It's Your Love
His boots found their way to the Stars End Bar. It was a great distance from his home at Wispy Willow but his boots had always carried themselves over the miles with ease. It was almost as if he was being pulled there, and in a way he was; his heart forced him to cover the dusty miles and then the cold roads of the big city streets. Some methods were faster and less tiring but the reassurance of his boots under the ground allowed him time to think. The endless miles evaporated quickly under those booted feet as the mind traveled even further then his body would.
He hated going where he had to go. It was too loud, too crowded and the smell that surrounded it was a far cry from his beloved country and the sweet smell of jasmine in the air. The tall buildings obscured the skyline, sometimes blotting out the sun, and if you wanted to see a star...well let's just say you had to have an artist paint you a pretty picture. Even nature's most beautiful creations were hidden as man painted a new scene. His mood always turned foul when he walked through the dirty city streets. It seemed people were nice enough when they had plenty of space to roam. But those forced to live not but maybe a few steps one another--well their attitude was more then he could handle. They talked fast, wheeled and dealed faster, and had a ripping attitude when it came to people who did not understand their ways. It seemed the concrete leeched all the patience from their bodies and any understanding that might be found, lifted them high into the air, and lost them in the smoke and lights.
Still this is where she so often was. She was what he heard city people term "A people person." She moved about the city with a practiced grace and she seemed to know everyone and everything here. He couldn't count the times when he had come to the Inns, seeing her surrounded with a large group of people. It always unnerved him, being a loner by trade he was suddenly pressing flesh like a damn politician. People were always kind and didn't laugh at his different country ways but he knew he didn't belong here and felt they knew it too. It was a great relief for both parties he imagined, city folk and country boy alike, to part company after a few quick greetings. It was pleasant but the two worlds just belonged in their appropriate spots.
Still, after all his grumbling and dislike, he stood out in front of one of those big city places he disliked so much. He had come with a purpose; he had a reason for being here instead of just socializing. He hoped when his business here was done he would be able to retreat back to his home as quickly as possible. Thinking about the task before him however, he didn't see it as likely. No, this deed would no doubt involve an uproar and people racing after him and getting in his face. Smiling darkly to himself he thought, "maybe I shoulda brought a gun. I can go in, then slip out guns a blazing." Robert just had to laugh as his hand found the door handle. His cowboy hat shook slightly from side to side as he let the loud noise from inside wash over him. "Naw, better not do that Robert, You'd end up spending time in a friggin' city jail. That would be worse then dying a thousand deaths." He smiled at his own thoughts as he stepped in.
>"Must it always smell so bad? " Robert had reared horses and fed pigs but he could still find no smell worse then a city bar. The sweat of people, along with the smoke and smells best left in the outhouse always raced past him in an effort to get to the outside air. His eyes shut as he adjusted momentarily, people in a hurry to race in and out bumping him from his position at the door. He stood there looking through the smoke and groups of people. She was here somewhere. It was just a matter of finding her. But even that was difficult, so many ladies around here looked the same it was often confusing for him. He would never have admitted it to Tisha, but one night he found a lady of similar build and walked up behind her saying some rather overly friendly words. He wasn't sure what had caused him to blush more, the fact he had mistaken another lady for Tisha or the other woman's even friendlier response.
He moved his eyes through the bar until they finally rested upon her. He smiled to himself as he saw her sitting at the bar chatting pleasantly with whoever the tender was. He muttered to himself "Thank gawd, she is alone..." As her eyes spotted him he pressed a pleasant smile to his lips and waved and began to walk over. Offering up a silent prayer as he moved, "Dear gawd, please let me get out of here as soon as possible..." He stood before her his happy smile still in place.
He strained to hear her over the noise of the bar as she explained that she had made her choice. Robert's heart clutched. She had been considering if she had still wanted a life with Robert. The recent fights and then the loss of the baby had, well, strained the relationship to the breaking point. He hadn't been around for any of it. Instead of being beside her when she needed him most he had been face down in the ground in some God forsaken hospital being cut apart by some idiot doctor. He had been too concerned with his own issues to pay her much mind. The dark, often brooding moods that seemed to run in the family, (well he and Nate both had 'em, he really couldn't remember if his ma or pa had had them.) had created a gap between the two.
Now here he stood, toying with an object in his pocket; its very small weight calmly reassuring him and forcing him to stand there and await judgement. She had hugged him and kissed him and been very friendly, but then Tisha was always that way with most anyone. He wouldn't allow himself to get his hopes up too far; perhaps being nice was all she was doing. Creating a soft cushion for him before she sent him down for the hard fall. It was an eternity waiting for the words to spill from her lips. "I love you," Tisha said, catching his mind to focus back on her. "I want to be with you." Those words sent him spinning, never in his life had Robert Braxxx felt more powerless then at that moment. He feared he would have to grab the side of the bar for support.
Time passed for him, a great deal of time in those few moments. He had killed ruthlessly and without question. He had broken laws and bent morals to suit his own needs and personal satisfaction. He questioned what he was about to do in that moment. His hand trailed out of his pocket, letting the contents fall back into the depths of his duster. Was he just using her? Was his love for her solely to satisfy his personal needs and lend an air of respectability to his life? Was he doing this just to prove to people he could settle down and be a different man? Or worse, could he be fooling himself into thinking that he had changed when all the while he was the very same man?
He dropped to one knee then. It was a long journey down, but when he hit that knee he knew what the answer was. Reaching back into his pocket he withdrew a small diamond. That diamond was all he really had left in the world. Using most all of his money and selling off a few private possessions to obtain it. All he had monetarily was wrapped in that diamond and soon all he was as a man would be offered up as well. "Tisha, will you marry me?" The words came out well but he was sure he sounded like a fool, he felt like one in any event. If any of the boys back home could see him now they would certainly be grinning from ear to ear telling each other how the mighty had fallen.
Sweet acceptance had been her response. He wasn't sure how to react and he stayed down on the ground for a good deal of time. While she responded Robert had noticed half the bar was now looking at him and his desire to melt into the floorboards was almost overpowering. Whether acceptation or rejection, he just hoped he would get an answer fast so he could get out of this infernal place. Still while he wanted to go he was happy that he was going to leave with her under his arm rather then making the lonely journey back home. He hoped he would never have to make such a journey without her again.
That night was sort of a flash. Now the moon lay full and he stood in front of their forest lake home watching something very different. The pull of the moon was tearing at Tisha; she had tried to explain but his own feelings, well his own horror had drowned out much of what she had said. He knew she was Were, but she was human so often it never really bothered him. It was just something talked about but rarely seen. She had changed before him once and he was still trying to adjust to that. Nate's former fiancée had been Were and he had trouble stomaching that; now here the same thing was right on his own doorstep and he didn't know how to handle it. Here was the very same woman to whom he had proposed to just the other night. Now he was raising his hands ready to defend himself.
She had tried to quell his fears, but as her bones cracked into a new shape and her voice changed Robert could only take a further step back. He had never feared much in his life, but when the women he loved reared back and howled upwards to the moon Robert was sure he was ready to retreat for the first time ever. They had exchanged a few words but nothing of substance. She could see his fear and no doubt in her new form smelled it as well, and why not? It rose through the air like a storm cloud and poured down on the pair like a dark winter rain.
He had told her to go hunt then, to satisfy the whatever the needs the night demanded of her. He wondered what she would kill, no, he wondered *who* she would kill. His very limited experience with Were had taught him they were not above killing people, that often they enjoyed the feast of human blood and the simple rage of the kill. He quickly shook his head, bid her a few words and turned back into the house. He had to try and figure out where the myths ended and his wife to be began. As much as he didn't want too, he looked at her differently now. He loved her but his ignorance cast so many questions he was afraid to search to deeply on how he felt.
That night Robert Braxxx slept alone. He was engaged but two days and now he slept alone in his bed. The strange thing was as much as he wanted her to be to come home, he was even more afraid of what would happen when she did...
Important: If you've enjoyed this, please read this--Copyright: 1997