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Easter Special - 24/03/05 |
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United Nations to establish new 'Herbert Republic' |
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In an attempt to solve the current Chav crisis in the UK, the UN has announced that the
United Nations has purchased the Isle of Man and intends to repatriate all Chavs to the
island.
Kofi Annan said today, "The Isle of Chav will be a place where all chavs can live in peace, free from fear and oppression." The country's flag will be burberry, with a chrome finish and go faster stripes. Wayne Rooney will be interim president of the island, as well as captain of the Isle Of Chav football team. The team was accepted into FIFA on Tuesday, but banned from competition for five years on Wednesday for causing a riot at the acceptance ceremony. However, Bertie Ahern has stepped in to say that the plantation of Chavs so close to Irish shores is a clear attempt to antagonise the Irish people. "We've got loyalists in the North and Chavs on what was the Isle of Man. Surely it is no coincidence that the two worst sectors of British society are both on our doorstep. Mr. Ahern's comments may have some credence, as Kofi Annan was seen to leave Downing Street in a yellow Lamborghini Diablo, with a chrome finish and go faster stripes. |
 Wayne Rooney - interim president
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