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Paisley's
Journal
October 19,
2000
The Adventures of Paisley
Blue
It is hard to believe a whole week has gone by
since I last wrote in this journal. Time is flying by for some
reason, but it feels like a good thing. I am doing a lot,
having a lot of fun, living my life.
At work, I
have been getting a lot of reading done. This new system they
trained me on is the heart of our telephone center. I send the
callers to the areas they ask the computer for - whether they
want information, or to talk with a live agent. With only a
week's experience at it, my speed is as fast as the more
experienced workers. I can hardly imagine how good I'll be
after a few more weeks at it. (Boy, doesn't that sound
conceited?)
The police have been hovering around our
apartment/hotel building a lot today which makes me think
perhaps another battering ram incident is imminent. Word on
the street is that there are more busts going down soon in our
building. I'm all for it. If we can get the drug dealers and
users out of there, it might be a halfway decent place to
stay. I know that drug use is a horrible trap, some even call
it a disease. However, after seeing it up close and personal
like I have these past several weeks, it is hard to feel
sympathy because these folks make a conscience decision to
spend their limited resources getting high, instead of doing
laundry, eating, or paying rent.
Drug use is not
glamorous. It stinks. These folks puke in the hallways without
shame. They sleep wherever they fall. If their clothes are
ripped and no longer modest, they really don't care. One of
them told me once in the hallway, "We're really harmless."
Well, I thought, you may not be violent, but you are doing
harm. You are harming yourself, both physically and mentally.
I cannot imagine the damage the drugs do to the body. The
damage to the self-esteem is evident by lack of eye contact,
and in the poetry-graffiti on the bathroom walls. Some people
do get violent when they are high. Even if they don't hit
others, they hit walls, kick doors, and yell at the top of
their lungs at 3:30 in the morning.
Nope, drug use is
not glamorous. It is pathetic. It is a waste of human
potential. It is a waste of time. It is just a waste.
I am glad I have so many good things going for me.
I've never felt better. My physical problems are still intact,
but emotionally and mentally I am feeling pretty darn good. I
have a job that gives me satisfaction. I am getting the health
care I have needed for so long. I am participating in other
activities that I enjoy. I am drawing again, expressing my
creativity. These are all good things.
And last
Saturday was my birthday. I am now 34 years old. My husband
was teasing me that I can no longer say I am in my "early
30's." I suppose he is right, but that is okay. One thing I've
already discovered about getting older is that you are more
self-confident. You have experience. Life is not such a big
mystery. It's like you kinda have an idea of how things are
supposed to go. No wonder adults are always trying to tell
young people how to live. They've finally got it figured out,
and they can also see that when you're a teenager or young
adult, you really don't have all the answers. Ha Ha!!!
The joke is on them! Oh, how ironic. (No offense intended to
all the great teens and young adults I know.)
Have a
wonderful day! I know I will.
~Paisley
Blue | | |
