did!........ I got better," or, in falsetto "What's on the Tele?" "A Penguin" "Oh, intercourse the penguin." (Yeah, I know, only the last one was from the show, the rest were from the movie -- but that's not the point here. And to those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about, just read on, OK? I had to throw in some quotes to get a laugh from the guys -- they didn't understand what I meant by Nova or Masterpiece Theatre or Great Performances. I'll get to the point eventually). These shows were akin to the rated "M" video games that every 14-year-old boy covets today ("M" for "Mature" -- as if someone who is "mature" will be spending countless hours in front of the playstation 2 shooting fictitious characters in the head). Part of the lure was that you weren't allowed to watch them.

I still haven't made my point here, have I?  (No guys, it's not that I can still quote Monty Python after all these years). Well, let's work backwards, shall we? To keep it simple (and one hell of a lot less dangerous!), let's confine this to my career. No matter who you are, you are where you are in your career because of a combination of your skills, your ambitions, your attitude, your contacts, your luck and.... where you were before then. For the sake of argument, lets confine that to your last job. And how did you get there? Well, turn back the clock, and it was again some combination of your skills, your ambitions, your attitude, your contacts, your luck and.... where you were before then. (This, my dears, is inductive logic - I referred to this in another essay a while ago). Well, work backwards until you have no prior job, then change the formula a bit. Chances are you got your first job as a result of your GPA, your college contacts, your luck, and where you managed to go to school.  Now we're getting somewhere. Allow me to make the bold statement that the better school you went to, all other things being equal (e.g. GPA, how hard you worked, etc.), would likely result in better contacts and ultimately a better first job. Hmm. OK, then in that better first job, all other things being equal, you might have a better chance at landing a better second job. And so on and so on. So, it is plausible that if I went to a better school as an undergraduate, I would be somewhere else entirely in my career right now, isn't it?

What? You say I still haven't made my point? Oh come on, it's bloody obvious. Do I have to spell out everything for you? (Sigh) When do you suppose the PBS station showed the warmed-over BBC comedy shows, eh? These shows were on starting at 11:30PM and beyond every night. My first class in high school started at 7:30AM every day. I was a freakin' zombie during school. If I had averaged one more hour of sleep each night, I would have had an academic record that would get me a free ride to any Ivy League school. But noooo. Freakin' PBS had to put these shows on late at night, didn't they? The bastards! ☺