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The uncut X-Beacon files October 2000
PADS IS DEAD – OFFICIAL!
AGM SENSATION! THE MOO MOST DISORGANISED! THE END OF PADS AS WE KNOW IT?Comfortable in the knowledge that everything was in Alphabetical Order (16th 17th 18th November, Painswick Centre), few can have expected the bombshells that hit the PaDS AGM on 21st September. It all started off quietly enough. Chairperson-For-Life Jan ‘How-did-I-get-myself-lumbered-with-this-job-and-why-can’t-I-get-rid-of-it?’ Campbell reported on a highly successful year on and off stage. Two main productions (Absurd Person Singular and An Inspector Calls) were accompanied by a series of other dramatic events (the Halloween Supper last October, Spring is in the Air in April, a convincing Queen Victoria & John Brown and the What The Butler Saw Machine for Victorian Day), not to mention a few odd (some very odd) parties, barbecues etc. A truly memorable year with audiences and membership on the up. PaDS was clearly set for a long run. Little did she know what was to follow as she handed over to the Treasurer, Andrew Leach, for the financial report. Andrew got to his feet with that grave ‘you’ve all been very naughty children’ demeanour which treasurers are supposed to adopt when addressing lesser mortals. Then came the first bombshell. ‘I’m afraid that I have to report that, for the first time since the re-birth of PaDS in 1997, we have failed to make a loss! Putting it in simple terms, despite our very best endeavours and notwithstanding the odd party, barbecue etc, we have ended up the year with more money in the bank than we started with. And we’ve still got two cases of Waitrose Hungarian red left unopened!’ The stunned silence was broken only by the gurgle of a bottle of Waitrose Hungarian red being hurriedly opened. Gradually the full import of what had been said dawned on those assembled. PaDS was doing something right! PaDS had re-established itself! PaDS was a success! PaDS would last for a thousand years! It was time for the second bombshell. ‘In view of the success of PaDS, there is only one possible way forward! Put an end to PaDS now! Thus spake the Painswick Players Patriotic Front. Now was the time, in this millennial year, for drama in Painswick to return to its roots! Once more we should become the Painswick Players, as originally launched by Lucy Hyett back in 1923. After a bit more stunned silence and a few mutterings from the Paddite Tendency, the motion was carried amid scenes of tumultuous uproar, only partially connected to the opening of second and third bottles of the Hungarian red. PaDS was dead! Long live Painswick Players! At length, the meeting was called to (Alphabetical) Order
for director Alasdair King to name the cast for the next production
(Alphabetical Order by Michael Frayn, 16th 17th and 18th November). As one, all
edged forward on their seats in excited expectation. The Most Organized
One, our revered Secretary, Jean Burgess looked quietly confident. I should, perhaps, at this point mention that Alphabetical
Order is set in a totally chaotic newspaper library, populated by disorganized
misfits and run by Lucy (the most disorganized misfit of all), which is then
completely reorganized by the quiet efficiency of the most organized Leslie, who
quietly reorganizes everything up to and including the private lives of all
concerned. In other words, the MOO was confident of extending her private
persona to the stage. ‘The Most Organized Leslie is to be played by…’
announced Alisdair with beautifully judged theatrical timing ‘…Lesley
Wolowiecz!’ There was a sharp intake of breath. ‘…and the part of the disorganized Lucy goes to… Jean
Burgess…!’ If it is possible for a seated mass on the edge of its
seats to step back in amazement, this is what it now did. Later excuses that
having Leslie played by Lesley made it easier in rehearsals and that Lucy was
the really juicy part did nothing to mollify The MOO. Her face took on an
expression between shock and outrage, something I’ve seen only once before,
many years ago, when she was offered rear-end of Daisy on the basis that
‘she’d always been a bit of a cow!’ (This man knows no fear! – Editor) Anaesthetized by this bombshell, the rest of the casting
was received in awed silence. After his masterfully taciturn performance as Mr
John Brown on Victorian Day, Benedict Kolczynski gets to play the equally
taciturn, though rather less masterful, Arnold, who is being pursued by Gill Cox
as the carnivorously maternal Nora. Kevin Parker is his usual urbanely suave
self (!) as John, who vies with the relentlessly jocular Wally (Andrew Leach)
for the attentions of the juicy Lucy. And yes, as it happens, I did get a part: as Geoffrey, an
elderly, bumptious jobsworth. (No change there, then…Editor). To see how it all turns out, make a note in your diary: Alphabetical Order, 16th 17th 18th November, Painswick Centre. Or better still, why not become part of PaDS…sorry Painswick Players: there are still one or two interesting (and fun!) offstage parts to be filled. Call Jean Burgess now on 01452-812167. Go on: make her day! Jack Burgess, Painswick Players |
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