Doggie Resolutions
for the New Millennium
I will . . .
. . . refrain from chewing on the coffee table no matter how delicious it might taste.
. . . treat the food on the kitchen counter as if it belongs to my humans.
. . . just quietly listen when I hear a dog or a doorbell on TV.
. . . brush my hair before rubbing against my humans' black wool suits.
. . . wait and let others go out the door ahead of me.
. . . lie quietly when someone comes to visit.
. . . clean my paws and face before claiming the bed pillows.
. . . keep my long tail away from table tops.
. . . treat the water bowl as a drinking dish and not a splashing pool.
. . . stay away from the toilet bowl.
. . . wait until I dry when coming in out of the rain and not �shower� my humans.
. . . resist the strong urge to roll in dead �stuff�.
. . . wait until my humans open at least one eye before jumping on them as they lie in bed.
. . . put my bones and toys in my own bed instead of hiding them in the sofa or my humans' bed.
. . . just chew on my own toys and not my humans' expensive shoes.
. . . be quiet between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 10:00 a.m.
. . . wait until that warm pile of clothes that just came out of the dryer cools down before lying on them.
. . . eat all my dog food instead of just the choice bits and pieces.
. . . stay out of the garbage.
. . . wipe my dirty paws before coming in the house.
. . . stay off the good sofa.
. . . keep my toys from going under the sofa, bed and refrigerator.
. . . keep the nose prints off the windows.
. . . stay out of the cat's food and litter box.
. . . curl up on my own bed instead of the more comfortable human bed
. . . resist being the first one out the car window to grab the bag of hamburgers from the McDonald's lady.
. . . look like I really enjoy being �coochie-cooed� by a stranger.
. . . come immediately when called rather than when I feel like it.
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