Decorating With Duct Tape

"Hey Mom, NO FAIR!!!"

Mom's got a new decorating technique and it seems to be designed just to frustrate me. There's all this silvery, sticky, yucky tasting stuff all over the house.

As I look back on it, I know now that Mom played a trick on me one day when she let me out of my cage. After playing with her a little while, I did what comes naturally...I started running around looking for all of my favorite things to get into. Mom was watching me and following me around and not once did she say, "NO!" to me. I thought I had finally gotten her trained. What a wonderful day...I was so proud of Mom. I was getting into everything - chewing on the phone cords and furniture, crawling under the hutch and couch and behind the bed, getting into the closet and burying myself in the shoes and pulling the clothes off the shelves, I even got a taste of some of the books and video tapes on the bookcases. ALL IN FRONT OF MOM!!!!

Well, little did I know then what she was up to. After quite a while of playing and running around and finding new things to get into, I finally went back to my cage, curled up in my bed and took a nap. In case you didn't know, mischief-making is tiring work. I woke up and saw that Mom had my favorite hiding place turned upside down. I was curious so I sat in the corner of my cageand watched her. What was she doing to the sofa? What was that silver stuff she was wrapping around the legs? I watched as she turned it right-side up again and I couldn't see the silver stuff anymore. I decided everything was ok and, since Mom left the room I thought it was a good time to go back to sleep.

As I tried to nap, I kept hearing strange sounds....ripping, tearing, thunking, c-lunking and such. I couldn't imagine what was going on, but Mom sure was being noisy and it wasn't normal.

When I finally woke up, Mom was at the computer ~now things were back to normal~and I immediately went into an award winning "Stare and Sigh" (see Chapter 5 if you don't know what this is). She tried to ignore me, but I always win!! I also won my freedom and was again allowed out of my cage. But Mom was acting funny. It was as if she WANTED me to do the things I usually do. Well, I wrestled with her a little and chewed on my phone book....I have my very own....and I even chased AmieKitty a little. I got so wrapped up in the fun I was having. Mom called me and I decided it was time to play "Hide and Seek". Where was the best place to hide? Under the sofa, of course.

I ran around a little and prepared for entry. As I headed for the space between the sofa and floor, I knew this was going to me one of my best efforts. I would slide through that little space and not even bump my head...this had taken a lot of practice. HEY!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? My perfect entry was suddenly stopped short. In fact I was going so fast, I actually bounced backwards when my nose hit that....that SILVER STUFF!!! I sat there kinda stunned for a minute. I knew I wasn't hurt, but my pride sure was. I looked at Mom and she was laughing at me and asked, "What's the matter, Mischief?" Problem was, I didn't know....

When I finally regained my senses, my curiosity got the best of me. What was this stuff and what was it doing here. I had to check it out. This time I approached it a little more cautiously. I walked up to that silver stuff and bumped it with my nose in several places and tried to crawl under it. I tried to talk nicely to it but it ignored me so I stood up and yelled at it. I even tried to bite it and claw at it. That stuff didn't budge.

By now I was frustrated and ran over to another one of my favorite hiding places. There's a wooden hutch with a big tank of water and things called "fish" in it. I thought I would go under there and think things out and maybe chew on the air-tubes that go to the tank. As I got closer, I saw it....there it was again.....

"MOM," I yipped as I stood up ..."There is some kind of silver monster taking over all my favorite places. What are you going to do about it?" She just sat there at the computer and looked down at me and smiled. You know that "MOM" smile that they all use so well.

I had to know what else this stuff had taken over so I decided to investigate. One of my BEST places to get into trouble was under the desk. Now anyone who has a computer knows about the mess of wires, cords and plugs that hang down. It looks like a big spider web. Everytime I go under there, I get chased out. Well, Mom was sitting right there as I slid behind the desk and didn't shooo me away. I soon found out why. There was that silver monster....ya know, this was getting somewhat irritating. It had wrapped itself around the wires and cords. And to top it off, the wires weren't even hanging to the floor any more. The monster also was holding them up on the back of the desk. I tried to help free them, but I couldn't reach them. I jumped and I yipped and the monster wouldn't let go. As I looked around the room I found that it had wrapped itself around all the wires in the room....TV, lamps, fan, phones....EVERYTHING. It was the same thing in the bedroom...all the wires were taken over by the monster.

I went to the room where Mom makes meals. Yep it was there too. You know that big thing that sits in the corner that keeps food cold...that thing that when AmieKitty meows someone always opens it and puts food in her bowl....well that silver stuff was attached to it and the wall so I couldn't get into that space. I looked at all the little holes in the baseboard near the thing that gets real warm when Mom puts food in it and that other loud thing that Mom puts dirty dishes in. All the holes were covered. I started to wonder just what had happened while I was sleeping. Mom didn't seem overly concerned as she just sat clicking away at the keyboard.

Then I spotted it....there was a small piece of the silver stuff hanging loose....this was my chance....I knew I couldn't kill it, but maybe I could injure it a little so it would crawl away...back to where it came from. I sneaked up on it and I looked it straight in the eye...well, what I thought was the eye....I yipped....it just sat there...I attacked it. I chewed on it, ignoring the awful taste. I scratched at it and as it as it came off the baseboard, I started to wrestle with it. I was getting the best of it....YES!!!! TAKE THAT YOU YUCKY SILVER MONSTER!!!!

Uhhhh Ohhhh....it started to fight back. It never said a thing, but it didn't fight fair at all. All of a sudden it was attached to my backside and tail. I tried to run away but it chased me. It wouldn't let go. I started to panic...what if this wrapped me up like it did the wires. I did the only thing I knew to do....

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM", I cried as I ran to her. She looked around at me and what did she do? She didn't run to me and save me from the monster...noooo, she started LAUGHING at me. She laughed so hard, I thought she was going to fall off her chair. AmieKitty was laying there licking her paws, and she started laughing at me too. HOW RUDE!!!

Finally, as Mom caught her breath and controlled her laughter, she reached out to pick me up. Amie just kept on snickering. Mom gently pulled the monster off of me. It hurt a little, and it took some of my hair with it. I was so embarrassed. But I did learn one thing....I don't bother that silver monster anymore. Every now and then I see that it has moved to a new place. I test it's patience sometimes, but I never attempt to fight with it anymore. I guess I have learned to live in harmony with it...but I don't LIKE it.