The Adventures of Paisley
Blue
Happy New Year! I had a wonderful New Year's Eve with Hulk. Another aspect of the night that made it even more special is that Michael called the hotel twice - just to check on me and make sure I was safe - and it made me feel loved, safe, special... even Hulk commented on how obviously Michael cared about me.
Hulk and I used up a complete dozen packages which impressed the heck outta me. We tore that hotel room up! I mean, the sheets and blankets were torn off the bed, towels everywhere, empty cups and bottle of sparkling wine... it's not that we were being horrible pigs. We were totally into what we were doing! Yeehaw!
Walking back from the restaurant, we saw these strange lights in the sky. It turns out that we were looking at Jupiter. It won't be in the same alignment again until 2084. It felt very magickal.
Of course, the next day I endured quite a bit of teasing, but I was not the only one out getting some. Michael went out with friends and got some in a surprising way. That evening was also Butch and Angel's anniversary, and I understand they had a very good time, too.
I had hoped to get a phone call or at least an email from Hulk yesterday, but nothing. I tried to hide my disappointment and I did a reasonable job at it until Michael picked me up from work. He asked, in a very kind, sensitive manner, whether I had heard from Hulk. When I said no, he was quiet for a minute, and then he said, "Men are pigs." Pause. "Except for me."
I love Michael.
I have still been under the weather with this horrible cough, but I think it is starting to get better. I sure hope so. Last night when Michael and I got home from work, we discovered Smartalek, Butch, and Angel playing Monopoly. Michael sat down to join them, and I made supper for he and I (the others had already eaten).
Anyone who knows me knows that I don't cook very well. However, Michael talked me through all the steps, occasionally showing me things I did not know how to do -- but once he showed me how, he let me go after it. So I ended up cutting up sausage links into bite-size pieces, slicing green onions and chopping garlic, and scrambling eggs with that. We also had frozen hash browns with it, which Butch helped me with. I felt very proud when Michael ate it all and said I had done a great job.
Later we all sat down and played Pinochle together, when Smartalek and Fairygirl were in bed. During the game, we got a frantic phone call from Mechanic's mother. Apparently he had not come home the night before, and then yesterday he mysteriously left the restaurant where he is the General Manager without completing his work... and was in danger of being fired. No one knew where he was, and she was in panic mode.
Well, we called the hospitals and the jail, then the casinos and any friends we could think of. After that, Butch and Michael went out driving around to see if they could find him. Angel and I sat at the table talking until they returned. She and I had a great conversation. I don't think it was insensitive -- there was nothing else we could do to help find Mechanic. We were keeping our minds busy so we wouldn't worry and stuff.
When Butch and Michael finally returned, without success, we finished out the game and finally all went to bed. What a night!
In the last several days Michael has been very attentive to me, giving me lots of good feedback and positive reinforcement, as well as just being more affectionate. I really needed that. I found out last night from Angel that apparently someone told him (probably either her or Butch) that he doesn't show that he cares about me very much... and ever since then, he's been showing it.
Well, I don't know if that's exactly how it happened, that's just one version of events that I was told. What matters to me is that I am feeling much happier, and Michael and I are communicating verbally and nonverbally in more productive ways. I really like how he comes up behind me and kisses my neck. Of course, he knows what that does to me. *giggle*
I received an email from CB asking me if he could come home. It broke my heart. He's been gone nearly a year, and now he wants to come home. One of the things I wrote back to him was that we don't have a home anymore. I had to move on. I live with Michael now, and he doesn't disappear from my life. And I told CB even if he came back, how long would it be before he left again?
Michael knows that I still love CB, and that CB is the one who left me, not the other way around. Michael is very patient with me on this subject, which I appreciate. But he also recognizes the pain I'm in, the pain that CB has caused me, and he does his best to reassure me that he is not leaving me. After all the times I've been left, or been hurt to the point where I had to leave, it's a wonder I'm still trying to be in a relationship.
However, with Michael, I am willing to try again, and give it my best shot. May the goddess bless our lives and fill us with love towards one another.
~Paisley Blue |
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