Now, get ready to find out if your screen name sucks! Add up your points as you go, and remember the number for your final score.

Step 1: Cliche Rating
If you have "Lil" in your screen name, give yourself 10 points and immediately change your screen name.
If you have Cute, Hot, Princess, Sweet, Baby, or any variation of the previously mentioned, give yourself 7 points for each (and a slap to the face characteristic of Rick James)
If you have an abbreviation of these names, such as "QT," give yourself 3 points.
By looking at your screen name, if you think you appear to be characteristic of an annoying valley girl, give yourself 2 points.
If you are an annoying valley girl, give yourself 2 more points.
If you use a combination of L's and I's to make your screen name look "cool," give yourself 1 point (and remind yourself that you're not cool or original).

Step 2: Things in a Screen Name
If you have your favorite band in your screen name, give yourself 3 points (mainly for not having any better ideas for it)
If you have soccer in your screen name, give yourself 5 points. (and America doesn't like soccer, no matter how much you want us to)
If you have basketball in your screen name, give yourself 4 points.
If you have football in your screen name, give yourself 3 points.
If you have Death, Dying, Depressed, or any other remotely emo-looking phrase or buzz word, give yourself 5 points and remind yourself that your life isn't that bad.

Step 3: Numbers
If you have 420 in your screen name, give yourself 3 points and remind yourself that nobody cares if you like marijuana and advocate its legalization and/or that Adolf Hitler was not a good man.
If you have 69 in your screen name, give yourself 3 points and remind yourself you are a quasi-whore who is desperate for attention. If you have the current year in your screen name, give yourself 2 points and remind yourself that in order to prevent looking like a dumbass, you'll have to change your screen name in 365.25 days or less.

Step 4: Spelling
If you have intentionally spelled something wrong in your screen name, give yourself 3 points.
If you are just "retarted" (yes, the d was replaced with a t intentionally) and spelled something wrong, give yourself 3 points.
If you have replaced any S with a Z, give yourself 2 points.

Step 5: Tidbits
If you have xo or ox in your screen name, give yourself 2 points.
If you have EP, CV, or any other symbol of your school in your screen name, give yourself 2 points and remind yourself that school sucks.

Step 6: Bonuses!
If people you know could instantly recognize who you are due to your screen name, take away 1 point from your total.
If DeadAIM, AIM+, or Trillian mean anything to you, take away 1 point from your total.
If you know what "aim:goim" would do, take away 1 point.

Now, tally your score and either write down or memorize the number.

20 and above: You are a fucking asshole. People cringe when they see your screen name pop up onto their monitors. Your screen name is so awful that hurricanes have run from Kansas in sight of it. Even Bob Sagat is laughing at how gay you are. You are probably extremely insecure and don't want to appear as even remotely original or anything but "lil" and "hot," because that would be soooo totally uncool.
14-19: It is likely that you need a few good slaps to the face. You are not a lost cause, however. There is still hope for you to change your screen name quickly. You might have just been suckered into a shitty screen name by means of boredom or having a momentary memory lapse.
9-13: Though your screen name probably still represents that you have no personality, you are not all that bad. It could be worse. At least your name can't be "CuteLilHott PrincessChick69." If it is, you are a lying, cheating scum, and you should refer yourself to the "20 and above" category.
5-8: I can handle talking to you, but only at times. Don't push your luck, and don't expect anyone else to like your screen name either.
0-4: You are probably pretty cool. You may have made a few errors, but hey, shit happens. Not everyone can be a perfect 1337.
Less than 0: You are fucking awesome. Oceans part at your call, mountains crumble at your voice; even 50 Cent cowers in fear when you walk down the street. In fact, you are almost as cool as me, and you have permission to talk to me at any time.