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					i will always love you by marcella wiggins http://ausxip.com/fanfiction/i/iwillalwayslove.html SYNOPSIS: FBI agent Christine Sydney is assigned to protect Dyane, a Corporate CEO who is getting death threats. Both she and Dyane have lost loved ones through a drunk driving incident, and they bond over their shared misery. Can agent Sydney catch the stalker, get over her past, fall in love, stop the secretary from floating around the room (I'll explain later), get better taste in music AND keep her rep as the best agent in Bureau? Stay tuned... NANCY: Suspenseful? A little, I had the bad guy pegged as soon as she gave away the first hint, but the story managed to not go overboard with hints. Romantic? Errr, dunno. I wasn't particularly carried away by it. Funny? Hell yeah, but probably not in the ways the author intended most of the time. excerpt: The tears in her eyes spoke volumes to her secretary, who hands her a Kleenex and backs out of the room. "Is she in Yvonne?" Oh what a comma wouldn't do for this sentence! And what tense is this story written in? Present and past tense get horribly mangled throughout, which makes the whole experience decidedly less than elegant. Then there's the next chapter in the tale of the much maligned secretary... excerpt: Dyane picked up her phone and a moment later Yvonne entered with her pad and pencil. "Yvonne, this is my new, uh, intern, Chris Sydney." "We've met." Yvonne levitates. EWOK: I'm aghast. Why is she floating? NANCY: I'm actually sitting here trying to figure out what she could possibly have been trying to say. Hesitates? Meditates? Neither of those fits with the sentence, but at least they're not airborne. EWOK: *laughing* NANCY: The story actually contains "You've Got Mail" references as well. Sydney the FBI agent is assigned to protect Dyane the CEO who is being stalked. (Yvonne is actually Dyane's secretary, so in the spirit of Ally McBeal its actually quite conceivable for her to levitate perhaps?) Sydney talks every night to, and receives advice from, another lonely heart and Xena fan (cute tie in) via email. Guess who that turns out to be? No prizes there. Meanwhile, Sydney has been given this case because her lover was killed by a drunk driver, and Dyane's husband and daughter were also similarly disposed of by a drunk driver before the story began... EWOK: Ally McBeal's-Got-Salinger-Mail, in other words? NANCY: That's not a bad summary! What had me in hysterics though is that the story is also intercut with scenes of Sydney writing Xena fan fiction! That is a cute touch. Unfortunately the fanfic that Sydney is writing has tonnes of absurd grammar errors! How authentic! I'm trying to figure out if it's done on purpose as a parody. EWOK: Is it a story in progress? Nancy could make a cameo in the story! NANCY: Sorry Ewok, it's all posted. I love this piece from Sydney's "fanfic": excerpt: "You haven't got the guts." she hisses, and she draws her sword, assuming the position. Assuming the position? Reminds me of Meg's line to Joxer, "I need your sword in my service right now!" *giggle* EWOK: It's dangerous to make assumptions. So is it a keeper Nancy? NANCY: Oh no, it's awful, but brilliantly awful. If you treat it as a satire it's very amusing. NANCY: This lone reviewer says 5/10. The story has its moments, but I was too busy laughing at some of the more absurd errors to really get the most out of the high points.