November 30, 2001

The Adventures of Paisley Blue It feels like life has been very chaotic and crazy the last couple of days. It seems like whenever I make plans or think I have an idea of what is going on, things turn upside down. I think what I am feeling is a nearly complete loss of control over my life. It does not feel great, but I recognize that no particular individual is exactly responsible for this happening -- it's more a situation where circumstances dictate unavoidable changes. In other words, chaos. The funny part about that is, in spite of it all, I am happy. There is laughter in my days, and I sleep peacefully all night. Since moving to Kent I have not had a single nightmare. Considering that I was having them nightly since the middle of September, this is big news. I don't know where the credit goes for this change; I am just happy about this development. Something else new: for the first time in my life, I have acrylic nails. Michael has been wearing them for months, and I finally got my own set. I admit to being very nervous and even a little scared, which is why it took so many weeks for him to talk me into getting them. However, now that I have them, I love them! They are so much stronger than my natural nails, and they look even, uniform, and in my humble opinion, elegant. I got them rather short, because for one thing I'm not used to really long nails, and another thing, I do have to type on the job. Perhaps as I grow accustomed to them and they grow longer, I'll have enough surface for some artwork or airbrushing. For now they are just a solid metallic purple color with a line of black on the tips. This may sound silly, but they make me feel beautiful. Today I feel like I need all the help I can get in that department. Michael and I have been discussing Christmas gifts, and how much we can spend. It's not exactly a bumper year, what with the costs of moving, and the truck breaking down, and everything. However, we are agreed that we are going to buy something nice and expensive for each other. I am excited and anxious to see what he gets me. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I will get Michael for Christmas, as well. I want it to be something he really, really wants. I want to bring a smile to his face, like he has done for me. Yesterday morning he was on "Battle of the Sexes" on a local radio station. He was pitted against a female caller, and by answering trivia questions they earned points. He easily won -- with my help! Now we are looking for two tickets to the movies, and he has seats at The Nutcracker in December. We are so excited! He wanted to see The Nutcracker and I had been looking at prices and availability -- this is a much better way. Tonight I have to take the bus home... so I'm taking my book with me. I'm ready for this day to be over already. *sigh* ~Paisley Blue

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