What Women Want; What Men Want

She wants one man, made of Hercules and Cyrano (Spin Doctors, "Little Miss Know-it-All").  Men, you know what they're talking about here, eh? Poetic, romantic (Cyrano de Bergerac, you know, from, oh just forget about it and trust me on this one -- and read a book every now and again, OK?) yet with the looks and physique of a greek god (no guys, being friends with Zena has absolutely nothing to do with it -- I said "read a book," not "watch UPN"). Kinda' leaves us average guys feeling like we're out of the running. Remember ladies, be careful what you ask for; you could very well end up with a bodybuilder with a huge nose. That reminds me, I once saw a quote in a newspaper from a guy named Rich Hercules. I don't know him, never met him, and have no business using his name, BUT -- I'll bet this guy has no problem ever getting a date, know what I mean? Not quite Magic Johnson, but definitely a babe-magnet-name.

I need a lover who won't drive me crazy/I need a lover who won't drive me mad John Cougar Mellenkamp, from back when he was known as John Cougar. Well said, John! ☺  He didn't say "beauty queen," or "sex goddess," or "supermodel," more like (and, yes, I'm stretching here a bit - but what the hell, I'm writing this, not you) "someone who will give me a little space every now and again." Or even, "someone who will cut me some slack because, after all, I am a primitive being (a man)."  Of course, being fair, we men usually give our women good reason to drive us crazy.... and if you want a relationship with someone who never has a differing opinion from your own, stick to the blow-up dolls.

If you could only see/what love has made of me/then I'd no longer be/in your mind/the difficult kind (Sheryl Crow, "The Difficult Kind"). What, did you think I'd only quote male songwriters here? Sheesh. I'm a sensitive guy. Cut me some slack here, bitch. (hey, I'm just kidding. Cut me some - oh, never mind).  I think Sheryl might have been answering John (Cougar) (Mellenkamp) directly here. I'll never understand women, but I do know enough to realize all they really want is to be understood. (Read that line a few times, think about it a little, then read it again ;-D  -- see what a pickle I'm in?). Let's face it, isn't that what we all want (from our supermodel/Hercules/Cyrano/stripper/innocent partners)?

Miles and miles of perfect skin/I swear I do I fit right in/my love burns right through everything I cannot break/Miles and miles of perfect sin/I swear I said I fit right in/I fit right in, my perfect skin you cannot break......./.../I'll give you my body/just show me your soul (Hole, "Reasons to be Beautiful")  Hmmm. A lot going on here. Courtney ain't no Pat Benetar, that's for certain. Y'know, if I didn't have years of male-ness saying it wasn't so, I'd say it's possible, just possible, that women and men suffer from the same basic malady: they think they can't live up to the expectations of their partners (not smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, etc.), which causes distance between them and their partners.

It's been one week since you looked at me/cocked your head to the side and said 'I'm angry,'/5 days since you laughed at me saying 'get back together and come back and see me'/3 days since the living room/I realized it's all my fault but couldn't tell you/yesterday you'd forgiven me/but it'll still be two days 'till I say I'm sorry
...
It's been one week since you looked at me/threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy/5 days since you tackled me/I still got the rug burns on both my knees/3 days since the afternoon/you realized it's not my fault but a moment too soon/yesterday, you had forgiven me/and I now I sit back and wait 'till you say you're sorry (Barenaked Ladies, "One Week").  More evidence of how we let ourselves get in the way of our relationships. More specifically, our pride, or our egos, or our fears. And you thought this song just had a good beat!

All I ever wanted/was a love to be true/More than just enough to get me by/I want a love to see me through (Bonnie Raitt, "Come to Me")  Again, well said. Ya' gotta go for it, not settle.

Whew. Shove me in the shallow water, before I get too deep.