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					biographies of the guilty parties OUR HEROINE Born in a frenzy of e-mail nonsense, Nancy Amazon has been doing reviews for fanfic since she accepted that her own writing attempts were too bawdy and Callisto-obsessed for the general public. In the past few years she has been working as a Hudson Leick impersonator, a psychotherapist (where she met her deranged sidekick, Ewok) and a trapeze artist in the Hungarian National Circus. She enjoys being handcuffed, carries a purple painted laptop with her everywhere and answers to the name of "Nancy Girl". Goals: To be hired as a cleaning lady for Renaissance Pictures in the hope that one day she can collect Liz Friedman's belly button lint. HER TRUSTY SIDEKICK Since leaving the Russian Steppes, Ewok has interviewed for - and been rejected from - a multitude of exciting occupations, including stunt double to Tinky Winky in the upcoming Teletubbies movie. She currently sleeps beside Radha Mitchell, and is undergoing psychotherapy three times a week. She has a blue toothbrush and no pets. Goals: To seek out strange new fanfic and new characterisations, to boldly go where no man has gone before - Janice Covington's bed.