Rocky Road 3
by SmutQueen

…Three!"

Mulder's hand flew out of the book slot, across the cabdriver's chest, knocking something…soft. He landed on his butt smack on the concrete. The buxom librarian landed smack on top of him, and together they rolled to the bottom of the library steps....smack…smack!…smack…smack!

Scully hurried after them. Mulder found himself staring right into the librarian's heavily-mascaraed eyes. She was completely on top of him, her generous chest pressing into his own muscular, lean, tight, well-conditioned pectorals.

"Eeek!" said the librarian.

"Oof!" said Mulder, realizing his hand was between her legs, and her hand was on his…boy toy.

"HEY!" shrieked Scully. A split-second later, the librarian had been torn from atop Mulder and he found himself looking up into Scully's blazing eyes. "Don't you dare try to pull that one again, Agent Aren't-I-Sexy-With-My-Innocent-Puppydog-Eyes Mulder! Detective White was bad enough!"

"Who?" Mulder sat up and rubbed his rump.

"You know full well who I'm talking about, Mulder, so don't give me that innocent act." She crossed her arms and began to pace in front of him. "What is it with you and women? What?" she threw her hands wide. "You act as if you want to-to-"

"To?" Mulder asked, trying to appear as innocent as he could.

"To… Never mind." She turned and stomped toward the taxi, where the taxi driver librarian and part-time porn star was already idling the engine.

Mulder got up and followed, still rubbing his rump. And thinking. Hard. It made his head hurt, but he was determined to puzzle out his petite partner. Why was she being so pissy? PMS, perhaps? He slid into the seat beside Scully, and they began their trip to the mini-mart in silence.

While Scully ran in to rescue the ice cream-and leave behind the condoms-Mulder continued to think. Detective White… Detective White… Who in the heck- The light flashed on in his photographic memory, and he saw her-blonde, pretty, statuesque, built, and jumping his bones in the hotel room while Scully scowled. Just like she'd been scowling a moment ago, when the buxom librarian-taxi driver-porn star had so innocently landed on top of his deliciously brawny bod.

He rubbed his head…. Hmmmm….. Maybe he should try using his psychologist's training to figure out why Scully might be bothered by other women lying on him? He thought back on all that he'd learned at Oxford, all the courses, the lectures, the papers--but no answer presented itself. Perhaps this was another mystery that would forever remain unsolved.

"She has SO got the hots for you," the taxi driver-librarian-porn star said. "I thought she was going to murder me."

"What?" Mulder's head shot up. An amazing, hard-to-believe, almost-sacrilegious-but-incredibly-exciting idea burst into his brain so hard it almost hurt. "What did you say?"

"I SAID, my life's hard enough without making enemies in the government. It's not like I make all that much money as a librarian-taxi driver-porn star, you know. I'm just a poor working girl, and I-"

"No, not that part. The first part. Something about…hots?"

"Hots?"

"My partner! Something about my partner!"

"Oh! Just that she wants you to lay her, is all." She turned around and stared at him. "You did KNOW that, didn't you?"

"I…uh…duh…I…uh…duh…."

Just then, Scully sauntered back to the car and slid into the seat beside him, slamming the door hard. Still pissed off, for sure, Mulder thought, studying her out of the corner of his eye-catching hazel-green-grey-gold-brown-blue eye. As Scully ignored him and rattled off the address of his apartment, adding a terse, "Step on it," Mulder's gaze dropped to her legs in their tight pantyhose and slid to the hem of her not-short-enough skirt.

Hot…. Was she really hot for him? Really? Wow! Really? Like, after all these years, she wanted to climb all over his really hot, lean bod and maybe lick him all over? Wow!! Already Mulder's blood was pumping hard through his veins, and into a particular region south of his belt. He crossed his legs to hide it, then changed his mind and sat up straighter. It was time for Scully to face the music. And he was going to play the tune. On his special instrument.

He slid his arm along the back of the seat. "Hey, Scully."

"What?" she groused.

Too bad she had ice cream on her lap. Cold stuff. Mulder wondered if it would keep him from succeeding. He grabbed the bag and put it on the floor, then scooched close to her. "Scully, I have a great idea."

"What?" she asked, clearly suspicious.

"Let's, um… Let's park."

"What?"

Scully's vocabulary had apparently dropped to one word. Heartened by her confusion, Mulder continued, "Well, we don't have to park to park. That is, we have a driver, so we can park right here. You know?"

Scully looked at him as if he'd grown a horn between his eyes. He had grown a horn, but it wasn't between his eyes. "What?" she demanded.

Mulder finally touched her. He actually allowed his fingers to slide along her shoulder, and he didn't turn to stone, and she didn't scream, and he was actually maybe possibly going to get to first base with her. "Park park park, Scully! Let's do it!"

"Bark, bark, bark? You sound like a dog, Mulder."

"Well, you don't look like one." There. How was that for a romantic compliment? He could do this, for sure!

"Gee, thanks." She frowned, staring hard at him. Her gaze slipped downward, over his well-shaped, manly chest, to his groinal area. His jeans grew even tighter and Mulder thought he might burst. "What is going on with you, Mulder?"

Mulder froze, trying to think of the words he needed. Heck, he and Scully had never needed words between them. Instead, he would show her what he meant. He scooted down in the seat, lying as flat as his lean, tall, rugged form could manage in the small backseat. He banged his head on the armrest. "Ouch!"

"What in the- Are you sick or something, Mulder? Why are you lying down? And get your feet off of me!" She shoved his legs from her lap.

Mulder wasn't deterred. "Hey, Scully-Babe, come here." He held his arms wide. "I know you want to, so just go ahead."

"Huh?"

"Lie down on me, Scully. Press yourself against me, and we'll take it from there." He grinned his ever-infectious but never disease-ridden grin at her. "Go ahead, jump my bones!"

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