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					from hair to eternity by vivian darkbloom and ln james http://www.squonk.net/users/lnjames/hair.htm NANCY: My God, what a writing partnership! Synopsis?...err...lemme see...ummm... SYNOPSIS: Parody to end all parodies. Carson Wilds chases after the sexy-as-all-hell Stash Moleski, not taking no for an answer. They face hurdles. Major hurdles. Stuff like really bad frosted hair, bad art, sex scandals, paternity issues, blackmail, shaven body parts that itch...But these two never lose their cool. Like "Love and Death in the Trailer Park" meets Melrose Place and a shonky porn film. You gotta read it to believe it. EWOK: Okay, can't read this at work... which is a recommendation in itself. *Smirking furiously* We now return you to your irregular transmission. NANCY: You got a URL for that story Ewok? EWOK: Well, I do, but I couldn't be bothered digging it up. As the bishop said to the actress. NANCY: Hmph...I guess I'll have to go find it then...*adds it to the page top* excerpt, disclaimer: It's Uber Until It Sells: Call it what you want, just don't call it late for dinner. NANCY: ohhh...I love these two! excerpt: And if I had to sit down in an overstuffed chair while she wrapped my hair in pieces of foil while drinking wine out of a plastic cup and listening to Bjork remixes while she made small talk with a stylist named Antonio who had bigger tits than me, well then, I would. NANCY: Oh GODS I can't cope!! *giggles inanely* excerpt: If my asshole were the Bronx, then perhaps one could picture my coochie as the glittering isle of Manhattan. Stash's tongue took the 6 train local downtown, got stuck around the Upper East Side, hopped on a crosstown train which made my whole body shake, and by the time her mouth hit Christopher Street, I was in heaven. NANCY: *busts a gut laughing* Dear Lord I'm DYING here!! Send in the goddamn water!!! EWOK: *The Goddamn Water enters stage left, somewhat bewildered* NANCY: You know, that comment suits this farce pretty damn well...just change the line a little to be like: "the water entered, looking all cool and deep like that lake in that James Bond flick Goldeneye that parts to reveal a big aerial underneath so you know that nothing that wet is ever what it seems, and stared around bewildered." That's the writing style we're talking about here. *g* EWOK: "Nothing that wet is ever what it seems"? Nancy, get out of that gutter RIGHT NOW! NANCY: I can't, I'm being inspired by Viv and LN, creativity is flowing out from me, like a flute that spots a talented mouth and is so excited she plays all by herself... *SLAPS SELF* EWOK: And this one time, at band camp... NANCY: No no no no no that's quite enough! *g* If you bring Alyson Hannigan into the mix here I'll never get out of the gutter... EWOK: Add Alyson Hannigan, stir well. Do I get to lick the spoon? NANCY: Well, that pretty much covers *this* story. Why does Viv Darkbloom do this to us, Ewok? Normally we're such clean minded, good, wholesome reviewers. NANCY: Rating? Errr...10 for originality and concept, and an 8 for how well they carried it off. Mindblowingly funny. EWOK: I was looking at 8 myself. Amongst other things. NANCY: Yeah, this story could make you hallucinate... EWOK: Nancy, be honest: do you think my fur needs a trim?