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Paisley's Journal
May 29, 2002 |
The Adventures of Paisley
Blue
My spirits are much brighter today. In the last 12-14 hours, I have talked with Hulk, Michael, Mechanic... plus a few new guys. I watched a cool movie last night called The Glass House. Mechanic and I talked quite a bit last night, laughing and playing. I dunno... I just feel happy.
I belong to a Yahoo! Club called The Reverie Room. One of the members posted this wonderful story, which I will share here so I never forget it.
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law and 4 year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table, but the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off the spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
His son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something with Grandpa," said the son. "I have had enough of spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor." So the husband and the wife set a small table in the corner. There Grandpa ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed their dinner. Since Grandpa had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandpa's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped his fork or spilled food. The 4-year old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little wooden bowl for you and Mom to eat your food when I grow up." The 4-year old smiled and went on with
his work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no words were spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took the Grandfather's hand and gently led him to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family.
For some reason, neither the husband or wife seemed to care any longer when a fork dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
That story made me want to cry. The point can be applied in so many different ways, so many different areas... and here was my response.
THIS (the wooden bowl story) is why I love this club - despite the advertisements. When I feel a need to be recharged I can always come here and find something that will do just that.
Jewel's last message really spoke to me, though. It's only right that if I get so much *from* this club, I need to contribute *to* the club as well. However, at this moment, I don't know what I can really add... so I will tell you the sayings I live by.
1. Life is an adventure.
If you keep an adventurous, almost childlike sense of wonder about everything you do, then life is invariably interesting and fun. Even if you take the same route to work everyday and it seems like nothing changes, you can always find something interesting to look at, or something that triggers a good memory... something! Don't let life pass you by - explore it!
2. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Everyday I wake up I am grateful to be alive, even if I am depressed or dealing with problems (who doesn't have problems?). I have survived a terminal disease and other major health problems and crises, escaped an ex-husband who kidnapped me and wanted to torture me before finishing me off, and endured many other physically and emotionally painful things. They didn't kill me; I grew from the
experiences.
An important point to add to this one is that if you are killed, that's not such a bad thing. Whether you believe you'll be singing in some eternal choir, cycling into another life, or endlessly partying in Valhalla, death is not a bad thing. It's just a new thing (at least from the point of view we have right now). So if it DOES kill you, cool... go on to your next life. If it doesn't kill you, learn and grow from it.
3. The only thing you can count on in life is change.
Sometimes humans can be the most resistant creatures to change. We like our routines. However, you just have to live in the moment and enjoy everything as it is right now because you never know when it might be taken away, or when everything might be turned upside down. A month before I moved to Seattle, if someone had asked me if I was ever leaving Arkansas, I would have laughed myself silly. I've been in Seattle since August 2000. Things change.
4. This too shall pass.
When things seem so hard or painful or unbearable that you just can't go on... keep holdin' on... because this, too, shall pass. When you have been humiliated or unjustly accused or even imprisoned, keep in mind that this, too, shall pass.
There are many kinds of prisons, but they cannot confine your soul if you look at life as an adventure, remember that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, things will change, and... this, too, shall pass.
As I think about the events and turmoil of the last few days, I am reminded that I need to stay grounded and centered, and try to remember these things. *sad laugh* Yeah, try to remember...
Well, that's why I keep this journal. No matter how hard it is for me sometimes to be open and honest in here, no matter how much I am afraid it might hurt someone if they read something here, no matter how much I am afraid that people won't like me anymore if they know who I am inside, no matter how unacceptable I fear I will be for telling how I feel... if I don't do it here, I will forget... and those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
And of course, good drugs help, too. Come payday, I have to refill my antidepressant prescription. LOL
~Paisley Blue
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