Notes From the Cess Pool
Vol. III--It's In The Water, Part II

Hard at work at the CPPWD--for the love of God, someone stop that crazy bitch!!!

The normal outpouring of stupidity in Cess Pool has slowed to a mere trickle in recent editions of "It's Your Call."  This webmaster believes this strange and unlikely phenomenon can only be explained by the New Water--the Cess Pool Public Water District is surely tainting the town's water supply with some kind of high-falutin' smart drug.  Oh, the humanity!

While the following letters may not seem all that genius to you, the reader, please keep in mind that this column has previously sported such gems as "if my wife has a spell someone's going to hear about it" and "I ain't got one of them fancy thousand-dollar- a-month jobs or nothing, but I ain't stupid."  By Cess Pool standards, the following are Nobel material.

(Originally printed 5/13/00)

"To that lady that nicked somebody else's car when they opened their door, did you ever think about apologizing?  That would have been the proper thing to do, and it could have made all the difference."

"My thought for the day is I bet if the administrators and secretaries of the school district had to turn off their central and window air conditioners, school would not be held in session on these hot days."

"This is to the lady at (a store):  don't give that hateful foul mouth the satisfaction of upsetting you.  She obliviously has problems if she treats people that way.  I am very sorry for the loss of your dear mother and I wish you some comfort this Mothers Day."
Note:  the "oblivious" typo here is not mine, but Cess Pool News's.  I type these AS THEY APPEAR so as to preserve the idiocy in all its glory.

And This Volume's Winner Is:

"I would like to make a suggestion for people who have garage sales off the highways.  If you would put a sign about a fourth of mile before your turn and say something like 'garage sale next right,' then would have time to slow down and make our turn if we wanted to go.  When you put it on the road, there is no time to slow down and turn and you have to turn around and come back, which most people will not do.  I am sure you would get a lot more business if you give people enough time to get ready to turn where the garage sale is."

Okay...now that I've had a chance to really READ these, I guess the "anti-stupid syrum" they're adding to the water is no more effective than the fluoride they added to the water when I was a mere grade school tot.  I thank my lucky stars that "It's Your Call" was not around for THAT uproar of intelligent thought...

Go Back to My Home Page--quickly, before your brain cells begin to die off

Go Back to Notes From the Cess Pool because you still find the ignorance fascinating.

Go to the next Volume of Notes From the Cess Pool, because you just can't get enough, you sick bastard.