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Easter Special - 24/03/05 |
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God reduces The Black Box to rubble |
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One of Galway's most celebrated live music and theatre
venues was a heap of burning rubble this Easter Saturday
morning following the most awesome display of the
power of the Lord since biblical times. At five o'clock in
the morning the heavens opened above The Black Box
and fire and brimstone rained down, reducing the
building and surrounding area to a pile of smouldering
ash.
One of God's representatives on Earth confirmed to The Naked Galwegian that this had been an act of revenge for the venue's flouting of the nationwide ban on alcohol being served on Good Friday. "It's about time that we saw a return to form by the Big Guy," said Crazy Brian who is often seen ranting on various street corners around Galway. "Back in the old days people, buildings and even whole towns were smotten just for looking at a slice of beef on Fridays. But these days anything goes - skipping mass, taking the Lord's name in vain, sodomy - it's all rife on the streets of our once holy city. I, for one, am glad to see that punishment is starting to take a much more immediate form." The charity gig which took place in The Black Box on Friday 25th March flouted the yearly prohibition on sales of alcohol and drew a sizeable crowd because of this very reason. God, it has been reported, was very very pissed. In what is now being referred to as 'An Old Style Old Testament Ass Whopping' his awesome might was displayed in a truly spectacular manner. Standing atop of the burning remains of what once was The Black Box, Crazy Brian spent most of Saturday informing all onlookers of God's displeasure. "It's been nearly two thousand years since Jeezy was crucified by the Greeks and God made it very clear in the Bible that he did not want the Irish drinking on the anniversary of this tragedy. I quote: "And let it be that none of the Micks shall be intoxicated on this, the anniversary of the death of my son Jeezy. Other countries may booze, but for the Irish it will be a day of sobriety upon which they can reflect on what a waste they are that they can't think of anything to do at all when the pubs are closed." |
 Nothing but rubble remains after God's
Old Style Old Testament Ass Whopping
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