One of my philosophies of life is
that every day is a new adventure. So far I have not been
disappointed in that. Yesterday CB signed up with a temporary agency
that told him to show up at 6:30 am and he would go to work, plus
get paid the same day. Well, sounds good so far. He did go to work
for eight hours in a chicken plant. Here in Fort Smith, Arkansas,
chicken factories abound. One fact of life about working in such an
environment is that by the time you come home you smell like
chicken. I'm not talking about the mmm-mmm-good smell of fried
chicken, either. He was so tired... I just hugged him and suggested
he might enjoy a nice hot bath. [grin]
I spent several hours of my time today signing up with another
temporary agency. This one has a lot of ads in the paper, so I
figured they might be able to put me to work. I tested better than I
ever had before. My typing was 100 words per minute, and my
alpha-numeric data entry was over 15,000 keystrokes per hour. They
said it should not be difficult to find me a position somewhere. I
am very hopeful about this. Sometimes it surprises me how survival
and paying the rent occupies so much brainpower.
Yesterday my parents picked me up and took me to the grocery
store while CB was out looking for work. After shopping, we made a
trip to my sister's home in the next town, where we ate lunch and I
did a load of laundry. While there my parents announced they had
decided to sell their home and move back into Fort Smith. This was
devastating to my sister for so many reasons I cannot even go into
them.
This morning when I spoke with Mom on the phone, she said Dad had
changed his mind again and does not want to leave his li'l country
home. The fact of the matter is that they are both getting on, both
are disabled, and they really need one of us kids around to help
take care of them. My sister and her husband want to help care for
them but right now her hubby is in college... and they are not able
to do a great deal beyond survive. One of my brothers lives across
the street from Mom and Dad, and he helps them out a lot. He has put
up a For Sale sign in his yard, though, and this influenced my
parents decision to move. After all, if he's not around, who would
help them...?
There is no telling what will eventually happen here.
I told my mother that I understood the emotions on all sides but
in the end they need to do what is best for them. In my heart, I
hope she understands this is how I live my life, too. I am just
doing the best for myself with the decisions I make about how I
choose to live my life. For a long time I followed everybody's
rules, doubting my own ability to make good decisions. I've spent a
lot of time learning how to listen to my intuition... with CB's
encouragement I'm even more confident and happy. [silly i'm-in-love
grin]
Just a mere three years ago I was a hermit, truly agoraphobic and
did not leave my house except to go to the doctor and occasionally
run to the store. I had a wonderful shrink who helped me emerge from
that prison. Some day I'll tell about that, too... but for right
now, Paisley's Journal is about what I'm going through right now, my
feelings while going through it, and all the other stuff that runs
around inside my brain.
~Paisley
Blue
