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Issue Nine- 03/06/05 |
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Gossip Mags band together selflessly in Kylie's time of need |
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Kylie Minogue has been inundated with messages of support
since announcing that she has breast cancer. We noticed it
was the lead story on nearly every magazine from Heat to
Now this week so we decided to ask the editors of these
magazines for a comment on how exactly they're going to
'help Kylie beat this'. Maybe one of them is a radiotherapist
we thought.
When we rang Heat magazine however we were connected to someone who mistakenly thought it was an internal call and when we mentioned Kylie she shouted "Ching ching!" down the phone. She then went on jubilantly "Oh thank God for cancer! I mean talk about silly season, how many stories can we do about old chicken legs Victoria Beckham and her twat husband? Breast cancer is the new… well not having breast cancer. The Big C now stands for Cash!" When we finally got a word in to tell this representative that we were from a publication looking for a comment the line went silent for a moment followed by a loud shriek. The same person then came back on the line using a fake high pitched voice and said "Sorry about that, she's new you know. We're all completely behind Kylie in her hour of need. Goodbye." Indeed. Word on the 'celebrity' scene has it that rival publicity whores like Liz Hurley and Geri Halliwell are extremely put out by all the attention Kylie's been getting and are trying to jump on the illness bandwagon. Gerri has sobbed to some rag or other about her struggle with ADD and Liz Hurley wept through an agonising account of an ingrown toenail she once had. There's even talk of Jodie Marsh taking a hammer to her own skull. So good news there at least. |
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