Paisley's Journal April 1, 2002

The Adventures of Paisley Blue Things are still cruising along. Michael is still here but my memory has cleared up some and his old ways are returning some and its starting to get tense again. Mechanic is still here for which I am grateful because his presence makes my days good. I feel a bit guilty talking so about Michael, because he has gone out of his way to be nice. We all three had a very good day yesterday. We went to the Seattle Center, where the space needle is, and walked around having fun. Then we went to the theater and saw "The Time Machine" which had a twist ending. Michael and I liked the movie, and Mechanic called it corny. Even so, at the end of the day, I was glad we'd had so much fun. A couple weeks ago we had decided to divvy up the dishwashing chores in the following manner: Mechanic and Michael would do dishes during the week, and I would do them on the weekend. This arrangement was reached because during the week I'd be so tired after working all day, that I didn't feel like facing a sink full of dirty dishes. Well, last weekend I got away with not doing them, so yesterday they were determined that I was going to do my part. No amount of batting my eyelashes or sweet talk was going to get me out of facing that pile of moldering, smelly dishes and pots, so I got started. It really didn't take all that long (don't tell them I said that!) and when I was done, there was a feeling of accomplishment, like I had been productive. I'm just glad I don't have to do them everyday. Wednesday I have to face a whole day of testing at the neuropsychologist's office. It starts early in the morning and should be done by about four in the afternoon. Joy. I'm really looking forward to that, can't you tell? I know that in the end, it's going to show my weak spots and I hate looking weak. Know what I mean? But I guess we need to know, so I can get some help. Last Thursday evening I had another TIA but this time the ER doctor didn't think that was what it was. Friday morning I saw a neurologist, and he says there are definitely physical components to it, but he wants to also explore any mental or brain chemistry components. At least he was not as cold and harsh as the ER doctor. I feel kinda blah today. I don't know what to think about my life. Sometimes in the last few days I have felt very very depressed but I'm also scared to tell the guys. Everytime I bring them up, Michael is like "build a bridge and get over it." Mechanic is a little more sympathetic but he also doesn't want me to dwell on negative stuff. I don't really want to dwell on it, either. It just seems to happen. Hopefully we'll get some good news soon and life will move on. In the meantime, I spent about two hours today surfing the net looking for a new graphics set for this page. You know how I like to change things around every few days. I chose this one because it shows the beach, where I'd love to go. That trip we took to Westport a while back is still in my mind. I just fell in love with it. I want to be near the ocean, smell the fresh clean salty air, and just be near that water. It was so soothing and relaxing. I could imagine sitting out there with a new pad of paper and my art pens, and drawing for hours. Maybe have a couple of cocktails, too. LOL Friday night I drank quite a bit, which felt good. It was probably not the best use of my money, but I enjoyed the heck out of it. Well, I don't have much more to say so I will go for now. If I think of anything else, I'll do an afternoon-evening update. :-) ~Paisley Blue

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