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					crossing brooklyn ferry by anon. (fs) http://www.caveofchoirs.org/stories/fanfic/xenaff/ferry.htm SYNOPSIS: Retreating into a world of dreams and poetry to escape the memories of her bad marriage, a young woman meets a kind, blue-eyed stranger who offers her a hand into a better life. NANCY: OK, "eternal gratification"? That's in the first line. No wonder she told us to take the disclaimers seriously, that sounds like an awful lot of...ahem...gratifying. EWOK: I'm sorry, did you say "infernal gratification"? NANCY: This is becoming a very R-rated ferry ride. EWOK: I said "infernal" not "internal". NANCY: OK, OK...let's get on with the review, shall we? EWOK: I guess it's a viable alternative to the classic road movie structure. NANCY: You mean, instead of rescuing the distraught woman in a diner on Highway 54, she rescues her from a Brooklyn Ferry? I hadn't thought of that. EWOK: Seemed self-evident to me. I thought it was a nice variation. It was also good that she used an established poet, rather than writing bad poetry in Gabrielle's name. The bard must not be turning in her grave for once. NANCY: That's a good point. As for the style of the piece itself, didn't you think the writer was trying a bit hard? I mean, sometimes she got tangled up in her own sentences. Case in point... excerpt: Her ears remembered words that her mouth denied entrance to. Her eyes remembered the craving that her lips denied giving. Her arms remembered deflecting what her soul remembered being forced into. And her entire body remembered the pain that exploded it all. My one word reaction to that being, "huh?" EWOK: Yeah, it does sound rather like a bad drug experience, doesn't it? NANCY: The unfortunate thing is, that part was supposed to get across all the grief and horror she felt at being abused by her husband. Perhaps I lack the poetic soul to grasp the meaning fully, but I think for me it did more to obscure her pain, rather than emphasize it. I think perhaps in moments like this you need to bend over in favour of clarity, rather than trying to be too clever or evocative. EWOK: See Gabrielle Run. Run, Gabrielle, Run. NANCY: OK, I meant simplicity, not imbecility. I was actually really impressed with the integration of the poetry with the story flow. It set the mood nicely. I really liked this piece: excerpt: Still, the wind had picked up. She felt herself shaking, as if feeling its grip. You villain touch! what are you doing? My breath is too tight in its throat! "Hey! Hey ... whoa there," the voice came again. "I didn't know Whitman was such heavy reading." Despite the occasional flubbed line, it was an intriguing piece. NANCY: 7.5 out of 10, and a nod to the fact that I just might buy some Whitman after this. EWOK: I'll give it low 7. I'm a sucker for poetry. O Captain my captain!