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					southern comfort by t novan http://www.ausxip.com/fanfiction/s/southern_comfort.html SYNOPSIS: Yankee Soliders...err...soldiers arrive on Southern Belle Rebecca's doorstep during the last weeks of the Civil War. Leading them is the dashing Colonel Charlie, who is not who he seems - but what we expect. NANCY: You know, I'd be fine with this story if I could just figure out what a solider is. I know there's heaps of soldiers running around, but that solider keeps popping up. For every one soldier, there's three soliders. EWOK: And they're just getting solider and solider. *flexes* excerpt: It would be shear suicide on my part try walk out onto the porch with a gun in my hands. EWOK: Death by scissors? Has someone been watching "Dead Again"? NANCY: I actually thought she was talking about suicidal sheep. But they don't carry guns either. As for "Dead Again", there are so many past and present tenses in here, that could possibly explain the inconsistency. The author got a bit muddled? EWOK: War IS hell. With timezones. NANCY: Why do I get the feeling that for all this gender swapping and civil war talk this is just another way to get to the sex? I mean, it's well written and all (despite the tense-confused soliders), so that is almost distracting me from the inevitable, but all the same... EWOK: Why not? You're always griping about plotless sex stories, Nance. Why shouldn't this one be praised for at least making an effort to obfuscate the inevitable? NANCY: OK, I'll give you that. However, is it just me or is this choice of phrasing really unfortunate? (my emphasis) excerpt: I've been alone for a long time Charlie. How do you suppose I solve that little problem?" She cocks her head and lifts her brows. "Oh come on Charlie don't look so shocked. EWOK: It's your training in Freudian psychology showing through. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. JANICE: Never smoked a real Cuban, eh? NANCY: Down girl! excerpt: I moan and she picks up the pace of the kiss as her hands join our lips. What the hell are her hands doing in her mouth? *slaps them away* EWOK: Chronic nailbiter, obviously. That ending was so sweet. Hmmm, many highs and lows here. I think I'll settle for around 7. EWOK: 6. Great premise, but didn't capitalise on it enough. Or perhaps I'm just too demanding. JANICE: Have a cigar.