Mikkaill raised the bed with the damn control. The damn cord became caught on the godsdamned rail and he started cursing. "ing thing..." He growled at it, and yet to him, all was silence. He tugged a bit, the cord came loose from the rail and the control smacked him in the forehead. He cursed again.
Myrr and her companion had already taken the steps to the seventh floor. The elevator had been rather buggy lately, and wasn't exactly the most reliable form of transportation in the Hospital. Legs were far better. All security was "dealt with," as always. She hadn't spoken much more than two words to the man beside her the entire way to the Hospital, and she didn't change that routine now. She had paused at the door, her hand upon the knob and
heard the faint mumble of swearing inside. It could be either one of them and she wouldn't know until she opened the door. She chuckled to herself and could only imagine which it was and why they were on the bent side of the hanger. Quietly, the knob turned and she duly slipped into the room without much fanfare. She smiled as she saw Mik sitting up in bed, the control dangling from his hand and a rather annoyed look on his face.
~That's gotta be a helluva way to wake up ...~ The voice drifted into his head ... she already knew that he couldn't hear, so had already made "arrangements" for such an occasion.
That he was startled was an understatement. He turned his head sharply toward the door. ~Myrr!~
She smiled and nodded, walking towards the chair that she had, in days previous, placed by the side of his bed. Her outstretched finger dusted along Ric's foot. ~Well, at least your memory hasn't been damaged.~
The look on his face transformed from annoyance to pleasure, even though that didn't immediately alleviate the dark circles beneath his eyes and the abrasions on his jaw and cheek. ~It's wonderful to see you..~ His mind voice held intense emotions for her in it's sphere -- there was no room for dishonesty or false emotions in the sendings he made. Love, joy, even a twinge of faint guilt and embarrassment all wove around the words his mind spoke
to hers. ~This is the clearest our thoughts have ever been. How'd you manage that?~ He knew she wasn't telepathy active but that she had her ways. Dropping the damn control box, he reached out a hand to her, expecting her to take his.
She lowered herself into the chair slowly, gently, easily and laid one hand upon her leg and the other into his. ~Mmm, it's rather good to be seen. I haven't been out too much lately ... had things to take care of~
He could tell that there was something different about her ... she was more than happy to see him and to see that he was all right and glad to see her as well. There was also some sense of profound joy, perhaps even described as ecstasy, and he knew not the root of that. There was also some deep underlying current of urgency and panic, like she was searching for something she wasn't sure she'd find and had a deadline to meet. With the way it all
flowed through him, he was tempted to ask what was wrong; but, in his current state, he could hardly help her.
~You're looking better than you did the first time I saw you ... a few days ago that is,~ She gave his hand a slight squeeze as she smiled. ~As for how I am managing this ... ~ Another smile, enigmatic. ~It's been arranged ... ~
~You always were good at arranging things.~ In turn at her touch, he let his hand fall gently onto hers. He saw her scrutinizing him that casual way she had which didn't bother him at all. He merely took the opportunity to scrutinize her in return while he "spoke" to her. ~I took the worst of it on my back. Again. his mind let drift amusement even as he laughed softly in a voice he couldn't hear Spine hurts like hell and moving brings new
adventures in painland.~ He saw the deep seated joy, the sort that he had never seen in her before and he wondered what had changed. He had changed as well. Though he had not yet spoken to Brrace - contrary to Ric's belief that maybe they would learn more once Mik had awakened - he was anxious to do so. He was anxious too, to talk to his men; to those who had done their best to save him and his brother; to those in the hospital. He wanted to make
some sort of connection rather than be bottled up in this 7th floor white hell. He was angry, but it was muted; he was deaf and hated being helpless. Beyond all that, there was a tangible fire inside him that deafness and helplessness could not quench. ~But I have to thank the Gods. I'm alive. And so is Ric.~ He sighed tiredly, softly aloud as he lightly patted her hand and withdrew his as he leaned back against his pillow.
As he leaned back, she leaned forward, as though he was pulling her along, even though it was doubtful that he had strength enough to do that. A finger drifted over his wrist for a moment, tucking a strip of gauze back under one of it's own wrappings. ~Yes, he is. And he's doing very well, actually ... considering. I talked to him yesterday in the early morning for a few, before I made him rest.~ A curl which had fallen forward was tucked behind
her ear slowly, the heel of her hand grazing against her jawline ~Have you had a chance to talk to him yet?~
~Yes. When I first woke up, he wasn't ... there.~ He tapped his temple. ~But the second time, we had a chance to connect. It's so good to be with him... so near for so long.~ He sighed again, a pleased sound. ~If I didn't have him in my head... ~ He shook his head, refusing to think about how he'd be in a strait jacket if he were deaf and alone with it; he didn't know how people managed the condition without being born that way. He was
glad Myrr was talking to him though, very glad and he knew she'd arranged their mental communication safely and he thought in Freemen fashion that it must be interesting to set up a "secure mental channel"... it amused him to think it and he smiled, even if it hurt to do so. ~It really is good to see you, Myrr,~ he said again and stared at her a bit.
A finger was placed to her lips in the archaic gesture of silence. He knew she didn't want to think about Ric not being in his head -- as in not being there at all -- either. She smiled around the finger and after a brief shake of her head to clear the thought from both their minds, the finger was lowered back against his hand as she chuckled softly, even mentally and glanced down. ~It hasn't been that long since you've seen me, Mikkaill. To be
honest, I'm surprised that you're glad to see me.~ She glanced back up at him, catching his stare full on and holding it with an unwavering and unblinking amethyst gaze.
It was strange how she could seem so utterly calm and yet so manic all at once. For a moment, he didn't know what to say and then, still in that locked glance, he actually spoke aloud, even though it was strange to not hear himself - as a result, his voice was soft - he was ever conscious of Brrace's written note glaring in his mind "STOP SCREAMING," and so avoided it at all costs. He only hoped she could hear him. "It seems like a lifetime ago,
Myrr."
Her eyes widened just slightly at the assault to her ears, so used was she to the silent speech already. She smiled what seemed to be an ancient smile of understanding and empathy that reached her eyes as she nodded ~More than you know, Mikkaill ... more than you could ever guess.~
It was always that way with Myrr. Always more than he knew. And he felt the same, at that moment. There were more things in his life that were happening, more changes in he, himself, than she could know or he could make clear.
The qualities and features of her face softened as she leaned back a bit in the chair, her hand falling to merely the mattress. ~Your back will feel better in time ... I know that they have been giving you nothing but water. Would you like something maybe a bit stronger to drink perhaps?~ It was against protocol for sure, and Asche would have her hide if she knew, but Myrr also knew Mikkaill, and that if nothing else, a drink might just ease his
back and his mind.
It surprised him. ~Don't they have me on painkillers?~ If they didn't boy, he was either better off than he thought or he would have someone's hide! There'd been bits of wooden table shot into his body along with nails and shrapnel from the grenades them selves, nasty sons-of-bitches those things. His chest still hurt from where he and Ric had been dually pierced by a section of the roof.
She chuckled softly and nodded, ~Yes, of course they have you on painkillers. And I only said 'a bit' stronger ... I didn't say I was going to give you the most potent drink I owned.~
Clearly she thought it was something that would be normal for him ... something familiar, that they had done many a time in the past ... something that hadn't been radically changed by recent events. Even so, inside, he was cautious. So often she treated him like he was a child. He laughed softly, a baritone chuckle that rolled a bit and came up short because of the dryness of his throat, ~Gimme yer best shot, gorgeous.~ A silly play on words
maybe, but he found he wanted a drink, once it was mentioned; lush that he was. ~Just be wary of the 7th floor Drill Sergeant. Woman shoulda been a Freemen,~ he was saying in her mind when the dark man came in. He remembered Marcayl Tranarr from the night a lifetime ago when he and Ric kidnapped her, but that was the only time he'd ever seen him. The night Myrr had mentally interrogated a Freemen Sergeant who had, by her word, been a traitor.
The Freemen who'd cost Ric one good knee and who's actions had changed their lives forever died at the end of Ric’s own gun. He was pleased she’d not killed him herself. Ric had needed to do it.
Giving his trademark smile and courtly inclination of his head, Marcayl handed a small fifth bottle to Myrr. "It is good to know that some things have stayed constant in Madam's life." With a look cast to Myrr, which she ignored, he backed his way out of the room, with a discerning look over Ricohh.
Myrr fixed Mikkaill with a calm and reassuring look, almost as though she was patting his hand. Again, as if he were a child and needed to trust her. There was nothing to worry about, the look said. Nothing to panic over.
His eyes shifted, but he trusted Myrr still and always. She had never betrayed him or Ric and he wouldn't doubt her or those she trusted; despite what had happened to everything he'd held to be true in the last month. He watched the man come and go, noted the look Marc gave to his brother and his eyes lingered on the door until it shut. Up until Iminn, in fact, the only person around Myrr he didn't really trust, was himself.
~Mirandahh doesn't even know that I am here ... and there are always ways around everything,~ Myrr said. She smiled that smile again as she started to unscrew the bottle top, just as though Marc had never entered, nor left. An inner sigh of pleasure overtook Myrr at some private thought ... it even cracked a smile anew on her lips as she handed the bottle over to him. He wondered what it was. ~Just go slow with this ... your next blood work
won't be for another eighteen hours, so we should be OK.~
~Madam, are you trying to get me drunk so that you might take advantage of me?~ It was a tease he hoped fervently he could still engage in ... though even as he said it, his face colored -- which couldn't be missed in his current condition -- and he looked down at the bottle as he took it in his hand rather than at her. ~Sorry... that was...~ Oh... Good time for a drink, he thought to himself. Promptly, he suited thought to action.
She sat back far enough in the chair for her legs to cross and an impish half grin peeked out around the corners of her mouth. ~Oh, like I would need to get you drunk to do that ... ~ She flashed him a quick wink and found a great deal of amusement in his blush and subsequent apology.
He remembered precisely how drunk he'd gotten with her in the past and smiled and coughed a little even with the watered down weakness of the liquor. It was a good soft cough; the sort that said, yeah, you really are alive, you dope. ~Nope, never would have needed to get me drunk.~ Past tense. Teasing was one thing, but the future held only that for them. He nodded and took another, slower sip.
A finger raised up to signal that that was enough for a first draught, even with 'watered' down liquor. ~Now, me on the other hand ...you would have had to get extremely drunk.~ She teased back and pursed her lips together in a grin which raised her cheeks and crinkled her eyes.
He smiled, gently, leaned forward to return the bottle and said, ~I know.~
She took the bottle from him and sipped a small bit. Mindspeak, thankfully, was not hampered by such things. ~You don't give yourself enough credit. Neither of you do ... ~ She gave a light chuckle there as she lowered the bottle and balanced it on the edge of the bed, within his easy reach. ~You should be out of here within a week, Mikkaill. I don't see you staying in here longer than that.~
~A week?~ He didn't believe that at all. Not with how difficult it was to hear and move or how badly Ric's eyes seemed to be. ~That'd be nice ... ~ he told her noncommittally. He'd seen bullet wounds take up to a month to heal over and even then the man wounded wasn't always the same. She might be right, certainly. He just didn't think she was. A month, maybe six weeks... maybe longer. He was itching to be whole; he just knew that he
wasn't.
He didn't think either that how he reacted to the question of her needing to be drunk to make love to him, and him not needing to be, had to do with credit at all. But, he wasn't going to argue.
~Was there anything that you wanted me to bring to you? Send out for you? Anything at all?~
He in fact had a letter he wanted to get to Jonns... but he didn't know if Myrr could get it there. He'd been planning to ask one of the grunts on the floor; but he felt she needed to do something for him for some reason. ~I need to get a letter to my field commander at the Hope Relay Station.~
She rested the bottle against his leg and her hand settled against her stomach. The hand that had been holding the bottle was suspended in the air, palm up as she smiled, as if expecting him to hand it over right then and there. There were always ways to do anything. They both knew that. He knew she looked at this as a friend doing a favor for a friend, nothing more. Had he known the things she knew, of all that had happened in her life, he
wouldn't have asked her to do anything that dangerous. He tugged it out from under his pillow... it was sealed with a bit of steri-tape he'd peeled off the tubing of his buddy IVan. The letter itself didn't have vital information in it - was more just a reassurance that he was well and that the Site was still a go. Even so, it was dangerous for her to carry something for Freemen.
~Thanks, Myrr.~
~You really need to learn how to find better hiding places, Mikkaill.~ She chuckled softly as she folded the letter once and then again and placed it in a pocket. ~Anything else, love?~
~I can't think of anything... at the moment.~ It was strange to have her call him that... after everything Ric had said in the shack in Immin... and it prickled him oddly, but he smiled anyway. He knew that she didn't yet know what Ric had told him, and that she could only imagine. That was a dangerous thing with her, as she could have quite the imagination. He knew by what she'd already said that was partly why she was uncomfortable. Really, he
was glad to see her; he thought to himself how she gave herself too little credit too; and smiled slightly, privately.
She shifted in the chair, as though she would rise from it soon, though she remained seated. ~You should rest, Mikkaill ... ~ Somehow, the voice was quieter in his mind. ~You need it ... ~
It was so odd... that in that moment, with the soft voice in his head he felt something subtle had changed... something he couldn't quite put his finger on. ~I can't do much else here but rest.~ A soft mental laugh flickered across the still strange connection between them.
Her smile was warm, fond, but somehow ... reserved, like she was backing away. ~At least it's something you enjoy ... ~
Enjoy resting? She must be crazy!
~And,~ she went on, ~you have Ric here with you ... it won't be much longer, Mikkaill.~ She was almost jittery. She glanced around the bed, checking quickly to see that what should have been in place was indeed, in place before she looked again at him. ~I should probably go ...~ Again in that quiet tone of mind; ~Feel free to keep the bottle, just make sure you keep it under the mattress, close to the middle, so that no one finds it.~
Go... He didn't want her to go but he didn't know how he could possibly make her stay without making a fool of himself. ~I will. Thank you for bringing it Myrr.... ~ Gods it was an awful feeling... he glanced over at Ric and took a calming breath. The sight of his brother's face always eased his soul. It was a mutual thing between them.
~Anytime ... it's what I'm here for ... ~ She rose from the chair and leaned down just enough to breathe a kiss over his forehead. ~You'll probably see me again before you leave ... I'm just glad that you're OK and that I know you do more than sleep now.~
He reached out and gripped her hand. Her skin felt both cold and hot, clammy and sweaty. But her face was calm. ~Myrr... Myrr I want you to know... ~
Her head tilted up and away enough so that she could look at him directly. ~Yes?~
He floundered just a bit. ~... You know how I feel. Thank you for coming to see me. I needed it.~ What else.. what else could he say that would impart those feelings and maintain that loyalty he'd felt he regained with Ric through the bombing and the recovery? Maybe nothing. Maybe it was enough.
A smile floated across her lips as she shook her head and halfway sat on the edge of the bed. ~I'm not too sure what all I know anymore, Mikkaill ... There have been many things happening in the past three
weeks ... many things. They are not bad, necessarily, not at all ... in fact, they are rather fantastic in my point of view ... but they are complex. I'm not going to go into it all now -- I will tell you, or have Ric tell you after I tell him -- when you are released from here and well again. Suffice it to say ... that trust and the like are things that don't exist at the moment ... nor does anything else, save two things. But, you are very
welcome ... I have been here almost since you were brought in... ~
He smiled warmly and squeezed her hand. He knew who had been here, he'd already had reports of how things had gone. He was fairly certain that Myrr had been pissed off that Brrace had chosen Drachenn to attend them first. But he didn't understand the rest of what she said. He knew he'd missed a lot; being asleep so long. Being deaf was worse; because even aware, he missed things as a result of that deafness. That she hadn't been trusting
anyone much since Ric hit her or Williams had done his clever little bit of hypnosis on her. She hadn't really trusted Mik since he'd fallen in love with Bliss. He couldn't blame her, but damn her, she was never clear! What was it she had to tell Ric first? That she was really in love with Williams? It fit in to his fears; yet, he kept it to himself. It was, from now on, their business. It would only be his if Ric was hurt; and then, only to how
he could help his brother heal. ~I expected that of you, I think,~ he said finally.
~Oddly, so, I'm sure ... ~ A smile colored with both warmth and sadness lighted upon her lips. ~I don't know what he told you, and I don't want to know ... I don't want to even get into it, Mikkaill. But ... for whatever it's worth ...I'm sorry. ~
He shook his head, his mind voice so full of taut emotion. ~No ...~ He paused, she could be sorry, and he could take that for what it was worth instead of immediately denying that it was her fault. Because in a way that would cheapen what she just said to him and he didn't want to do that. And in a way, it was her fault as much as his, or Ric's. He'd let her take her share of the blame. They were all adults. There were so many
other more important things to deal with. ~I wanted you to do what you did. He knows that... I'm sorry too. I promise to the best of my ability that it won't happen again. I was disrespectful of you and what you have with Ric. I won't be again. I love you both too much.~
She cut him off with a level look and there was a firmness in her tone. ~I don't want to hear it, Mikkaill. There's things that ...~ She paused with a sigh and shook her head lightly. ~Just ... I don't want to hear it. I'm sorry for driving any sort of wedge between the two of you ... I won't let it happen again. I will simply do what I do, what I have to do, take care of who I have to take care of, at home, and that will be the end of it. I
won't finish what anyone else started.~
She didn't understand. He wanted to explain that she didn't drive the wedge alone; but he knew she'd come to understand that in time and he smiled, respecting her desire now not to go through it all ... knowing for them both there were bigger things to deal with. ~I just had to say it once, that's all. I don't think for either of us there's a need to mention it again.~ Belatedly, he wondered who she meant when she said, I will ... take care
of who I have to take care of, at home. He thought, perhaps bitterly, that she meant Williams. He hoped it wasn't so; but he wouldn't mention it one way or another.
~Soon, I think, you will understand better. Very soon.~
He sensed in her mental tone that there were things to be said; things she couldn't say. But he could talk only about what he did know... and in that vein, he knew what he meant even if what she said was unclear - and deliberately so. He understood that he had to compartmentalize his feelings for her into their proper place ... once that was done; other things would be easier whatever they were. And there were things she probably knew about
him that he didn't know she knew; but more, there were many things she didn't know. Those he was unable to discuss with her, even as she was unable to discuss all with him. It all balanced out.
~If Ric wakes up and you talk to him before I do ... tell him that we are moving the Curtilage to a new location ... ~
~I'll tell him. You'll let us know where?~
She only chuckled and looked down at the bed. It was the epitome of the gesture that said 'like I wouldn't' or to that effect.
He held onto the bottle she'd given him and wondered how he'd get it under the mattress, looked at her and grinned at the expression on her face. ~I'd offer to help you move; but ... ~
~And have you see my computer files, my files, my nightgowns and lingerie? I hardly think so.~
~Show me yours, I'll show you mine... ~ He was feeling much better and let out a warm, refreshed sigh.
She looked up to him with a wry grin and a slightly arched brow. ~You have been in here for almost two weeks, half of that unconscious. And I am a nurse. You don't think that I haven't already seen yours?~
He gasped, appalled. ~You've seen my lingerie? Myrr!~
The grin broke out fully as she tossed her head back slightly, the perfect expression of arrogance, feigned though it was. ~I've seen more than that, Mik.~
He colored despite laughing out loud ~I have no more secrets... ~ She'd have seen the patchwork quilt of scars across his back. She was the only woman he'd ever wanted physically who had. She had changed his dressings, bathed him... if she'd seen anything... it was one more thing to reassure him.
She gave a quick darting glance towards the bedpan with the catheter tubing coiled inside of it and got a mused little smile about her face. ~No, you certainly do not have any more secrets.~
He laughed again and looked down at the bottle ~Damn, I'm gonna need this now... no secrets, no dignity either.~ He laughed gently, pleased. ~Not really fair.. ~ Haven't seen all yours, he thought the last part to himself but it would have been obvious.
She couldn't help but laugh along with him, warmly as her head canted to the side, regarding him again ~Your dignity is very much intact ... far more so than if I had not been here at the right times. I never said that I played fair, now did I? Question is ... are you able to make it across the room to take care of such things yourself or are you still in need of assistance?~
He blushed even more deeply. Damn not having a beard! ~I think I can make it on my own now.~ Suck it up soldier. He heard Malley's long dead voice in his head.
She was teasing him ruthlessly and it showed on every inch of her face. ~You're sure, now?~
~Oh. Very sure. Yes. Thank you.~ Gods, but his skin was hot! He was grinning ear to ear, even so. Because even if he hadn't gotten to show her what he had, she got to see it for herself and in some way there was some twisted satisfaction in that for him. She licked her lower lip after she sucked it into her mouth and bit upon it lightly to stem the grin, which did eventually soften into a smile after her lip was released. Really, he knew that
she was professional about her job, and didn't see it as any big deal at all or embarrassing. It was just the way things were and what had to be done ... it was as simple as that.
~Yes, your dignity is still very much intact ... just be sure to help Ric across the room .. his bandages don't come off for another couple of days. Somehow, I don't think that you want to have to take care of him in that way.~
It wouldn't have been the first time really and he just smiled softly about that. ~It's different when it's your brother ... ~ He nodded. He would help Ric as much as Ric needed him. Mik was always ready to help Ric; to be there for Ric. Ric just didn't usually need him. He wasn't planning on letting anyone separate them again any time soon protocols and secrets be damned.
~Yeah, it is ... ~ It came quietly again as she smiled to him. He was sure he could see a struggle in her; but it passed quickly. Again that feeling overcame him of something important she had to tell him. Her finger barely touched against his chin. ~Get some rest, Mikkaill ... I've taken up enough of your time.~
~Yeah. All right you, get outta here and let a man, sleep, will ya?~ He smiled at the touch and settled back, for the moment, the bottle in his hand ~Thanks for this... I'll see you soon.~ He knew he would, just
not how soon.
She flicked the end of his nose. ~Geezus, just can't make you men happy no matter what I do. Stay, go ...~ She rolled her eyes playfully and touched her finger to his lips ~Hopefully, you will, yes ... ~
~That's right, baby! We gotta keep you guessin'. Otherwise you take over the world.~
~You say that as if it hasn't already happened ... ~ She quirked a brow and just smiled. Her smile looked all to evil to him at that moment and he was certain he didn't want to know why! ~Mikkaill ... honey? Go to sleep.~ She chuckled and shook her head, rising from the bed. ~And go slow on the bottle. It's all you're getting.~
He was drifting a bit already, exhausted from even just the mental effort the conversation had taken not to mention the emotional cost. He nodded ~I'll be careful... ~ He watched her rise, could smell the perfume of her skin, smiled, but didn't close his eyes. Without hearing his sight gave him something to rely on... and when it slept it was so dark and silent... that all he could hear were his dreams.
~Better be ... ~ she chuckled to herself at a private thought. ~Just get better ... we're going to need you ...~ She left that enigmatic statement hang in the air as she started towards the door. She stopped by Ric's bed to place a kiss to his cheek and readjust the covers to his bed. She clearly wanted to stay a bit longer to see if he woke up, but then again, she seemed anxious to go.
Mik almost wished Ric was awake for an excuse to keep her here longer, but just watched... without a clue to the secret she thought about.
Myrr she gave a final smile and a quick wink back over her shoulder to him as she opened the door. ~Sleep ... and don't dream ... ~ The door opened just that much further and she slipped back out into the hall.
He turned to watch his brother's face, gentle in repose, until sleep claimed him.
|
